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Rob
09-10-2012, 03:22 AM
500 texts without response? Doubt it. Hate to say this but sometimes a 16-year-old might just want to get on with a married 50-year-old as much as the 50-year-old wants to get on with a 16-year-old. It's easy to forget how we once were after we become parents. Now one might say that a minor is a minor regardless but we've all been 16, and probably not as idiotic as our parents thought we were.

I'm sure it's the parents who are pressing charges, but I really can't see how doing this won't put dangerous pressure on their own daughter mentally.

Um, a minor is a minor, a student is a student, and adults should be able to control themselves.

4rkidz
09-10-2012, 03:25 AM
Can everyone please put down "stereotypical comments by victim blamers: the handbook" before they post? Good lord.

I would rep you if I could :)

berthesghost
09-10-2012, 03:36 AM
Can everyone please put down "stereotypical comments by victim blamers: the handbook" before they post? Good lord.I'm pretty sure analia's rant was lifted from page 41 of "Lolita for dummies".:lol: All powerful teen girls rendering middle aged men helpless.

The lawsuit alleges that while driving home from the ice rink in Laurel before the Lake Placid Ice Dance Championships last July, Sretenski, told the girl "not to look at him because it made him 'feel things' and that 'cute girls always cause him problems. Big problems.'"poor guy. Just putty in her hands. :rolleyes:

Rob
09-10-2012, 03:39 AM
I'm pretty sure analia's rant was lifted from page 41 of "Lolita for dummies".:lol:


Wish rep worked.

Prancer
09-10-2012, 04:09 AM
Um, a minor is a minor, a student is a student, and adults should be able to control themselves.

^ This.


His reputation as a premier coach and incredibly skilled choreographer are stellar. I can tell you without a doubt after talking to the accusers family that they were completely blindsided and shocked when they found out that this had happened.

I am going to assume that you are an adult and thus are willing to accept responsiblity for these posts. You are free to say whatever you like here as long as you don't break the rules.

But I feel that I should tell you this--people who know skaters personally sometimes come to this board to post about said skaters, especially if they believe that the skaters are under attack and need to be defended. Those people have nothing but good intentions. It rarely turns out well.

If you can, you might want to talk to the accuser's attorney about the advisablity of posting here.

manleywoman
09-10-2012, 04:20 AM
When I started skating again as an adult really seriously in 1997, I had just moved to Mryland. The closest rink was the Gardens Ice House. I had taken a LONG hiatus from skating as a kid to returning as and adult and didn't remember how to look for a good coach, or shop around for a club, or what to look for in a rink. I was there during the years when Don Laws came in as Skating Director, and then he left a few years later. I skated there almost exclusively, joined the Club, then became a board member. It was, in retrospect (and took me too long to figure out) one of the most toxic environments i've ever been in. Some nasty skating parents, backstabbing lower and higher level coaches, three board members in particular who were really pieces of work, and even Laws played some nasty tricks. I switched to Washington FSC in a few years and started skating at Cabin John, which I loved.

Now that I've been around the block as an adult skater for a long time, and then moved back to Chicago, I was very careful in picking a new rink and coach. been very happy ever since.

Which isn't to say there weren't some great people at the Gardens: I had some great coaches there, met some great skaters. But overall I wouldn't call it positive.

I took lessons from Genrick's wife Julia. She choreographed a bunch of my programs and was very good. I'm feeling for her through all this. :(

I remember when she asked me one day if I needed a drink of water after about 10 mins of choreography and I drank some. She told me that in Russia they never drink water for about an hour, no matter how hard they worked. But she'd get sued in the US if she ever told a student they couldn't take a drink. I asked her if she thought we took too many drink breaks then, and she said yes she couldn't believe how often we all had to go to the boards for drink break.

A bit off topic, but wanted to share my impressions of the place.

OliviaPug
09-10-2012, 05:20 AM
^there ARE 16 year olds who do want to get with 50 year olds. I am NOT saying (and i personally would doubt) that this specific 16 year old does, but it does happen.

And this is relevant how? Rhetorical question. PLEASE don't respond!

As a highschool freshman, my geometry teacher hit on me. When I would go to his desk to retrieve my quizzes and tests, he'd have notes written to show me. He'd comment on my appearance in the hallway. He even tracked me down in the hallway and handed me a folded up paper, which turned out to be a map to his house! He then asked me to meet him there. I was 15. He was probably in his late 30s. It was a horrible experience. I never told anyone except my best friend and my older brother. I was terrified my grades would be affected or worse. But I was a tough 15 year old. His creepy teacher friend came up to me in study hall to ask me about the sleaze teacher, and I told the creepy teacher if the sleaze ever made any more comments or suggestions, I would tell his wife. I still can't believe I said that, but everything stopped right there.

I had nothing to do with this teacher's behavior. He was a sleaze. Period.

Anyone in a position of authority that acts inappropriately toward a student or otherwise is WRONG. 100% WRONG. There is absolutely no reason to examine or even comment on the minor's behavior. PERIOD. To think otherwise is absolutely wrong and warped.

O-

Jozet
09-10-2012, 01:39 PM
Just speaking to the level of protection/separation established by another children/adult group...As a Girl Scout leader, we are not allowed to sleep in the same tents camping with children. If sleeping in hotels, kids must have own rooms *and* own beds. Husbands and wives cannot travel in same cars together when transporting girls. On one hand, it's a shame. On the other hand, I understand why this is done.

As a scout and sports volunteer, it's easy enough to cc: parents/guardians on any emails or texts. That doesn't matter if an adult is going to also text/email directly for unscrupulous purposes. But it's a good faith CYA move to copy parents on communications. As a parent, I think it's smart to retain passwords for all kids' accounts and check in.

I'm not saying this kind of thing wouldn't/couldn't happen while doing all that and don't want to blame the parents. I can see my teen kiddo being embarrassed or mortified enough to hold back info knowing that I would go berserk. Still, to answer the question about directly emailing/texting kids...that's my opinion.

Rob
09-10-2012, 07:30 PM
I remember when she asked me one day if I needed a drink of water after about 10 mins of choreography and I drank some. She told me that in Russia they never drink water for about an hour, no matter how hard they worked. But she'd get sued in the US if she ever told a student they couldn't take a drink. I asked her if she thought we took too many drink breaks then, and she said yes she couldn't believe how often we all had to go to the boards for drink break.

You never saw a water bottle in a ballet class in the 70s and most of the 80s. In fact, it was thought that you'd get a stomach ache from drinking water while dancing. You'd sip from the drinking fountain during breaks or even in between classes or rehearsals. Hydration was not a word we knew back then.

kwanfan1818
09-10-2012, 07:48 PM
It was a very big deal when the NHL started to allow goalies to store water bottles in the top of their nets, so that they could re-hydrate during games. (But, they have a strong union.)

taf2002
09-10-2012, 07:55 PM
I just want to point out for those who aren't aware of it that Lolita is a work of fiction. The fact that it was written by a man is also pertinent. I'm sure older men would love to think that young girls are panting for them but in almost every case, it just ain't happening. So the people who are speculating that the girl may have wanted inappropriate attention or may have come on to him, that is so unlikely as to be almost impossible. Besides, his guilt has not yet been proved so speculating either way right now is not fair to either side. Hopefully the truth will come out.

Jayar
09-10-2012, 08:17 PM
Having teachers sleeping with students was such a common thing in high school that I often wondered if there was something wrong with me that none of the teachers weren't giving me private tutoring lessons. It might have been the mullet and Sally Jesse Rafael glasses, but I now count myself lucky. I earned my grades the old fashioned way-- through studying. It has served me well, even if I get feedback on my writing that is less than celebratory. :P

snowballs
09-10-2012, 09:09 PM
Genrikh released on bail

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/breaking/bs-md-sretenski-released-20120910,0,4960141.story

Frau Muller
09-10-2012, 09:25 PM
Extradition denied. However, he now has 72 hours to turn himself in to NY State authorities. Also just saw report on local NBC4 news. More to come in the 5PM and 6PM news hours.

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Extradition-Denied-Maryland-Figure-Skating-Coach-to-Be-Released-169193756.html

Artistic Skaters
09-10-2012, 10:06 PM
I was there during the years when Don Laws came in as Skating Director, and then he left a few years later. I skated there almost exclusively, joined the Club, then became a board member. It was, in retrospect (and took me too long to figure out) one of the most toxic environments i've ever been in. Some nasty skating parents, backstabbing lower and higher level coaches, three board members in particular who were really pieces of work, and even Laws played some nasty tricks. I switched to Washington FSC in a few years and started skating at Cabin John, which I loved.
I read the post on the previous page from the Gardens FSC official. I sympathize with their plight, since it sounds like they are not involved in this problem. Perhaps now they are all independently operating organizations, but they certainly haven't always been & at times there were certainly what I would consider conflicts of interest between decisions made by these groups. IMO it will be hard or many people to separate the skating club from the ice dance school from the rink management due to past history.

Not to take away from the seriousness of the topic, but I would love to see the breakdown of the ridiculous $5 million coaching bill that's been mentioned several times now. My goodness, that's an awful lot of "world class" coaching.

There was a case earlier this summer in DC reported in the Washington Post about a woman who was an elite level swimmer (or diver?) whose coach had an improper relationship with her when she was young. Eventually it made it her leave the sport. The parents took action against the coach & he settled the case for $150,000 with no mention of wrongdoing & a confidentiality agreement. The woman, now age 40+, decided to go public despite the confidentiality agreement because she is still not over it & finally wants to do the right thing.

Sometimes it is not only about the money.