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Vagabond
08-01-2012, 04:06 PM
Hold on, folks! I didnt meet him through AFF, I actually met him through a divorce support group on Meetups, like someone here suggested above. I would NEVER want to meet a man on AFF! That is more for easy sex. I searched on the internet and people's comments about the site say they are 10 times more likely to get laid by meeting someone through AFF. That would explain why he never had much time for me, he was out getting it on with others.

Something told me to check on there just to see if he's the sleaze bag I'm thinking he turned out to be. And he was! Joke is on me.

Ohhh.... You mean you engaged in a bit of cyber-stalking because you still haven't taken the advice everyone here except for magnolia has been giving you?

:duh:

Well, in that case, at least you know what he's looking for now, and it obviously doesn't include you. Now, forget about him!

SceneIt
08-01-2012, 04:07 PM
... You need to get your bearings and grow your sea legs, the dating world has changed quite a bit since the last time you were in it. ...

How has the dating world changed? Don't people still meet, date, fall in love ? That couldn't have changed much, could it?

SceneIt
08-01-2012, 04:10 PM
Ohhh.... You mean you engaged in a bit of cyber-stalking because you still haven't taken the advice everyone here except for magnolia has been giving you?

:duh:

Well, in that case, at least you know what he's looking for now, and it obviously doesn't include you. Now, forget about him!

I also found a MySpace page where he is pictured -- get this -- wearing a ring on his left ring finger! Granted, he hadn't visited the page since December of 09.

I should have cyberstalked earlier - would have saved me a lot of heartache.

The reason for my cyberstalking now, to assure myself that he wasn't the man I thought he was.

And I will forget about him.

milanessa
08-01-2012, 04:12 PM
Ohhh.... You mean you engaged in a bit of cyber-stalking because you still haven't taken the advice everyone here except for magnolia has been giving you?

:duh:

Well, in that case, at least you know what he's looking for now, and it obviously doesn't include you. Now, forget about him!

I'm not sure I'd call it cyber stalking. These days technology just makes it a bit easier to get info about someone - seems prudent to me as long as you use the info you got, SceneIt. He's not worth your time.

magnolia
08-01-2012, 04:13 PM
If being gay is neutral to you, then why do you use the word "perverted" when discussing gays? I don't think you've shown that you don't care about "bearding", you've made it your business. Are you so gorgeous or so wonderful that all the guys, gay & straight, want to be with you?

I think you need to come into the 21st century. A lot of men are now metrosexual, have you ever heard of that? Some of them are older men who have changed over the years because they actually have brains between their ears. They have no problem with displaying the male & female characteristics of their personalities, & if that makes some people view them as gay, they don't give a sh*t.

I'm not sure you really believe all this crap you've been spouting. But it sure has gotten you a lot of attention, hasn't it?

You clearly don't have great reading comprehension skills if you misread what I wrote. Being gay in itself is nothing perverted. If you're gay, you're just gay. If you talk to someone about going to a nudist beach on a first date, whether the beach is for straights or for gays, that's perverse behavior, if you ask me. But I guess that's just me then. Different strokes for different folks.:blah:

milanessa
08-01-2012, 04:15 PM
How has the dating world changed? Don't people still meet, date, fall in love ? That couldn't have changed much, could it?

It's changed in the way people meet each other. Do you work or volunteer or do something that brings you into contact with others?

PrincessLeppard
08-01-2012, 04:20 PM
I would like to engage in some consensual bearding arrangements. :saint:

Southpaw
08-01-2012, 04:20 PM
How has the dating world changed? Don't people still meet, date, fall in love ? That couldn't have changed much, could it?

The Interwebz has created an all you can eat buffet that makes it very very easy for people to eat many different dishes for the price of one.

And at your age, the divorced dudes are now enjoying the buffet that didn't exist 30 years ago.

Bottom line...Stay off of Adult Friend Finder if you're not interested in being a soup toureen.

magnolia
08-01-2012, 04:21 PM
Well, SceneIt, sorry for suggeting the closet gay theory to you, and I am glad you are finding evidence that he was just a straight-forward sleaze bag (excuse the pun). You are much braver than me to stay in the dating scene (if that is what you are going to do). Good luck!

chipso1
08-01-2012, 04:25 PM
And I will forget about him.

Haven't we heard this before? You clearly aren't taking any of the advice that everyone but magnolia is giving. :wall:

Best of luck to you!

Karina1974
08-01-2012, 04:30 PM
I'm going to. It would be nice, however, to have someone to go out on a date with, out to dinner, enjoy the summer, etc. I have girlfriends, but it would have been nice to have a sane male friend to do things with sometimes.

See, IMO you need to lose this idea that you have to have a guy around in order to enjoy going out and doing stuff. You gotta break out of that mindset - it's antiquated, it kills a person's self-confidence instead of fosters it, and it's one of those things that sets women up for getting into relationships with a guy (any guy!) and winding up miserable when he turns out to be completely wrong for them, like this guy you've been writing about.

PDilemma
08-01-2012, 04:42 PM
In fact, in some social circles, a once a week date is the complete norm and anything more is considered "moving too fast too soon." And sometimes things come up so the once a week date is an every other week date. Yet these people have plenty of relationships and eventually marry so I don't think you can say they aren't interested in a relationship.

Exactly. Everyone's circumstances are different. My second date with my husband was an entire month after the first. Not because neither of us was interested. He was working two jobs which included Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights and I was teaching English full time and in the middle of competitive speech season which meant evenings at school and six to eight hours on Saturday at a meet. We also lived 25 miles apart. After speech ended, a month after our first date, the spring play that I was directing began. We managed to see each other about twice a month until summer. The norm was once a week the following fall and not more than that during the school year until we were engaged and evenings consisted of me making dinner and grading papers at his house instead of my own. Somehow, even though people in this thread seem to think it impossible, we ended up engaged after a year and half.

milanessa
08-01-2012, 04:55 PM
Exactly. Everyone's circumstances are different. My second date with my husband was an entire month after the first. Not because neither of us was interested. He was working two jobs which included Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights and I was teaching English full time and in the middle of competitive speech season which meant evenings at school and six to eight hours on Saturday at a meet. We also lived 25 miles apart. After speech ended, a month after our first date, the spring play that I was directing began. We managed to see each other about twice a month until summer. The norm was once a week the following fall and not more than that during the school year until we were engaged and evenings consisted of me making dinner and grading papers at his house instead of my own. Somehow, even though people in this thread seem to think it impossible, we ended up engaged after a year and half.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's personal circumstances are different but we're talking generalities here. No one said the dates had to be with the same person but lots of people are assuming that.

antmanb
08-01-2012, 05:05 PM
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's personal circumstances are different but we're talking generalities here. No one said the dates had to be with the same person but lots of people are assuming that.

But then if everyone's circumstances are different, then there's no point in making arbitrary rules like 8 dates in a month is nothing, and if you're not having 8 dates a month then you're not really looking for a relationship, because that's just not true, and the only reason it came up was because people questioned it.

berthesghost
08-01-2012, 05:05 PM
Exactly. Everyone's circumstances are different. abso-effing-lutely! One size never fits all.
Somehow, even though people in this thread seem to think it impossible, we ended up engaged after a year and half.I missed the stampeed of people who said it was"impossible"! People are sooo sensitive. There are women who have babies up into their 60s. It is possible. But denying that most women have babies in their 20s and 30s, well, then please be my guest. If I tell my tale of the guy I dated for months who turned out to be a commitmentphobe, does my one personal example then cancel out yours. :lol: Anyway, thanks for the advice to SceneIt. I'm sure this guy and her will be married soon if only she keeps texting him. Afterall, you've proven that if one wants to be married, all it takes is perseverance! :lol:
It worked for you. It didn't for her. Every "case" is different.
But then if everyone's circumstances are different, then there's no point in making arbitrary rules like 8 dates in a month is nothing, and if you're not having 8 dates a month then you're not really looking for a relationship, because that's just not true, and the only reason it came up was because people questioned it.Rules is your word. Stop shoving your interpretations down people throats as their own ideas.