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heckles
07-27-2012, 09:28 PM
If I had to say one good thing about him, it was that when I talked to him, he really listened.

Predictably, you finally scrape up something redeeming about Monsieur Magick. You do realize that there are many males with the same good traits you've listed here, and who won't treat you poorly, yes?


He spoke intelligently.

Yeah, because it takes a Rhodes Scholar to spew clichés that you can find in the New Age section at your local Barnes & Noble.


I think this will be a learning experience for me.

Great, what have you learned from this, and how do you plan to apply that knowledge?

leesaleesa
07-27-2012, 10:27 PM
Originally Posted by magnolia
bek, I think you have the profile of someone who might unknowingly date a closeted gay.

I read Bek's profile and agree. Definitely at risk to become a lady-body. It's not all bad, though, since you can obtain a PhD through having gay sex. Being a bit academically lazy and needing a resume bump, I just may try it myself.

overedge
07-27-2012, 11:19 PM
If I had to say one good thing about him, it was that when I talked to him, he really listened. He'd remember things that I had forgotten I talked to him about. He would ask questions that made me stop and think about what I was saying. He spoke intelligently. Even though I was a bit older than he, he seemed to be the more mature.

The behavior you've described isn't mature at all. He also didn't seem like a particularly good listener when you told him things he didn't want to hear.

It's no reflection on you if he didn't really have any redeeming qualities. Write him off as a learning experience and move on.

vesperholly
07-29-2012, 11:16 AM
michiruwater has the profile of someone who might unknowingly date a closet gay :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

michiruwater
07-29-2012, 02:53 PM
I'm guessing that's my rep level? :lol:

Vagabond
07-29-2012, 03:13 PM
It is now. Before, it was that were having an affair with Zhulin. :shuffle:

NinjaTurtles
07-29-2012, 04:06 PM
I'm guessing that's my rep level? :lol:

Well it kind of fits with your username, Haruka being Michiru's "cousin" and all... ;)

michiruwater
07-29-2012, 04:47 PM
I don't know what you're talking about, they were CLEARLY cousins... :shuffle:

Theatregirl1122
07-29-2012, 08:51 PM
I don't know what you're talking about, they were CLEARLY cousins... :shuffle:

They were just close, right?

michiruwater
07-29-2012, 09:53 PM
Yeah, exactly. Like, super, super, super :shuffle: close cousins...

SceneIt
07-29-2012, 10:39 PM
Okay, you all are gonna think I'm crazy, but I broke down and texted him today. No response. What the hell was I thinking?

Question: Can someone block all texts/emails they receive from you without your knowing? Or do they bounce back if they are blocked?

I'm meeting this other guy I've met online this week. I'm thinking that maybe if I meet someone else I will get over this other one.

Why do I feel the need to have someone of the opposite sex to hang out with?

michiruwater
07-29-2012, 10:45 PM
We all have moments of weakness. Just don't respond if he does. You know better than that.

If he's blocked you you won't know. It does not bounce back.

I've never found that going on dates with other people helps a person get over someone else, and I definitely don't think it's fair to the person you'd go on a date with if your primary reason for the date is to avoid thinking about someone else. The only thing that helps someone get over another person is time, which sucks, but it's always also been a comfort to me. No matter what, if I give it enough time, it will eventually fade or disappear.

And that last question is something only you can answer, but it is a very important question. I know many people, including two immediate family members and one former best friend, who were completely unable to find an identity for themselves outside of a relationship with a member of the opposite sex - and it seemed less to matter who that person was than that they had one there. They are three of the least happy and least self-fulfilled people I know.

SceneIt
07-29-2012, 10:54 PM
We all have moments of weakness. Just don't respond if he does. You know better than that.

If he's blocked you you won't know. It does not bounce back.

I've never found that going on dates with other people helps a person get over someone else, and I definitely don't think it's fair to the person you'd go on a date with if your primary reason for the date is to avoid thinking about someone else. The only thing that helps someone get over another person is time, which sucks, but it's always also been a comfort to me. No matter what, if I give it enough time, it will eventually fade or disappear.

And that last question is something only you can answer, but it is a very important question. I know many people, including two immediate family members and one former best friend, who were completely unable to find an identity for themselves outside of a relationship with a member of the opposite sex - and it seemed less to matter who that person was than that they had one there. They are three of the least happy and least self-fulfilled people I know.

I think he's done with me, seriously. I doubt he will text back. I just had to explain something I said to him on that day we had all the texts going back and forth. I think I was hoping for some response, but nothing at all.

I have been going out and making attempts to make new friends and socialize more, trying to get on with my life, but I feel like I'm going through the motions. I'm having fun, but then my mind turns back to this guy, this great guy who I misunderstood and who got away. He probably doesnt give me a second thought and thinks I'm crazy. I've never over texted him or anything like that, but he seemed to really dislike me the last time we texted. I don't even know what went wrong. .

I am almost tempted to drive by his place and park and see if he's seeing someone else, but I'm afraid I would get caught and I just dont have the time. I think it would help me if I saw with my own eyes of him with other women, which everyone thinks he was dating many women in the same fashion, just as "casual" with no seriousness. He denies EVER seeing anyone while he was with me. But then he also said in the past that he had a high sex drive, so if he were only seeing me couple times a month, where was he satisfying this high drive?

Anita18
07-29-2012, 11:07 PM
I think he's done with me, seriously. I doubt he will text back. I just had to explain something I said to him on that day we had all the texts going back and forth. I think I was hoping for some response, but nothing at all.

I have been going out and making attempts to make new friends and socialize more, trying to get on with my life, but I feel like I'm going through the motions. I'm having fun, but then my mind turns back to this guy, this great guy who I misunderstood and who got away. He probably doesnt give me a second thought and thinks I'm crazy. I've never over texted him or anything like that, but he seemed to really dislike me the last time we texted. I don't even know what went wrong. .

I am almost tempted to drive by his place and park and see if he's seeing someone else, but I'm afraid I would get caught and I just dont have the time. I think it would help me if I saw with my own eyes of him with other women, which everyone thinks he was dating many women in the same fashion, just as "casual" with no seriousness. He denies EVER seeing anyone while he was with me. But then he also said in the past that he had a high sex drive, so if he were only seeing me couple times a month, where was he satisfying this high drive?
SceneIt, if a friend or a sister (I don't know if you have one) came to you with this dilemma, what would you tell them?

Just listen to yourself. Just stop and listen to what you're saying.

You went out on 8 dates, over 5 months. You had no formal discussions over exclusivity or long-term relationship plans during this time, even though you had sex. As my own sister found out, you need to have these discussions before assuming exclusivity. You did not have a relationship. He owes you nothing.

But stalking him outside his house to see if he's dating someone else (how could you tell anyway, if they were out at dinner?) owes you a restraining order. :o

michiruwater
07-29-2012, 11:09 PM
Driving by his place to see if he's with someone else after he already clearly dumped you is a totally batshit stalker move. I'm sorry, there's no other way to put it and there is no one who would say differently. That is not something you do, even if you're tempted.

You seriously need to stop worrying and thinking about him. I know it's hard but you're in a super, super unhealthy place. You barely knew this guy. I know it feels differently, but you only saw him a little more than a half dozen times in a relatively large span of time. I can't say if he was a great guy or not, but you need to stop. Get a counselor if you have to so you have a neutral source to talk to in real life. This needs to stop. Now.

You're just making excuse after excuse. There is no excuse for your unhealthy dependence upon someone whom you barely dated, were not in a serious relationship with, and who dumped you in a fairly clear fashion. There is no reason whatsoever for you to be so emotionally invested in this guy. You need to focus on you at this point and how you can get over this sort of cycle and not have this happen again. Again, I seriously suggest a counselor.

And stop making excuses to try to justify your behavior or continued infatuation with this guy. There is no justifying it. Period.