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berthesghost
08-01-2012, 02:16 PM
Greece for the gold! Those nudist Olympians!

SceneIt
08-01-2012, 02:34 PM
This thread has downright become mean and nasty with respect to magnolia.

And for those who make fun of how naive I am at 50, please be aware that I haven't been out in the dating world for over 26 years. My marriage ended last summer. So I'm a born-again dater. This is like a new world to me. Even when I dated way back when, I've never had my heart broken like this.

And from now on, I'm not going to date someone so much younger than me who just wants to hit it and quit it.

I almost sent him another text last night about the Olympic event with Michael Phelps, which he was interested in, but I thought about the advice in this thread, and erased it. So thanks again, FSU, for some helpful tips and advice.

canbelto
08-01-2012, 02:52 PM
I'm late to this thread but SceneIt, a guy who is interested i you AS A PERSON will not cancel dates or make them so rare. He won't be late for appointments. He will always find time no matter how busy he is to talk to you, even if it's for a few minutes. He will grab your hand at the movie theater. He will laugh at your jokes, even if it's the 10th time hearing them. He will drive you to the beach just because you want to go. I do this all for my ~friends~. You deserve better.

Karina1974
08-01-2012, 02:59 PM
And for those who make fun of how naive I am at 50, please be aware that I haven't been out in the dating world for over 26 years. My marriage ended last summer. So I'm a born-again dater. This is like a new world to me. Even when I dated way back when, I've never had my heart broken like this.


I would suggest that you take some considerable time to figure out who "you" are, not in relation to anyone else (like a guy), but in relation to yourself. You've spent half of your life "with" someone else, living your life in combination with someone else's... put the focus squarely on yourself and developing who you are and want to be at this stage of your life, instead of jumping into another relationship. Don't be one of those women who "has to" be in a relationship - who knows, maybe you'll find you prefer being single and having your life all to yourself. There are definite advantages to that.

SceneIt
08-01-2012, 03:06 PM
I would suggest that you take some considerable time to figure out who "you" are, not in relation to anyone else (like a guy), but in relation to yourself. You've spent half of your life "with" someone else, living your life in combination with someone else's... put the focus squarely on yourself and developing who you are and want to be at this stage of your life, instead of jumping into another relationship. Don't be one of those women who "has to" be in a relationship - who knows, maybe you'll find you prefer being single and having your life all to yourself. There are definite advantages to that.

I'm going to. It would be nice, however, to have someone to go out on a date with, out to dinner, enjoy the summer, etc. I have girlfriends, but it would have been nice to have a sane male friend to do things with sometimes.

Oh, one more thing I should say. I found that guy on Adult Friend Finder - I used my rusty investigative skills, narrowed things down and found him! Do you think a man who is serious about finding a good relationship would post on AFF? His profile said he was looking for discreet relationships, chat, and emails.

I've come to believe my original conclusion, I've been played!

Nan
08-01-2012, 03:08 PM
His profile said he was looking for discreet relationships, chat, and emails.

My first thought is that it sounds like he's hiding something, but check with magnolia.

genevieve
08-01-2012, 03:13 PM
Oh, one more thing I should say. I found that guy on Adult Friend Finder - I used my rusty investigative skills, narrowed things down and found him! Do you think a man who is serious about finding a good relationship would post on AFF? His profile said he was looking for discreet relationships, ]chat, and emails.
oh dear.....he's not gay, he's most likely MARRIED. :lol: He made it clear up front he wasn't looking for a lot of face to face (or body to body) time.

good for you for resisting the urge to contact him again last night. stick with that.

allezfred
08-01-2012, 03:23 PM
I almost sent him another text last night about the Olympic event with Michael Phelps, which he was interested in, but I thought about the advice in this thread, and erased it.


My first thought is that it sounds like he's hiding something, but check with magnolia.

He probably has the hots for Michael Phelps.

milanessa
08-01-2012, 03:30 PM
oh dear.....he's not gay, he's most likely MARRIED.

good for you for resisting the urge to contact him again last night. stick with that.

I suggested that early in this thread but SceneIt said she'd been to his place and didn't think so. However, it's not unheard of for a married person to maintain a little "love nest". I'd bet on married or in a long term relationship.

purple skates
08-01-2012, 03:39 PM
The "discreet relationships" is definitely one giant red flag, SceneIt. That means they're unavailable (for whatever reasons) for a normal relationship. You owe it to yourself to move on and find someone who is willing to be an active member in a partnership.

Badams
08-01-2012, 03:41 PM
I almost sent him another text last night about the Olympic event with Michael Phelps, which he was interested in, but I thought about the advice in this thread, and erased it. So thanks again, FSU, for some helpful tips and advice.

My advice to you is to erase his number and info from your phone. Then the temptation to text him or call him is gone.

Southpaw
08-01-2012, 03:50 PM
Oh, one more thing I should say. I found that guy on Adult Friend Finder - I used my rusty investigative skills, narrowed things down and found him! Do you think a man who is serious about finding a good relationship would post on AFF? His profile said he was looking for discreet relationships, chat, and emails.

I've come to believe my original conclusion, I've been played!

You haven't been played, you just went to the wrong site for companionship if you weren't looking for hitting it and quitting it. AFF is, well, it's probably not right for your needs. Why don't you check out Meetup instead and try some low-pressure social activities? You need to get your bearings and grow your sea legs, the dating world has changed quite a bit since the last time you were in it. Not to mention you're a much different person now than you were 26 years ago, too. This is a bump in the road that's to be expected after a divorce. No harm in trying again, just don't go to AFF for cripes sake.

Vagabond
08-01-2012, 03:51 PM
I found that guy on Adult Friend Finder - I used my rusty investigative skills, narrowed things down and found him! Do you think a man who is serious about finding a good relationship would post on AFF? His profile said he was looking for discreet relationships, chat, and emails.

Wait. What?

I'm not familiar with the site, but if he said he was looking for discreet relationships, chat, and emails, why would you ever expect anything more than what you got from him, namely a discreet relationship, chat, and emails?

I'd say he's a man of his word, no more and no less, and you (still) refuse to take him for what he is. :shuffle:

taf2002
08-01-2012, 03:52 PM
Dear succubus, who is bearding for a lesser gay, no, I was being quite serious when I wrote that I found it quite perverse for someone to blithely recount his experience of going to a nudist beach on a first date. Where I am from, there are topics that one should avoid talking about on first dates. Preferred topics would be one's non-x-rated hobbies, mutual friends, books/films one has seen... things of this ilk. That he divulged that it was a gay nudist beach he went to made me think that he was not only perverted but gay as well.

I would like to reiterate that being gay, as far as I am concerned, is a neutral term in so far as being heterosexual, a man, a woman, Chinese, American, British, Japanese, and so forth are also neutral terms, though I do not wish to deny that being gay is certainly fraught with difficulties in the heterosexual-dominated society that we live in, just as it is difficult to live as a woman in a patriarchical society, or ethnic minorities to live amongst other dominant ethnic groups.

Also, although I personally cannot see myself offer my bearding services to anyone, I see it as being none of my business if two consenting adults decide to engage in consensual bearding arrangements.

If being gay is neutral to you, then why do you use the word "perverted" when discussing gays? I don't think you've shown that you don't care about "bearding", you've made it your business. Are you so gorgeous or so wonderful that all the guys, gay & straight, want to be with you?

I think you need to come into the 21st century. A lot of men are now metrosexual, have you ever heard of that? Some of them are older men who have changed over the years because they actually have brains between their ears. They have no problem with displaying the male & female characteristics of their personalities, & if that makes some people view them as gay, they don't give a sh*t.

I'm not sure you really believe all this crap you've been spouting. But it sure has gotten you a lot of attention, hasn't it?

SceneIt
08-01-2012, 04:03 PM
Wait. What?

I'm not familiar with the site, but if he said he was looking for discreet relationships, chat, and emails, why would you ever expect anything more than what you got from him, namely a discreet relationship, chat, and emails?

I'd say he's a man of his word, no more and no less, and you (still) refuse to take him for what he is. :shuffle:

Hold on, folks! I didnt meet him through AFF, I actually met him through a divorce support group on Meetups, like someone here suggested above. I would NEVER want to meet a man on AFF! That is more for easy sex. I searched on the internet and people's comments about the site say they are 10 times more likely to get laid by meeting someone through AFF. That would explain why he never had much time for me, he was out getting it on with others.

Something told me to check on there just to see if he's the sleaze bag I'm thinking he turned out to be. And he was! Joke is on me.