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leesaleesa
08-02-2012, 03:00 AM
Yes, I suppose I am a twit. Better a twit than a middle aged fool.

Aussie Willy
08-02-2012, 03:02 AM
One of my friends, who happens to be gay, but is not out to his parents, has me pretend to be his girlfriend whenever they come to visit.

I act as his beard. To make him seem more manly. Or something. Anyway, it's consensual bearding, so it's all good. :)
Oh so I used to be a beard for a gay friend. He worked at a law firm and took me to their Christmas parties, basically because he didn't want anyone there to know he was gay. We always had the best time. On Monday he got lots of comments about that really fun girl he was with at the party.

PrincessLeppard
08-02-2012, 03:05 AM
:respec:

Being a (consensual) beard is one of the most awesome things ever.

Anita18
08-02-2012, 03:06 AM
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one reporting to my SO with updates. It is as good as the Olympics. And to think, I almost stopped reading when the thread was just one page long.

Neither my husband or I ever had to online date, we were high school aquaintances. I would be totally lost in the dating world.today.
Oh, I met my fiance online dating. It was fairly painless and unexciting for me. The thing is that we are sane, and have no problem dropping the creeps like yesterday's news. :lol:

taf2002
08-02-2012, 03:21 AM
You clearly don't have great reading comprehension skills if you misread what I wrote.

This thread is in English. My degree is in English. I think my reading comprehension is just fine. Insulting me won't make you sound less batshit crazy.


Being gay in itself is nothing perverted. If you're gay, you're just gay. If you talk to someone about going to a nudist beach on a first date, whether the beach is for straights or for gays, that's perverse behavior, if you ask me. But I guess that's just me then. Different strokes for different folks.:blah:

Way to be judgemental. Aren't 1st dates a getting-to-know-you activity? To be safe in the future, why don't you instruct your dates that you will list the acceptable topics of conversation, then they won't accidentally tell you info that you didn't want to know. Maybe the guy was trying to see if you would be agreeable to going to a nudist beach. Of course he might have been a closet gay. Or a lesser gay.


:respec:

Being a (consensual) beard is one of the most awesome things ever.

I think it's a compliment (IOW he thinks his work friends/acquaintances will think you're hot). I've never gotten to do it. All my gay friends are out & more (as opposed to lesser).

manleywoman
08-02-2012, 03:26 AM
BTW - your comments about finding yourself are so true. So many people hook up in relationships because they think it gives them a sense of identity whereas they should be looking to themselves for it.

That describes my sister in a nutshell.

MacMadame
08-02-2012, 03:38 AM
Here's the history.
antmanb took what I said totally out of context and twisted it all around to mean bullshit things like "rules" applied to ALL people, etc...
I said most people do 8 dates in 1 month. A lot of people objecting because they feel most people do 8 dates in 2 months. Whatever. At the end of the day, SceneIt still had 8 dates over 5 months with a guy she still claims to not really know. It's not a big surprise.
Actually you left out the message that most people were responding which was:


You're being sarcastic right? If not, and you really can't be bothered to share dinner, lunch or even coffee once or twice a week with someone else, I'd have to say you're not "weird" but just completely uninterested in ever having a relationship. To each his own.

(Bolding is mine)

IMO, there's a big difference between saying most people (or even just some) routinely get in 8 dates a month and telling a particular poster that you had trouble taking their message seriously (i.e., You're being sarcastic, right?") and deciding that they are completely not interested in ever having a relationship if they "can't be bothered" to date someone 8 times in a month.

That was both personal and a pretty broad claim so you shouldn't be surprised that people reacted strongly to it.

Aussie Willy
08-02-2012, 03:49 AM
:respec:

Being a (consensual) beard is one of the most awesome things ever.
I think it is pretty awesome too.

I was the first person he came out to and I accepted it with great honour. His family were not the most supportive (father was secretly gay apparently) and it was important that he felt he could trust me enough to say it. I do look on it as one of the most important things I have done in my life.

Plus they were great Christmas parties.

Vagabond
08-02-2012, 04:17 AM
Oh, I'm keeping my BF updated as well. I also got the "wtf you guys don't ever talk about skating, do you" answer :rofl:

Skating? :confused:

berthesghost
08-02-2012, 04:30 AM
Actually you left out the message that most people were responding which was:



(Bolding is mine)

IMO, there's a big difference between saying most people (or even just some) routinely get in 8 dates a month and telling a particular poster that you had trouble taking their message seriously (i.e., You're being sarcastic, right?") and deciding that they are completely not interested in ever having a relationship if they "can't be bothered" to date someone 8 times in a month.

That was both personal and a pretty broad claim so you shouldn't be surprised that people reacted strongly to it.this is what I was responding to
Seriously? When do these people do things like work? Maybe I'm the weird one -- I probably am -- but I can't imagine having time for eight dates in one month.context context context!

A week has 168 hours in it. 168 hours! But apparently dating takes most FSU posters over 64 hrs each date because there couldn't possibly be 40 hours left for a full time job if you go on two whole dates in one teeny tiny little week. :lol:

It's one thing to say two dates in one week sounds like a lot. It's another to claim that in your wildest dreams you couldn't possibly imagine how you could possibly fit both 40 hrs of work and 2 hours of dating into one tiny 168 hr week. Even rereading it, I suspect wylie was joking.

TheGirlCanSkate
08-02-2012, 05:53 AM
If you have investigation skills, they should be used before sleeping with someone.

For some people sex is just sex. I get that. I respect that people know what they want.

But for others (who are slightly obsessive (myself included)), it's just better to know all you can before you are mentally and physically involved. So google helps.

But hey, I learned that before 30.... and I thought I was a slow learner.

aftershocks
08-02-2012, 06:15 AM
Unbelievable thread. No amount of creative imagination coulda thunk this up. Stand-up comics could mine a lot of excellent material in here, not to mention "lesser gays."

I notice you mentioned SceneIt(DoneIt) something about having been married for a long while (and recently divorced? -- forgive me that I don't have the time or energy to go back and check what you said exactly). But just the fact you were out of the single dating scene for a long time could be why you seem to be taking this so hard, and why perhaps you got involved too quickly with someone that is not right for you.

Perhaps it's better to stop trying to figure out the guy's motivations or what happened because I doubt there are any definitive answers outside of yourself. Like Aussie Willy and some others have suggested, try working on developing a relationship with yourself, your true self. Working on getting to really know yourself is actually harder than attempting to understand someone else's false personality.

Or, you can just keep coming here to spend more time kickin' it with all us "lesser gays," as coined by magnolia.

Aussie Willy
08-02-2012, 06:30 AM
Perhaps it's better to stop trying to figure out the guy's motivations or what happened because I doubt there are any definitive answers outside of yourself. Like Aussie Willy and some others have suggested, try working on developing a relationship with yourself, your true self. Working on getting to really know yourself is actually harder than attempting to understand someone else's false personality.

Very good point. Sometimes we invest too much energy in wondering why things went wrong or trying to understand the other person.

It is about learning how we respond to things and understanding that. And putting things into perspective. When a person can do that then there is the opportunity to handle situations much better.

For some of us who have been single most of our lives, that is what we do. Not everyone finds themselves in a relationship, so you have to learn to be self-reliant and develop your life around that.

magnolia
08-02-2012, 07:52 AM
Or, you can just keep coming here to spend more time kickin' it with all us "lesser gays," as coined by magnolia.

Jesus aftershocks, I hope you are just taking the micky out of a terminology I accidentally invented, because if you aren't, that's a very serious confession to make. Does your wife suspect at all? And there are other posters here like you?? I always felt there is a great representation of the gay population here, but I never assumed they would be married.

aftershocks
08-02-2012, 09:16 AM
:eek: / :rofl: ... "taking the mickey out" is an apt expression, but not one I regularly hear. I see it is British slang for "taking the piss out." :lol: No, I just wanted to be sure to give you credit for your "accidental invention."

Perhaps finding more enlightening reading material than "The Rules," might be helpful for you magnolia, or maybe you might gain from following some of the advice offered for SceneIt. Or not.

Good luck, btw.

Some reading suggestions:
Eckhart Tolle
Gurdjieff
The Kybalion
Malidoma Some

or maybe just some fun reads like Nora Roberts/ JD Robb :P