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SceneIt
07-25-2012, 06:57 PM
What do you think about a guy who that only wants to see you maybe every 3-4 weeks? Never married, no children, so no family obligations. Doesn't call a whole lot, but likes to text. When he does call, he can keep you on the phone for a good hour, so lots to talk about.

This goes on for about 5 months and up to about the 4th month, when you start to have sex (this would be around the 5th actual date), and you want to see more of him, he points out red flags and blows everything out of proporation and ends the relationship.

Was he just after casual sex?

sap5
07-25-2012, 07:01 PM
Yes.

SceneIt
07-25-2012, 07:03 PM
Yes.

So why wouldnt he be interested if he were told that that would be enough for me, and instead said that one of us would get hurt.

PDilemma
07-25-2012, 07:05 PM
So why wouldnt he be interested if he were told that that would be enough for me, and instead said that one of us would get hurt.

He's hiding something. Probably some sort of committed relationship.

FunnyBut
07-25-2012, 07:07 PM
Was he just after casual sex?

I would say more broadly he's not ready for a relationship, whatever the reasons. I'd also consider him quite self-centered (everything on his terms and availability).

milanessa
07-25-2012, 07:23 PM
Are you absolutely certain he isn't married?

sap5
07-25-2012, 07:29 PM
So why wouldnt he be interested if he were told that that would be enough for me, and instead said that one of us would get hurt.

Because he really isn't interested in you, even for casual sex. Maybe he has a secret relationship you don't know about, maybe he just met someone he's more interested in, maybe the sex with you wasn't good, or maybe he's just crazy. The bottom line is, he's not that into you.

Seriously SceneIt, you deserve better than this. A guy like that shouldn't be "enough for you." If you were just interested in casual sex too, you would never have posted this topic. Don't waste time with people like this -- go after those guys who truly care about you. :)

Cupid
07-25-2012, 07:35 PM
Sounds like he might be married or maybe not officially divorced or separated.

SceneIt
07-25-2012, 07:38 PM
Are you absolutely certain he isn't married?

I've been at his place on several occasions, given the grand tour, no signs of a women living there.

He also said he wasnt seeing anybody else. I find it hard to believe because he is very attractive and fit, he has mental health issues (depression/anxiety/panic attacks) for which he is on meds.

Yeah, once I started making demands on his time, like ME doing the instigating of asking what he's doing the upcoming weekends, or ME making the first text message going out, then he backs off.

Couple of friends of mine from just what I told them thought he was a player.

overedge
07-25-2012, 07:46 PM
If there is a woman, she might not be living at the same place that he took you to.

And sap5 is completely right - you deserve better than this.

SceneIt
07-25-2012, 08:02 PM
I sent him a text message yesterday saying if we could at least see each other again within the next several months, and no response. He also ignored an email I sent a few days ago basically apologizing for some mean things that were said, he said some as well. And nothing.

I know it sounds pathetic, but do you think there is any chance he will try to contact me again? Can't believe I let this go on for as long as it did! Next time, if someone doesnt show interest right off the bat, I'm not getting involved!

Michalle
07-25-2012, 08:06 PM
He is definitely not interested. That's why he's ignoring the texts and emails. Forget him.

PDilemma
07-25-2012, 08:06 PM
I sent him a text message yesterday saying if we could at least see each other again within the next several months, and no response. He also ignored an email I sent a few days ago basically apologizing for some mean things that were said, he said some as well. And nothing.

I know it sounds pathetic, but do you think there is any chance he will try to contact me again? Can't believe I let this go on for as long as it did! Next time, if someone doesnt show interest right off the bat, I'm not getting involved!

Move on. Now. Do not try to contact him again and do not respond if he does answer you.

He isn't interested in the same way you are. And that isn't going to change.

It sucks to be alone. But a bad relationship sucks more.

soxxy
07-25-2012, 08:07 PM
.... he has mental health issues (depression/anxiety/panic attacks) for which he is on meds.

Has he spoken how this affects his feelings/decisions/relationships with other people?

luna_skater
07-25-2012, 08:09 PM
Move on. Now. Do not try to contact him again and do not respond if he does answer you.

He isn't interested in the same way you are. And that isn't going to change.

It sucks to be alone. But a bad relationship sucks more.

This.

And somewhat related, I've found a lot of fascinating articles about men on this website: http://goodmenproject.com/. IMO, it's more enlightening for women than reading crap like Cosmo. It provides insight into why men do the things they do, the kind of pressures they face in modern society, etc. I'm not saying I agree with every word that's published there, but I think it's worth browsing for any woman who's been a bit baffled about male behavior at some point!