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dbell1
08-25-2012, 07:37 PM
I'm sort of with Karina on this one. It was the lying first off - he said he had a car, then came clean. Plus, no license with 2 young children? Tells me he's either lost it (a major red flag) or can't drive (sorry, another red flag).

I dated a guy (in my shallow years, when I was in my 20's) who'd lost his license for 3 months. He was so eager to drive again that he'd be trying to put the car in gear when I turned it on. I dumped him. I didn't need a passenger. Also, I was working, he wasn't. No couch scrubs for me! :scream:

leesaleesa - you did the right thing. I once had a coworker like that. Non driver, lived 3 miles from me. She also expected a daily ride once I did it a few times. You're not a chauffeur waiting around for her.

leesaleesa
08-25-2012, 07:57 PM
We are allowed to work anytime from 6am to 5:30pm. Her husband gets off work at 5, so I did ask why doesn't she work until 5 or so and wait for him? She replied that she wants to go home at 3:30, and her children cannot be expected to pick her up (They live at home, are apparently unemployed, and use her car) because it is her culture to give her children everything. :rolleyes:

New update: Responded to an ad with the headline "These go to eleven", so naturally, I asked if he would like to work in a shoe store if the whole rock star thing didn't work out. He was very upset that I seemed to be mocking his music career. Seems he didn't watch the movie after all.

Sounds like I may need some new openers.

canbelto
08-25-2012, 08:01 PM
So in the past 24 hours I also had a guy who told me that he wants to meet women, but also is bi and likes to have sex with guys. I still talked to him after that, because he was fun to talk to. Then he sent me dick pix, and asked me to lunch. When I said "Ok I'll get back to you on that" he said "Will you jerk me off at lunch if I pay for you?":rolleyes:

Kruss
08-25-2012, 10:55 PM
between the Annals of Online Dating and Songkat's Musings I am seriously :rofl:

:D

heckles
08-26-2012, 02:23 AM
Non driver, lived 3 miles from me. She also expected a daily ride once I did it a few times. You're not a chauffeur waiting around for her.

Unfortunately, there are too many car-less people who either come to social events without their ride home arranged in advance and then expect someone to rescue them, or are pushy and say "I'm riding home with you!" instead of asking, who never offer a little money for gas, claim their house or bus stop is "nearby" but really isn't, want to run three errands on the way to the event, or ask on the group's e-mail list who is going to an event without being upfront in that post that what they're looking for is a ride.

Karina1974
08-26-2012, 02:44 AM
Eh, problem is the same with platonic friends who don't have cars. They pat themselves on the back for being so environmental...then ask to bum rides from you, then expect rides from you.

One of the people I know just from contra dancing was contacting me on Facebook (we are not "Friends") asking me for rides to a few of the out-of-town dances, like the dance in Lenox, MA and the dance up in Saratoga. I finally had to block him from messaging me. Turns out I'm not the only person he's been bugging for rides. I mentioned it to G, one of the dancers who IS on my Friends list (because this guy was bugging him first), and he said this guy doesn't even have his license (although I think he's working towards it).

Too bad. I got my license at 21, and have owned a car since 26. Not only that, but I don't know this guy except from contra dancing, and being that Lenox is my only "road trip" drive every month (thanks to the damn gas prices being almost $4.00/gallon again!) I'm not going to share the drive with someone I barely even know, and I have had a couple of conversations with him and honestly, I find him to be rather on the boring side. I want to be able to play whatever music I want to, to sing out loud if I want to ... my road trips to dances are MY time for me, and it would take someone with a tight relationship with me for me to agree to share that drive and that time.

Also, when I go to dances, I stay to the very last (the Lenox dance gets over at 11:30 PM and is an hour's drive one way from Troy, NY, where I and Mr. Needs-a-Ride both live) so... you go with me, you stay to the end, and I don't care if you have to be up at 6:00 AM the next morning. Either that, or you don't go with me.


I work with a woman who asked me a few weeks back for a ride home-I was a bit taken aback as I don't know her too well, but I was going that way that day, so I did, and once the following week. She now expects a ride every day ...

That's EXACTLY what I was avoiding when I side-stepped this guy's asking. That he would start expecting me to play taxi service Every. Single. Time there is a dance that we are both going to. I guess G gave him a few rides, and he starting expecting it, plus I mentioned it to a third person I dance with recently, without naming names, and he knew exactly who I was referring to.

genevieve
08-26-2012, 02:52 AM
Eh, problem is the same with platonic friends who don't have cars. They pat themselves on the back for being so environmental...then ask to bum rides from you, then expect rides from you.


I work with a woman who asked me a few weeks back for a ride home-I was a bit taken aback as I don't know her too well, but I was going that way that day, so I did, and once the following week. She now expects a ride every day, and when I told her I could take her to the bus stop, but not all the way home, she started pouting and couldn't believe I would not drive "Cancer Woman" (her words) home every day. The two times I did take her home, she wasted 25 minutes talking to people while I waited. No more, cancer or no.

proof that rude people come in all varieties...but not that everyone without a car (or a driver's license) is demanding and/or expecting a ride all the time :saint:

But eys, the guy who said he had a car when he didn't? Creeper. That has nothing to do with having a car and everything to do with lying.

I do think the driving/car owning question is a good one on dating sites - if it's a deal breaker either way, people should know it upfront. I'm unlikely to ever date someone who lives outside the city, because what a PITA, right?

Karina1974
08-26-2012, 03:09 AM
You sure assume a lot. Must suck to be you, always so suspicious and paranoid about other people's motives.

It's all about boundaries (set them early and set them firmly). That and the idea that "no one can take advantage of you unless you let them." It's such a simple concept, yet so many people forget it completely once they start dating someone.

Cupid
08-26-2012, 03:32 AM
My online dating experience: I signed up on OKCupid, free. Some guy contacted me and said since we lived in the same town, let's cut through al the cyber chat and I will buy you a "tasty drinK" meet me here. So I planned on it a week earlier, texted him the day of, and supposedly he couldnt make it in time, so we set another date the following week.

...My bad, this happened 4 times in a row. The last time, I got EXTREMELY pissed. We were to meet for a drink at a place of my choice, we both had things going earlier in the eve, but agreed to meet up later.

When I texted him halfway through where he was, where I was, and what was going on, he had the audacity to tell me he was meeting with a blonde from Match.Com and it was boring. Could I meet them at a pub nearby to "spice things up."

That pushed me over the edge... this was my 4TH chance with this guy, which I should never have allowed after the 2nd!

I fixed him though!

Cupid
08-26-2012, 03:35 AM
It's all about boundaries (set them early and set them firmly). That and the idea that "no one can take advantage of you unless you let them." It's such a simple concept, yet so many people forget it completely once they start dating someone.

This is very true, it's to protect yourself. You may think you're stronger than you are, and then some undeserving a-hole just tears down your self confidence in a heartbeat.

leesaleesa
08-26-2012, 04:06 PM
My hard and fast rule with friends and driving is that if I take you to/pick you up from the airport, you better book out of Ft Lauderdale, because I will not drive to Miami. Of course, the one who travels the most and lives minutes from FTL always books out of MIA, and whines about how I will not take her there.

Found a guy I knew from a camera club I used to be part of on Match-He is indeed a creeper who wanted to take women out to the everglades and photograph them nude. There was a photo of him lying down next to some water. I wonder if the camera club people know that's one of the rare times you are vulnerable to alligator attack. I'm sure they do, and that they must hate him.

He does have a nicely written profile. Too bad he's a Creepy Creeperton. Who wants to abscond with naked women, and make them pose with beer bottles in their crotch next to alligators.

canbelto
08-26-2012, 06:48 PM
Last night I agreed to chat on AIM with someone I had met on pof. Literally like two minutes of chatting (this was 1 AM) he was like "come over I've always wanted to hook up with an Asian woman." I was like "so you're giving me a 1 AM booty call and I don't know your name, where you live, or anything." He then bitched me out for not being "spontaneous.":rolleyes:

leesaleesa
08-26-2012, 08:18 PM
My ex used to troll the internet until about 4am every day. I caught him one night webcamming. It's my opinion that men who want to chat you up at 1am aren't interested in finding out more about your kayaking hobby, but rather want to indulge in weirdo fantasy stuff rather than meeting a real life person.

Not that the woman he had been "communicating" with was a fantasy girl, but still.

OliviaPug
08-28-2012, 08:48 PM
So in the past 24 hours I also had a guy who told me that he wants to meet women, but also is bi and likes to have sex with guys. I still talked to him after that, because he was fun to talk to. Then he sent me dick pix, and asked me to lunch. When I said "Ok I'll get back to you on that" he said "Will you jerk me off at lunch if I pay for you?":rolleyes:

If someone sends you dick pix, you don't respond "Ok I'll get back to you on that." You just don't respond and, if possible, you block them! They're waiting for a reaction -- any reaction. Don't give them one, especially one that promises to get back to them! That gives the creepy guys another excuse to be creepy.

Yikes.

O-

OliviaPug
08-28-2012, 08:52 PM
Last night I agreed to chat on AIM with someone I had met on pof. Literally like two minutes of chatting (this was 1 AM) he was like "come over I've always wanted to hook up with an Asian woman." I was like "so you're giving me a 1 AM booty call and I don't know your name, where you live, or anything." He then bitched me out for not being "spontaneous.":rolleyes:

Seriously. You *have* to stop responding to the creeps. If a guy suggests a booty call, why respond? Unless, that is, you're looking for a booty call ... :shuffle:

O-