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allezfred
07-26-2012, 04:36 PM
And then once I did this, the whole online dating experience because something that I didn't want to take part in anymore, so I left.

I'm sure lots of "closeted" men breathed a sigh of relief. :lol:

Vagabond
07-26-2012, 04:37 PM
Upon further reflection, allezfred, I'd say the parallel isn't to Haley Joel Osment, it's to Isabelle Adjani.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvSRUWq5ZNU&feature=player_detailpage#t=233s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ1e0KSgXn4&feature=player_detailpage#t=4306s

:scream:

PDilemma
07-26-2012, 04:39 PM
But you have no actual proof any of these men are gay. You assumed so based purely on stereotypes.

Straight guys can like theater, mountains, music, hanging out with their friends and even Brazilian restaurants. They can travel and get lost and they can even have mannerisms that you don't consider manly enough. And gay guys can like muscle cars and hate figure skating and have no stereotypical mannerisms at all (one of my close friends is a gay man who is accurately described that way).

Sparks
07-26-2012, 04:42 PM
Upon further reflection, allezfred, I'd say the parallel isn't to Haley Joel Osment, it's to Isabelle Adjani.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvSRUWq5ZNU&feature=player_detailpage#t=233s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ1e0KSgXn4&feature=player_detailpage#t=4306s

:scream:

Was that Klimova in the first clip? :shuffle:

made_in_canada
07-26-2012, 04:45 PM
You have no idea how hurtful it is to find out that there are great many men who are closet gays who only want to be paired off with a she-body because they want to be considered heterosexual.

And those posters who are in denial about the legitimacy of my understanding should keep an open mind. It is actually the characteristic of men who are in the closet to bring up gay topics because the whole point is to test if the potential beard is naive (will never think the husband is gay even though he regularly watches gay porn, goes out with men every weekend and has sex with the wife once a year, etc.) or not. And he can only test her if he brings up gay topics and issues in either homophobic or non-homophobic manner and watch her reaction.

:rofl: On a more serious note, I think you need to meet some actual gay people (you know, ones that say they're gay and don't want to make you their beard) so that you don't have to rely on ridiculous stereotypes to base your opinions. Some of your comments, while quite entertaining in how ridiculous they are, I'm finding borderline offensive in their ignorance.


Kasey, "not completely tragic looking"? You're HOT! If I were lesbian, I'd totally go for you! Maybe that means I'm a lesbian?


You beat me to it Angelskates! And I would never have guessed you were 45 either.

Vagabond
07-26-2012, 04:46 PM
Was that Klimova in the first clip? :shuffle:

No, but what a brilliant idea for a program she could choreograph!

magnolia
07-26-2012, 04:48 PM
But you have no actual proof any of these men are gay. You assumed so based purely on stereotypes.

Straight guys can like theater, mountains, music, hanging out with their friends and even Brazilian restaurants. They can travel and get lost and they can even have mannerisms that you don't consider manly enough. And gay guys can like muscle cars and hate figure skating and have no stereotypical mannerisms at all (one of my close friends is a gay man who is accurately described that way).

Well, I described with some detail why I decided why these men were closet gays. Yes, a straight guy can like theater for example, but what if the same guy presents himself to be to be a boring stoic man on the profile, and only reveals later in private exchange his love of the theater (actually, it was musical theater, he specified), mentioning the work of someone who is famously gay, and then upon meeting him, he's got eyeliner tattooed and talks of sexual problems with his ex-wife because he's the more spiritual type, who is making an effort to hide his high-pitch voice and adopt a more 'manly' voice?

The whole thing, I think was considered contextually, and I would never accuse anyone of being gay for going to the mountains, loving music, or Brazilian food.

PDilemma
07-26-2012, 04:50 PM
Well, I described with some detail why I decided why these men were closet gays.
.

You don't get to decide other people's sexuality based on their hobbies or mannerisms. :scream:

made_in_canada
07-26-2012, 04:50 PM
The whole thing, I think was considered contextually, and I would never accuse anyone of being gay for going to the mountains, loving music, or Brazilian food.

I don't really see being gay as an 'accusation' :rolleyes:

PDilemma
07-26-2012, 04:53 PM
I don't really see being gay as an 'accusation' :rolleyes:

That, too.

There seems to be an odd sort of homophobia going on with this.

Perhaps someone is looking for an excuse for not being in or pursuing a relationship and "all the men are gay" is an easy one?

michiruwater
07-26-2012, 04:54 PM
This is totally my new favorite off-season thread :rofl:

antmanb
07-26-2012, 05:08 PM
And then once I did this, the whole online dating experience because something that I didn't want to take part in anymore, so I left.

So because you actively sought out gay men on straight dating sites, met two, declared them to be gay, even though you don't actually know for sure that they are gay, you gave up on internet dating?

Did you ever consider actually looking for someone you were interested in rather then carrying out your perverted experiments on people? :rofl:

sk8er1964
07-26-2012, 05:13 PM
It doesn't matter if your straight or gay, such lying is out of order whatever your sexual orientation.

Weren't you lying too if your primary motivation for going out with them was to "hone your gaydar" and/or see if they were closeted gays, and not to try to have a relationship with them?

modern_muslimah
07-26-2012, 05:14 PM
Thanks for rubbing salt in my wounds. I KNOW he dumped me and was just hoping he'd change his mind. Don't ask why, I just get attached to people, and I was really making an effort with him to NOT be clingy until very recently, over a 5-month span. I see now he just wanted a FWB at his beck and call.

This will get easier I think as each day passes. I left him the text and email message. The ball is in his court. And I have a feeling he won't get back to me since he was never interested in me in that way anyways.

I hope you went to the link I provided in my previous post because I think the book I linked would explain why a lot of people, men and women, get attached to partners so strongly, even when their partners are all wrong for them.

Also, I don't think Kasey was rubbing salt in your wound. He has made clear in his behavior and in actually dumping you, that he is not interested in you. He doesn't have a ball in his court because he has basically destroyed the court. Don't contact him anymore. You need to recognize what signs, including the very big ones, you missed so that maybe if another guy tries to do the same thing to you, you know to stay away from him before getting attached.

SceneIt
07-26-2012, 05:26 PM
I hope you went to the link I provided in my previous post because I think the book I linked would explain why a lot of people, men and women, get attached to partners so strongly, even when their partners are all wrong for them.

Also, I don't think Kasey was rubbing salt in your wound. He has made clear in his behavior and in actually dumping you, that he is not interested in you. He doesn't have a ball in his court because he has basically destroyed the court. Don't contact him anymore. You need to recognize what signs, including the very big ones, you missed so that maybe if another guy tries to do the same thing to you, you know to stay away from him before getting attached.

Thanks for the book recommendation. The local library has it available. From reading the excerpts on line from the book, looks like there are 3 types of attachment styles - anxious, avoidant, and secure - I definitely fit the anxious category. :(