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magnolia
08-02-2012, 05:40 PM
No good comes from hanging on to hurt like its a pet. We've all had bad dating experiences. The sooner you flush away the hurt of rejection, the sooner you'll be able to get on with finding true love. IMO.

Yes, thank you bertheghost. I think that's my exit. Without further ado, I'm outta here!! :scream:

aftershocks
08-02-2012, 11:14 PM
… I was very, very clear, unequivocally clear, ... Look, I'm just trying to stop posters from harrassing me about using the expression, 'a lesser gay'...

Apparently you’ve split the premises, magnolia, and others here have made themselves “very clear, unequivocally clear" too, but here are my additional thoughts/ responses:

You can’t stop anyone from doing anything. Sure you can try, but essentially you only have control over your own behavior.

Wisdom from Rumi (13th century poet/ mystic)

If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.


Well, you kind of denied that you are gay and married. And I see that you are gay. Therefore, I am happy to assume that you are out, which makes you a 'greater gay'...

Your assumptions are so outre. ;) ITA with Johnny Galecki that whether “lesser” or “greater” gay, “Lezza,” bi, or hetero, the actual essences/ existences of variant genders is not something for me or for you to be offended by or have to pronounce or defend against. OTOH many may be offended by labeling and objectification.

In any case, perhaps I was "taking the mickey out" :) in my earlier post, but I was also giving you proper attribution, especially since you seemed unhappy about not getting credit earlier on in this thread for your "inventiveness."


I can't help it if I described my first and third closet gay as being typically effeminate…

Of course you can help it. Whatever you do is your own choice.


... I never thought I would get so much snarkiness for raising this issue on FSU, and I sure have learnt something about the demographics of this forum as a result.

Welcome to FSU. For someone who has been coming here since 2009, it took you this long to learn about the demographics? Obviously, snarks are a dime a dozen. But again for every action, there is a reaction. As others have pointed out, posters have not necessarily been snarking or taking issue with you simply for bringing up gays, marriage and relationships in sharing some of your personal experiences. It has been your presumptions, assumptions and some of your actions which you decided to reveal that have been questioned. Surely you weren’t expecting everyone to think exactly the way you do or to be supportive of everything you’ve shared.

Rumi:

Whatever you seek is seeking you.

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.


Happiness of gay people is important, but so are other things.

Duh!

Rumi:

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you...

You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?


Good. :)

You probably learned two lessons - one about relationships and one about posting about relationship problems on FSU. :shuffle:

ITA, mkats!

Well, at least SceneIt seems to have gained some “greater” knowledge in spite of all the “lesser” brouhaha.


BTW, misskarne, thanks and yes, I actually did read this thread :lol: and I’m hoping I haven’t lost too many brain cells in the process, but oh well, it was my choice to read it and losses of every kind are just part of the human condition. :P


...We can laugh at her "reaseach methods" or :rolleyes: At her outdated stereotyping, but I don't understand whats so wrong with this basic idea that liar is lesser that honest.

Yes, bg, maybe so, but “lesser” in magnolia's apparent sense of “gay liar” doesn’t seem to me to be a “basic idea.” In magnolia's own words, “lesser” preceding a gender label is her very own “accidental invention.” As if she’s anticipating royalties of some kind!


No good comes from hanging on to hurt like its a pet. We've all had bad dating experiences. The sooner you flush away the hurt of rejection, the sooner you'll be able to get on with finding true love. IMO.

ITA bg, and thanks! None of us can even hold onto our pets either in these three dimensions, no matter how hard the pain of separation is when they die.

Rumi:

Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.

For one moment quit being sad. Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Don't keep serving people your pain! If you could untie your wings and free your soul ... you and everyone around you would fly up like doves.

Aussie Willy
08-02-2012, 11:29 PM
I guess, yes, I am complaining about the amount of hate that's being laid out. It seems disproportionate to what I actually did, which was that I went on several dates with them! My existence means nothing to these men, you know. And in comparison, I was writing about what happens to millions of women and what could have potentially happened to me, that is, to live a wasted life.

If you do come back to this thread, you are gettting so much snarkiness not for what you initially said, but that you keep defending your right to say what you do and trying to defend yourself against the indefensible. You just keep digging yourself into a bigger and bigger hole.

vesperholly
08-03-2012, 12:46 AM
This thread! So many new rep levels! "User is a lesser gay" :rofl: :watch:

canbelto
08-03-2012, 12:49 AM
This thread is certainly the most entertaining in a long time. And I thought my dating life was pathetic :lol::rofl:

taf2002
08-03-2012, 05:32 AM
I guess, yes, I am complaining about the amount of hate that's being laid out. It seems disproportionate to what I actually did, which was that I went on several dates with them!

I'm not sure that what you're experiencing is actually hate. In my case it's mostly disgust for the blatent homophobia & irritation at anyone who believes she can put people into neat little boxes: this one's a lesser gay, this is a closet gay, this one is straight, etc. Life doesn't work that way.

Maybe the 1st guy was gay & intended to get to know you before he asked you to be his beard. Maybe he never meant to deceive you. I think you would need to be a friend 1st before you can be a beard (I mean long term). But even if he did, this is one person you should be mad at. If a person is a deceiver who uses people, what difference does it make that he is gay? He's still not a very nice person. Gay has nothing to do with it.

Angelskates
08-03-2012, 02:43 PM
Maybe the 1st guy was gay & intended to get to know you before he asked you to be his beard. Maybe he never meant to deceive you.

Or maybe he was straight.

Magnolia, people don't like what you've posted because you think you get to decide who is gay, and who isn't based on a checklist. That's ridiculous. It's as simple as that. You're homophobic. You deceived people deliberately. You're the only one who can be proven to be in the wrong, because you told us. The men didn't deceive you; you don't know they were gay. You can have as many checklists as you want - they decide their sexuality, not you. You say you don't like deceit, even though there's no proof you were deceived, and then you go and deceive. I don't hate you, I don't know you, but I've found the content of some of your posts to be offensive, and really just appalling.

Nan
08-03-2012, 02:53 PM
^ That's it, in a nutshell.

magnolia
08-03-2012, 03:26 PM
Or maybe he was straight.

Magnolia, people don't like what you've posted because you think you get to decide who is gay, and who isn't based on a checklist. That's ridiculous. It's as simple as that. You're homophobic. You deceived people deliberately. You're the only one who can be proven to be in the wrong, because you told us. The men didn't deceive you; you don't know they were gay. You can have as many checklists as you want - they decide their sexuality, not you. You say you don't like deceit, even though there's no proof you were deceived, and then you go and deceive. I don't hate you, I don't know you, but I've found the content of some of your posts to be offensive, and really just appalling.

You know what, that charge, I accept.

I can only but assure you I tried to describe how these men looked to me as accurately as I remember, and that I did recount what was written on the profile and what was said to me, but you are right. They never said they were gay, it is I that said they were gay. Of course, on an intuitive level, I don't feel that they were, but my intuition is just an intuition, not science or fact, and they may have been straight, in which case, there was no deception on their part. It is possible that they were straight men who were interested enough in me to go on a date, which makes every accusation I threw at them to be wrong.

kylet3
08-03-2012, 07:34 PM
This thread is all kinds of :scream: and :rofl: at the same time. I've never quite seen anything like it in my time.

I've had to cover my mouth on my lunch hour because I was trying not to burst out laughing in front of my bosses training a new sales rep...

SceneIt, AFF should have been your first clue that this guy was up to no good, it seems to me you seem to have issues in terms of letting this guy go, he's a putz, remember that the sun will come up the next day and life goes on, there's no point in worrying about this idiot. Move on and get over it.

Secondly, magnolia, you're stories have got to be some of the most insane and idiotic B/S that I have ever read in my life. I am an out and proud gay man, I happen to like camping, fishing, hiking, watching NHL hockey and having a beer at a pub, so does that mean the heteros have to be on high alert that I'm going to hit on them? That being said, I'll spend a Saturday night flipping back and forth between a hockey game and sex in the city or I'll listen to Keith Urban one minute and Celine Dion the next.

The idea that you post that just because you assume men are gay because of certain mannerisms/behaviors is just lunacy. There are plenty of straight men who may happen to enjoy going to the theatre or whatever else you happen to consider to be "gay". Just because someones to have different interests or doesn't meet your criteria doesn't automatically make them gay? You seem to have a deeply-ridden homophobia, threatning to out them to co-workers, peers, friends when it's clearly none of your business. How about you do a favor, take your head out of your ass because it's so far up there it's clearly coming out of your mouth, I think your ass must be jealous of the b/s that comes out of your mouth. Have you ever thought you might just be a twit and that these guys simply aren't into you?

michiruwater
08-03-2012, 07:41 PM
Oh good lord.

SceneIt did not meet the douchebag on AFF. She did not. She met him at a recently divorced/separated support group. SceneIt only found his AFF ad roughly 3 days ago.

Therefore, it couldn't really have been a 'first clue', right?

kylet3
08-03-2012, 07:50 PM
Ok then that's my mistake. I mis-read.

magnolia
08-03-2012, 08:19 PM
Aaarrgghhh! mea cupa!!


I am an out and proud gay man, I happen to like camping, fishing, hiking, watching NHL hockey and having a beer at a pub

Yeah, I know many gay men are not 'effeminate' or whatever.


so does that mean the heteros have to be on high alert that I'm going to hit on them?

:confused: No.


The idea that you post that just because you assume men are gay because of certain mannerisms/behaviors is just lunacy.

I already admitted the possibility that my dates might not have been gay because they did not say they were.

Aw, call it what you want, I still say my three dates were gay. They didn't fancy me, and yet they still wanted to date me.

Vagabond
08-03-2012, 09:53 PM
Yes, thank you bertheghost. I think that's my exit. Without further ado, I'm outta here!! :scream:

:)


Entire post


Entire post

:fragile:

But ... you promised you were outta here! :wuzrobbed

kylet3
08-03-2012, 10:13 PM
:)





:fragile:

But ... you promised you were outta here! :wuzrobbed

:rofl: