PDA

View Full Version : Dating dilemma



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

milanessa
07-26-2012, 04:10 PM
I'm wondering if it works for both genders. I'm 45, not completely tragic-looking, and never been married/no children. I always thought it was because that was my choice, but now, I realize the truth; I must be a lesbian.



Shocking. How can we ever trust you again? You are suspect. :drama:

PDilemma
07-26-2012, 04:10 PM
I'm wondering if it works for both genders. I'm 45, not completely tragic-looking, and never been married/no children. I always thought it was because that was my choice, but now, I realize the truth; I must be a lesbian.

Anyone want to be a beard?? Not ready to leave the closet yet! :sekret:



I'm sure the cut-off age is lower for women. Either way, my marriage is likely a sham as I was over 35 when we married. I never would have known.

genevieve
07-26-2012, 04:11 PM
Well, if these guys weren't closet gays trying to find a beard, they would have nothing to fear, right?

Pretty sure ALL men should be on the lookout for psychos trolling dating sites looking for perceived behavior to condemn and information to damage their date's reputation.

magnolia
07-26-2012, 04:12 PM
You have no idea how hurtful it is to find out that there are great many men who are closet gays who only want to be paired off with a she-body because they want to be considered heterosexual.

And those posters who are in denial about the legitimacy of my understanding should keep an open mind. It is actually the characteristic of men who are in the closet to bring up gay topics because the whole point is to test if the potential beard is naive (will never think the husband is gay even though he regularly watches gay porn, goes out with men every weekend and has sex with the wife once a year, etc.) or not. And he can only test her if he brings up gay topics and issues in either homophobic or non-homophobic manner and watch her reaction.

Angelskates
07-26-2012, 04:12 PM
Kasey, "not completely tragic looking"? You're HOT! If I were lesbian, I'd totally go for you! Maybe that means I'm a lesbian?

magnolia, how many of these men actually told you they were gay?
I just don't understand why you would seek to date men you thought were closeted gay?

I had an interesting discussion with several straight, IMO, also attractive, men about gay marriage - a key gay issue - the other day. Does that mean they're all gay?

genevieve
07-26-2012, 04:14 PM
You have no idea how hurtful it is to find out that there are great many men who are closet gays who only want to be paired off with a she-body because they want to be considered heterosexual.

And those posters who are in denial about the legitimacy of my understanding should keep an open mind. It is actually the characteristic of men who are in the closet to bring up gay topics because the whole point is to test if the potential beard is naive (will never think the husband is gay even though he regularly watches gay porn, goes out with men every weekend and has sex with the wife once a year, etc.) or not. And he can only test her if he brings up gay topics and issues in either homophobic or non-homophobic manner.
I don't think you actually understand the meaning of the term "an open mind"

SceneIt
07-26-2012, 04:17 PM
I
Oh, and SceneIt? You don't even need to dump him, since he's dumped you. You just need to pull your head out of your ass, grow a bit of confidence in yourself, and never attempt to contact the ass again.

Thanks for rubbing salt in my wounds. I KNOW he dumped me and was just hoping he'd change his mind. Don't ask why, I just get attached to people, and I was really making an effort with him to NOT be clingy until very recently, over a 5-month span. I see now he just wanted a FWB at his beck and call.

This will get easier I think as each day passes. I left him the text and email message. The ball is in his court. And I have a feeling he won't get back to me since he was never interested in me in that way anyways.

Here's the kicker: That old girlfriend he talked about that dumped him? By her unusual first name, and by her photo (he's described her), she's in a social group I joined and we may be meeting up sometime the end of August. The organizer of the group said she had a heavy drinker in it (which supposedly she is) and didnt want me to bring another friend there who is also a heavy drinker because one was all she could handle! It's got to be her! I am thinking of working him into the conversation when I talk to her and see what her side of the story is. I figure by the end of August, I should be sufficiently healed from my broken heart.



That will be the next thread I start :rofl:

berthesghost
07-26-2012, 04:18 PM
Shocking. How can we ever trust you again? You are suspect. :drama:We can't. Notice how she suggested sceneit give up contact with this eligable man, and probably all men. Kasey is obviously recruiting! :lol:

antmanb
07-26-2012, 04:19 PM
I think magnolia is like Haley Joel Osment in "The Sixth Sense". Just instead of ghosts everywhere she goes she sees gay men. :sekret:

walking around like *gasp* regular people :eek: :rofl:

Badams
07-26-2012, 04:19 PM
It is actually the characteristic of men who are in the closet to bring up gay topics because the whole point is to test if the potential beard is naive (will never think the husband is gay even though he regularly watches gay porn, goes out with men every weekend and has sex with the wife once a year, etc.) or not. And he can only test her if he brings up gay topics and issues in either homophobic or non-homophobic manner and watch her reaction.

Maybe they are just testing you because they think YOU'RE homophobic!

berthesghost
07-26-2012, 04:22 PM
walking around like *gasp* regular people :eek: :rofl:
It's deceit that is the issue. The queenie one said several times in his profile that he was "normal". Everyone knows its abnormal to sleep with really hot Brazilian waiters. Duh.

orbitz
07-26-2012, 04:25 PM
I'm wondering if it works for both genders. I'm 45, not completely tragic-looking, and never been married/no children. I always thought it was because that was my choice, but now, I realize the truth; I must be a lesbian.


The stereotype is different for a woman though. A man would be considered probably gay, but for a woman, the more likely perception is that you're a lonely old spinster who couldn't get a man to marry you.

I'm NOT saying that's you, just the stereotype.

Theatregirl1122
07-26-2012, 04:26 PM
Don't depend on reviews, but depend on your own ability to judge and actually read the book! The book's not as bad as the review makes it out to be.


OR EVEN BETTER, depend on your own ability to judge people and social situations and don't read hilarious and dated self help books in order to handle relationships. :rofl:

I'm going to share my nearly fail-proof method for detecting a gay man: any man who tells you he is gay... is almost definitely gay. Or really, really not interested. Dating men and not women is also a sign of being gay.

allezfred
07-26-2012, 04:29 PM
You have no idea how hurtful it is to find out that there are great many men who are closet gays who only want to be paired off with a she-body because they want to be considered heterosexual.

:rofl:


And those posters who are in denial about the legitimacy of my understanding should keep an open mind. It is actually the characteristic of men who are in the closet to bring up gay topics because the whole point is to test if the potential beard is naive (will never think the husband is gay even though he regularly watches gay porn, goes out with men every weekend and has sex with the wife once a year, etc.) or not. And he can only test her if he brings up gay topics and issues in either homophobic or non-homophobic manner and watch her reaction.

Ladies, if your man regularly watches gay porn then he might not really be into you. ;)

However, if you eliminate all men who go out with other men on a weekend as closeted gays then I imagine your pool of potential dates may be pretty shallow. :shuffle:

magnolia
07-26-2012, 04:32 PM
magnolia, how many of these men actually told you they were gay?


None of them. That's the whole point. These men were on online dating sites to find an unsuspecting woman to deceive into marrying so they could pose as a heterosexual man.


I just don't understand why you would seek to date men you thought were closeted gay?

I was trying to find someone to have a romantic relationship with, and unfortunately, the first guy I dated turned out to be a closet gay, which really shocked me. Up until then in my life, I had only knowingly met openly gay men and women. I had lived in a gay community and that was perfectly great. But closeted gay men and women are completely different kettle of fish, and as I wrote earlier, I don't mind if someone is in the closet without trying to fool someone into intimacy, but I found out, for the first time in my life, there is a segment of society who are gay who are so desperate to pose as straight, they will truly play with someone's feelings.

And it shocked me that it took me two full dates to figure out that the first guy was gay, and I felt afraid that something like this might happen to me again, so afraid that I decided to 'train' my gaydar a little to make sure it wouldn't happen again. Hence, I then willfully met two men on the online site who I thought were pretending to be straight.

I guess people think this part was wrong, but they were in the wrong in the first place! If these men had been honest, had written in their profile 'I am a gay man in the closet who would like to marry a woman because we live in a homophobic society and I would like to escape from discrimination and who's business is it anyway, if I'm straight or gay?', then that is a different matter. But they lied. It doesn't matter if your straight or gay, such lying is out of order whatever your sexual orientation.

And then once I did this, the whole online dating experience because something that I didn't want to take part in anymore, so I left.