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MacMadame
07-31-2012, 06:30 PM
I've known people who dated seriously for YEARS before moving to the next level. So I'm somewhat :eek: at the idea that 5 months and 8 dates is a long time.

Wyliefan
07-31-2012, 06:46 PM
You're being sarcastic right? If not, and you really can't be bothered to share dinner, lunch or even coffee once or twice a week with someone else, I'd have to say you're not "weird" but just completely uninterested in ever having a relationship. To each his own.

:) It's not that I can't be bothered. It's simply that I have a very busy schedule, and so do most of the guys I go out with. Besides our jobs, we both have commitments to family and friends, houses to take care of, etc. We make it work, but usually neither of us has time for eight dates a month.

For instance, the guy I recently started seeing (1) lives more than an hour away, and (2) sometimes has to work weekends. So we get together when we can. You do what you have to do.

numbers123
07-31-2012, 06:51 PM
SceneIt - it appears to me that you do not want advice on a dating dilemma but validation that what you do is or want to do is normal and the correct actions to take with a failed relationship. Harassment is not normal - that is what you are doing when you send him text and emails and phone calls. You are creating the case for him to file harassment charges and to get a protection order. Stalking him to find out who is at his house is not a sane decision and if he does get that protection order actions that will get you arrested.

When you don't get validation, then you move on to the "body issues that he has with you" or he is probably gay, etc. Relationship didn't work & pushing it to work, will not work.

berthesghost
07-31-2012, 06:57 PM
When we first started dating, my husband would sometimes call me on a weeknight at like 11:00 and suggest we meet for a quick drink. Yeah, I'd get an hour less beauty sleep, but it was fun and I got to know him. My ex never would have done such a thing, which is why one's my ex and the other my partner of 12 years.

MacMadame
07-31-2012, 07:01 PM
You're being sarcastic right? If not, and you really can't be bothered to share dinner, lunch or even coffee once or twice a week with someone else, I'd have to say you're not "weird" but just completely uninterested in ever having a relationship. To each his own.
And I'd have to say you are taking your own experiences and assuming they are universal. They are not.

If you are dating someone who lives and works 2 hours away, for example, you can't just casually meet them for coffee in the middle of the week. If you are in working in an industry where 60+ hour work weeks are normal, then it can be very hard to see someone more than every other week. If you travel in your job, your dating life is going to be sporatic with maybe seeing a person 24/7 one weekend and then not seeing them for as long as a month afterwards.

In fact, in some social circles, a once a week date is the complete norm and anything more is considered "moving too fast too soon." And sometimes things come up so the once a week date is an every other week date. Yet these people have plenty of relationships and eventually marry so I don't think you can say they aren't interested in a relationship.

numbers123
07-31-2012, 07:08 PM
When we first started dating, my husband would sometimes call me on a weeknight at like 11:00 and suggest we meet for a quick drink. Yeah, I'd get an hour less beauty sleep, but it was fun and I got to know him. My ex never would have done such a thing, which is why one's my ex and the other my partner of 12 years.

We've been married for 39 years and it was a 3 year relationship build to that marriage proposal.

berthesghost
07-31-2012, 07:12 PM
I don't think there are silly rules like you have to see each other x times a week. To each his own, but yes, every single person I've ever known would think that no more than once a week meeting after several months of dating was moving too slow. Sure, once a week seems fine for the first few months when you're strangers, but if half a year later you're still keeping each other at arms length its time to ask yourself what you're looking for IMHO. I was actually traveling a lot for work at the time which is why we'd make the effort to steal a hr here or there. Like Wylie said, you do what you have to. Or not, and then blame excuses like "he was a hr away". :lol:

Karina1974
07-31-2012, 07:23 PM
I'd have to say you're not "weird" but just completely uninterested in ever having a relationship.

Some of us are like that. :)

genevieve
07-31-2012, 07:32 PM
then why post in any thread related to relationships or dating?

I mean, other than providing endless unintentional entertainment to others, but seriously, if your lens is that relationships are undesirable, I can't see anything that would add value to the conversation.

Anita18
07-31-2012, 08:24 PM
:eek::scream:

5 months was a long time to waste on a non serious "relationship" that was only 8 dates. Most people do 8 dates in 1 month.

:yikes: at the idea of someone who spends half a year with another person and still has no clue. Talk about slow learning curve!
She's met him in person 8 times, on "dates." Presumably she's never seen him burping in his boxers on the couch. If she hasn't reached that level, IMO, where you're both presumably not on your best behavior, you're not in a relationship. :lol: My friend and her hubby have farting and burping contests. I unfortunately cannot fart or burp on command. :lol:

Funny, a lot of people did tell me to dump my fiance when we were first dating because he was moving too slow and obviously not interested in me. Different strokes for different folks. :) Difference is that I did not consider us to be a couple, or what we had a relationship, until he started to stay over weekends and let loose.

succubus
07-31-2012, 08:25 PM
I just have to thank each and every one of you (particularly you 'lesser gays', and you know you're out there!) for giving me the best 65 minutes of reading I've had in years. I had to stop and use the facilities because I was about to teetee in my pants from laughing!

On a serious note, I was a she-body to a lesser gay (I cannot get this nauseating phrase out of my head :rofl:) for about a year and it was one of the happiest, most blessed times of my life. He was still working out his sexuality and thankfully came to understand what made him happy, we had a sweet year having fun together, and now we are each married to beautiful men while still loving each other madly.

Thank god he wasn't part of the evil million-member cult of theatre-loving queenie types trying to sucker us poor old straight ladies into a mock marriage! :scream:

VALuvsMKwan
07-31-2012, 08:32 PM
Thank god he wasn't part of the evil million-member cult of theatre-loving queenie types trying to sucker us poor old straight ladies into a mock marriage! :scream:

Oh, but how do you know? He's probably a member on the downlow. :blocjudge :sekret:

milanessa
07-31-2012, 09:26 PM
My friend and her hubby have farting and burping contests. I unfortunately cannot fart or burp on command. :lol:



Different strokes, indeed. Yech.

Laney
07-31-2012, 10:03 PM
This thread is so strange I canīt believe itīs real! But thanks for lots of :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rof l:
Let all of you find the perfect person, gay or not, and have a happy life in a great relationship. And donīt forget itīs love not war! :P

allezfred
07-31-2012, 10:16 PM
And he might be gay, you never know, and I am never going to find that out.

You might if you grew a penis, but that might be taking things too far. ;)