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Theatregirl1122
08-02-2012, 03:38 PM
I never thought I would get so much snarkiness for raising this isssue on FSU

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: This really is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Snark? On FSU? How shocking!

hydro
08-02-2012, 03:47 PM
I don't know why you continually choose to misunderstand what I write. I define someone a 'lesser gay' as 'someone who happens to be gay and is deceiving someone of the opposite sex to enter into a marriage by pretending to be straight'. It is the fact that they are deceiving someone else and jeopardizing that someone else's chance at happiness that makes them 'lesser'.

Well, by your own admission in this thread, you deceived someone with ill-intentions in the dating world. So I don't think you're the best judge on what is lesser or greater.

Perhaps you need to read some self-improvement books before the dating ones? Because, honey, lesser or greater, your shit still stinks.

magnolia
08-02-2012, 03:50 PM
Well, by your own admission in this thread, you deceived someone with ill-intentions in the dating world. So I don't think you're the best judge on what is lesser or greater.

Perhaps you need to read some self-improvement books before the dating ones? Because, honey, lesser or greater, your shit still stinks.

You are very unforgiving of me but very forgiving of 'lesser gays', if you are to compare what I did to what a 'lesser gay', by definition, does.

I don't think I even made a dent on my three dates' chance at happiness. I didn't marry them.

berthesghost
08-02-2012, 03:56 PM
It's not just "young gays in oppressive countries" who are in danger by being out.Duh

Not sure what your point is, but if you think fake marriages are the answer to homophobia, you and I are not kindred spirits. I came out back in the 80s, was very politically active in the 90s, and feel that I fought long and hard for my legal gay marriage, so sorry, like magnolia, I have 0 sympathy for middle class adult men in 1st world nations with relaxed views and decriminalization regarding homosexuality who choose to lie in order to make their lives easier. Sure, I could get gay bashed at any time. But I'm also more likely to just get mugged for my wallet. Having a beard isn't going to prevent another mathew Shepard, it's going to help cause it imho. I fought to make the world a better place and if my :rolleyes: at guys who lie about their sexuality so they can get higher pcs at a skating comp makes me a bitch, then so be. Guess I'll just print it on a t shirt and wear it out. :lol:

Sparks
08-02-2012, 04:00 PM
I said nothing about gays marrying a non-consentual beard.
I was simply making a point that gays can be persecuted everywhere.

michiruwater
08-02-2012, 04:08 PM
You are very unforgiving of me but very forgiving of 'lesser gays', if you are to compare what I did to what a 'lesser gay', by definition, does.

That's because you are in this thread, saying really terrible things, and acting like we have the problem because we are calling you out on them.

If you don't want to feel harrassed for having coined 'lesser gay', then you shouldn't be the homophobic person you are who coined it in the first place. I've said this before, but I will say it again: you know absolutely NOTHING about the lives of these 'lesser gays' that you are classifying as a collective group. NOTHING. And it is really hypocritical of you to call them lesser for deceiving someone when you don't even know if that's what was happening, and also YOU went out and purposefully deceived two separate men on your own. If deceit is the sign of someone lesser, then you have classified yourself, by your own definition, as a lesser human being. Congratulations.

Badams
08-02-2012, 04:18 PM
And the lesser gays shall inherit the earth...

magnolia
08-02-2012, 04:42 PM
That's because you are in this thread, saying really terrible things, and acting like we have the problem because we are calling you out on them.

If you don't want to feel harrassed for having coined 'lesser gay', then you shouldn't be the homophobic person you are who coined it in the first place. I've said this before, but I will say it again: you know absolutely NOTHING about the lives of these 'lesser gays' that you are classifying as a collective group. NOTHING. And it is really hypocritical of you to call them lesser for deceiving someone when you don't even know if that's what was happening, and also YOU went out and purposefully deceived two separate men on your own. If deceit is the sign of someone lesser, then you have classified yourself, by your own definition, as a lesser human being. Congratulations.

I admit, I was wrong to have willfully searched for two more closet gays after I realized the first one was. And I didn't really like myself for doing this, though, if I were to be totally honest, I feel it was necessary for me to gain that experience to achieve a peace of mind.

I guess, yes, I am complaining about the amount of hate that's being laid out. It seems disproportionate to what I actually did, which was that I went on several dates with them! My existence means nothing to these men, you know. And in comparison, I was writing about what happens to millions of women and what could have potentially happened to me, that is, to live a wasted life.

But yes, maybe, as Theatregirl1122 writes, this is FSU and I am very stupid to expect anything but snarkiness here.

MacMadame
08-02-2012, 04:51 PM
That's because you are in this thread, saying really terrible things, and acting like we have the problem because we are calling you out on them.

And, by comparison, the only thing they did to you was go on a date with you.

hydro
08-02-2012, 05:01 PM
I guess, yes, I am complaining about the amount of hate that's being laid out. It seems disproportionate to what I actually did, which was that I went on several dates with them! My existence means nothing to these men, you know. And in comparison, I was writing about what happens to millions of women and what could have potentially happened to me, that is, to live a wasted life.

But that's the thing -- you're life would be wasted because of you, not anyone else. Even if you are to marry a handsome, rich, straight, hung, caring, wonderful, amazing man, you have the potential for a wasted life. It is not about the gays, it's about you and what you do with the situations you're in.

You keep insisting that the gays are causing you turmoil from deception, but that is so besides the point. There are also millions and millions of women (and men) in unhappy marriages that you would probably think their lives are wasted. It's not about the gays, but you keep making it about the gays.

Deception happens to everyone, gay straight black white purple beige (I think this is a Lady Gaga song). But it is your blatant homophobia that has you targeting gays -- and that deserves to be challenged.

magnolia
08-02-2012, 05:15 PM
And, by comparison, the only thing they did to you was go on a date with you.

:lol:

Yes, logically, you're right of course, but then if I were to accept that, a closeted gay man who comes out after years of marriage to his wife could then validate himself by saying to his wife, 'but the only thing I did was marry you!' which doesn't seem right.

I guess intent is important, and with my first date, my intent was 'pure'. I really wanted a romantic relationship and thought it might work out. But with the latter two, my intent was 'unpure'. I wanted to see if I could sense if someone was gay or not, which was a wrong reason to date.

Still, I am heterosexual, so if I had thought that they were straight and truly interested in me, things could have gone differently.

gkelly
08-02-2012, 05:19 PM
but then if I were to accept that, a closeted gay man who comes out after years of marriage to his wife could then validate himself by saying to his wife, 'but the only thing I did was marry you!' which doesn't seem right.

If he was faithful to her during the marriage and not sure himself of his true desires, then coming out later when he's more comfortable with himself and/or with acceptance by the outside world is perfectly valid, not "lesser" at all.

If he was cheating on her during the marriage, then what difference does it make whether he was cheating with other men or with other women? He was still deceiving her, putting her at risk of STDs, etc.


And if he was always bisexual and had told her on a second date or the day he proposed marriage or any time in between, there's no deception.

magnolia
08-02-2012, 05:26 PM
You keep insisting that the gays are causing you turmoil from deception, but that is so besides the point. There are also millions and millions of women (and men) in unhappy marriages that you would probably think their lives are wasted. It's not about the gays, but you keep making it about the gays.

Deception happens to everyone, gay straight black white purple beige (I think this is a Lady Gaga song). But it is your blatant homophobia that has you targeting gays -- and that deserves to be challenged.

No, this particular discussion is occuring because I wanted to explain that the adjective 'lesser' was used to point to a specific type of closeted gay who deceive women into marriage.

The crux of the discussion is that a heterosexual wo/man is not deceiving anyone about his/her heterosexuality, but a homosexual wo/man is, if s/he is trying to marry someone without revealing their true sexual orientation.

I am not insisting that gays are causing turmoil for me. Closeted gays are not causing me any turmoil now.

magnolia
08-02-2012, 05:29 PM
If he was faithful to her during the marriage and not sure himself of his true desires, then coming out later when he's more comfortable with himself and/or with acceptance by the outside world is perfectly valid, not "lesser" at all.

If he was cheating on her during the marriage, then what difference does it make whether he was cheating with other men or with other women? He was still deceiving her, putting her at risk of STDs, etc.


And if he was always bisexual and had told her on a second date or the day he proposed marriage or any time in between, there's no deception.

I guess I am caught up in the belief that you need to find someone sexually desirable to love them in a romantic way, and that marriage should be founded on romantic love.

berthesghost
08-02-2012, 05:37 PM
No good comes from hanging on to hurt like its a pet. We've all had bad dating experiences. The sooner you flush away the hurt of rejection, the sooner you'll be able to get on with finding true love. IMO.