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magnolia
08-02-2012, 09:31 AM
:eek: / :rofl: ... "taking the mickey out" is an apt expression, but not one I regularly hear. I see it is British slang for "taking the piss out." :lol: No, I just wanted to be sure to give you credit for your "accidental invention."

Perhaps finding more enlightening reading material than "The Rules," might be helpful for you magnolia, or maybe you might gain from following some of the advice offered for SceneIt. Or not.

Good luck, btw.

Some reading suggestions:
Eckhart Tolle
Gurdjieff
The Kybalion
Malidoma Some

or maybe just some fun reads like Nora Roberts/ JD Robb :P

:lol: I was thinking that I was going to have to do another session of watching the Olympics and checking this forum again.
Thanx for the reading suggestions, and I am happy to assume that you are a greater gay. :)

aftershocks
08-02-2012, 09:47 AM
We all have free will, magnolia, (as humans). ;)

But haven't you heard the cautionary saying about "assuming" anything?

magnolia
08-02-2012, 10:04 AM
Well, you kind of denied that you are gay and married. And I see that you are gay. Therefore, I am happy to assume that you are out, which makes you a 'greater gay'.

Within this scheme, I personally would be a 'less than a lesser gay', as while a 'lesser gay' has the choice to exercise free will and become a 'greater gay', I, not being gay, could never hope to even be a 'lesser gay'. ;)

misskarne
08-02-2012, 10:58 AM
We all have free will, magnolia, (as humans). ;)

But haven't you heard the cautionary saying about "assuming" anything?

Didn't you read the thread? Magnolia has a supersensory power and KNOWS when someone is a closet gay. Doesn't even have to ask! Just knows by looking at an online profile. :rolleyes:

magnolia
08-02-2012, 11:12 AM
Didn't you read the thread? Magnolia has a supersensory power and KNOWS when someone is a closet gay. Doesn't even have to ask! Just knows by looking at an online profile. :rolleyes:

It's not an assumption! Aftershocks wrote that he was a 'lesser gay'!

Magnolia a.k.a. 'less than lesser gay' (maybe I'll change my profile name now!)

Karina1974
08-02-2012, 12:23 PM
Not everyone finds themselves in a relationship, so you have to learn to be self-reliant and develop your life around that.

:respec::respec::respec:

Aussie Willy
08-02-2012, 01:45 PM
It's not an assumption! Aftershocks wrote that he was a 'lesser gay'!
And you always believe everything you read?

SceneIt
08-02-2012, 02:05 PM
I have an honest question for SceneIt. Did this guy rock your world? Make you laugh? Were you guys close friends prior to this relationship? Because I'm honestly not seeing why you're even all that upset.

Yes, he rocked my world and made me laugh. No, we were not close friends prior to the relationship. I was upset because it ended so ... abruptly. We had plans to get together on Sunday, we talked earlier in the week and he seemed to look forward to seeing me again, and then wham!

All I can do now is put this behind me and move forward, get to know myself better, and continue on. Learned a lesson here.

mkats
08-02-2012, 02:14 PM
All I can do now is put this behind me and move forward, get to know myself better, and continue on. Learned a lesson here.

Good. :)

You probably learned two lessons - one about relationships and one about posting about relationship problems on FSU. :shuffle:

magnolia
08-02-2012, 02:54 PM
And you always believe everything you read?

Look, I'm just trying to stop posters from harrassing me about using the expression, 'a lesser gay'.

I was very, very clear, unequivocally clear, that to me, someone who happens to be gay and is deceiving someone of the opposite sex to enter into a marriage by pretending to be straight is a 'lesser gay'. I used 'lesser' only in so far as the expression 'a lesser man/woman/person' is used to describe 'someone who is not as good or as moral as someone else.' (MacMillian definition) And yes, I think gay people who are gay and are out are the 'greater gays'.

I repeatedly explained that I support gay rights. If ever there was a referendum on gay marriage in Japan, I would support it. I have gay friends. (In fact, I told one of them about what I was experiencing here and he just went, 'ah, well, westerners are so forward' in a most uncampy manner, being Japanese.) I lived in a gay community for two years. I, like most average women, don't care if I've got gay neighbours and I have been taught by many gay and lesbian teachers. As a result, if ever I had a child (which seems unlikely), I know I can entrust care of my child to gay and lesbian individuals.

I can't help it if I described my first and third closet gay as being typically effeminate. They were, and that's probably why they were so desperate to get married because people around them knew and it was affecting their social standing. And I don't really understand why it's SO important for posters here to say that I got it wrong with the second closet gay?

It really is true that the number of women who find out that their husbands are gay run up to the millions, which is something that can be verified if you do a simple google check (see http://www.womensforum.com/gay-husband-signs.html for example), and yet, it's like I'm the one in denial here?

I never thought I would get so much snarkiness for raising this issue on FSU, and I sure have learnt something about the demographics of this forum as a result.

Happiness of gay people is important, but so are other things.

misskarne
08-02-2012, 03:09 PM
I was very, very clear, unequivocally clear, that to me, someone who happens to be gay and is deceiving someone of the opposite sex to enter into a marriage by pretending to be straight is a 'lesser gay'. I used 'lesser' only in so far as the expression 'a lesser man/woman/person' is used to describe 'someone who is not as good or as moral as someone else.' (MacMillian definition) And yes, I think gay people who are gay and are out are the 'greater gays'.


And you know, I think that's one of the worst things you've said in this thread. What gives you the right to call someone "lesser" because they are not out? They may not be in a position to be out, they may be in a position where their life would be in danger if they were. Why does that make them a "lesser" person?

magnolia
08-02-2012, 03:15 PM
And you know, I think that's one of the worst things you've said in this thread. What gives you the right to call someone "lesser" because they are not out? They may not be in a position to be out, they may be in a position where their life would be in danger if they were. Why does that make them a "lesser" person?

I don't know why you continually choose to misunderstand what I write. I define someone a 'lesser gay' as 'someone who happens to be gay and is deceiving someone of the opposite sex to enter into a marriage by pretending to be straight'. It is the fact that they are deceiving someone else and jeopardizing that someone else's chance at happiness that makes them 'lesser'.

If someone is just in the closet by remaining to be single, or having a partner that they keep quiet about, or having a consensual beard, they're just in the closet, they are not 'lesser gays'.

berthesghost
08-02-2012, 03:24 PM
And you know, I think that's one of the worst things you've said in this thread. What gives you the right to call someone "lesser" because they are not out? They may not be in a position to be out, they may be in a position where their life would be in danger if they were. Why does that make them a "lesser" person?I don't think shes saying that at all. She's clearly not talking about young gays in oppressive countries who are in real physical danger if out. She has told us like 100 times that she is talking about adult men who are comfortable being gay, but don't want to give up certain perks like $$$, social status, career advancement, etc.. So pretend to be what they are not for more worldly goods. also, she's been very clear that she's doesn't consider them looking for willing beards, but are trying to deceive naive women into thinking they are marrying a straight man. The "lesser" comment was clearly meant because they are liars, deceivers, cheats. She's told us repeatedly that's she talking about active gay Japanese adult men she thinks are trying to trick women into a false marriage.

Magnolia seems to think that out gay Japanese men who are honest about who they are "better people" than gay Japanese men who lie about their lives and try to trick people. We can laugh at her "reaseach methods" or :rolleyes: At her outdated stereotyping, but I don't understand whats so wrong with this basic idea that liar is lesser that honest.

Sparks
08-02-2012, 03:30 PM
It's not just "young gays in oppressive countries" who are in danger by being out.

genevieve
08-02-2012, 03:30 PM
Look, I'm just trying to stop posters from harrassing me about using the expression, 'a lesser gay'.
yeah, good luck with that :rofl: