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kittyjake5
07-27-2012, 05:51 PM
(snip)


Oh, best thing about all this, was the fact that I lost around 10 pounds effortlessly worrying about this guy. Now that he's gone, I hope they don't come back.

There you go, so something good came out of a bad situation......

heckles
07-27-2012, 05:55 PM
Oh, best thing about all this, was the fact that I lost around 10 pounds effortlessly worrying about this guy.

Congrats, now drop the worthless 180 pounds of Seņor Spoonbender.

nubka
07-27-2012, 06:13 PM
Yes, heaven forbid people stand up to homophobia, over and over :rolleyes:

Especially when it's the same people repeating themselves page after page. :scream:

PDilemma
07-27-2012, 06:22 PM
I know lots of you mentioned that I never had a relationship with this guy but I felt I did. It went on slowly for 5 months. For me, it was a buildup of anticipation and I may have let my imagination carry me into thinking it was more than it was. For him, he must not have even given me much thoughts between dates. Next time I will know that when I go out with a guy, there should be more interest in the very beginning stages as opposed to the end.

Oh, best thing about all this, was the fact that I lost around 10 pounds effortlessly worrying about this guy. Now that he's gone, I hope they don't come back.

SceneIt--"anticipation" is not a relationship. That is a trap I think women tend to let themselves fall into, though. I know a woman (my sister-in-law actually) who does it every time she meets someone. She met a friend of a friend while out of state once and exchanged two emails with him and told me where she thought they would live after they got married. "Anticipation" is as good a word for explaining that thought pattern as any. But it is not productive and a therapist once told her that thinking that way is why she makes a mess of any attempt at a relationship and why she emotionally commits herself to someone long before she should and usually when that commitment is not reciprocated. Her response to that was to dump the therapist and keep doing what she's doing. It hasn't worked for her yet. Don't go down that road.

Relationships that are real and that are going to last for the long haul are not a few dates--and eight dates in five months is really just a few--they are about the day to day. To me one sure sign of a real and committed relationship means that he is the first one you call when something bad or something good happens and you are the first one he calls. I'm guessing that was not the case in the five months you sometimes saw this man.

You can do better and you deserve better.

hydro
07-27-2012, 06:30 PM
Especially when it's the same people repeating themselves page after page. :scream:

You're free to add your homophobic opinions to thread, nubka.

skfan
07-27-2012, 06:43 PM
Yet I think there is more to say. For ex: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_Japan

Once I found out all of this was going down in Japan vs the USA where even the president Publicly supports gay marriage, the likelihood of magnolia being right went up IMO. I still :lol: at her "research" methods, but it is interesting to compare social views on homosexuality in various parts of the world.


This. i don't think gay marriage is even close to reality in japan. maintaining the proper appearances is important. how many people have committed suicide over honor here in our own country in its entire history? and when they do, are they more likely to be revered or mocked? has suicide a la seppuku been an institution in our national performing arts?

magnolia realized the strategy she chose didn't suit her, didn't make her feel good. and i think it's commendable that she stopped doing that on her own.

people have every right to express unhappiness with magnolia's action, but i have to think if i were a gay person in japan right now, i'd be grateful for people who recognize that homophobia is wrong even if those people aren't all 100% homophobia-free themselves. if magnolia casts a vote in a way that helps gay people in japan experience less discrimination in their daily lives, i think that's a step in the right direction, even if in her personal life she has issues she's still working through in terms of how to deal with men who might or might not be gay.

GarrAarghHrumph
07-27-2012, 06:46 PM
...Oh, best thing about all this, was the fact that I lost around 10 pounds effortlessly worrying about this guy. Now that he's gone, I hope they don't come back.

At least you got something good out of it! ;)

Southpaw
07-27-2012, 06:56 PM
I know a woman (my sister-in-law actually)

Can you bring your SIL to the keyboard? I think she'd be a fine addition to this thread.

PDilemma
07-27-2012, 07:04 PM
Can you bring your SIL to the keyboard? I think she'd be a fine addition to this thread.

:rofl:

Probably. She has closet gay theories, too. The "closeted gay men" she knows are all ones who have rejected her in spite of her blatantly throwing herself at them for months on end. And planning her weddings to them.

Woman has planned more weddings in her head than anyone you'll ever meet.

berthesghost
07-27-2012, 07:19 PM
Can you bring your SIL to the keyboard? I think she'd be a fine addition to this thread.I'm more scared about what she'll take away from it. I image her reading SceneIt's cautionary tale and then saying gleefully "12 step meetings are a good place to meet guys? oooh, I'm gonna try that!" :lol:

PDilemma
07-27-2012, 07:23 PM
I'm more scared about what she'll take away from it. I image her reading SceneIt's cautionary tale and then saying gleefully "12 step meetings are a good place to meet guys? oooh, I'm gonna try that!" :lol:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

If I had been eating or drinking, you would owe me a keyboard.

That is precisely what she would take from this. She did, I kid you not, go to Colorado Springs in the middle of the wild fires because she determined that the universe was telling her to go there and she would meet and marry a firefighter.

Anita18
07-27-2012, 08:36 PM
I know lots of you mentioned that I never had a relationship with this guy but I felt I did. It went on slowly for 5 months. For me, it was a buildup of anticipation and I may have let my imagination carry me into thinking it was more than it was. For him, he must not have even given me much thoughts between dates. Next time I will know that when I go out with a guy, there should be more interest in the very beginning stages as opposed to the end.

Oh, best thing about all this, was the fact that I lost around 10 pounds effortlessly worrying about this guy. Now that he's gone, I hope they don't come back.
Like PDilemma said (and what came into my mind before I even read her reply), anticipation is not a relationship.

As I mentioned, when I first dated my fiance it was very very casual. We talked once a week, saw each other once every few weeks. Many people actually advised me to dump him because he showed what they thought was no interest. But I enjoyed spending time with him, and besides, he kept on asking me out. :lol: But most importantly, I wasn't banking on a serious relationship with him right away. At the time, I even told my friend that I wasn't sure if he was dating other women, and I actually didn't care. Things progressed naturally from there - we eventually started to spend more time together and now we live together in a small 500 sq ft studio apartment. So there is no shortage of facetime now! :lol:

There's a give and take to how relationships start. If I'd dumped him early on for not showing enough interest, I'd have missed out on the most supportive relationship I've ever had. But to make that approach successful, I had to be realistic about where we were at that moment. Up until he started staying over the weekends, I considered us only dating. I couldn't worry if he was going to call or whether I was on his mind 24/7. It was too soon for that.

In the same vein, it's okay to determine you need a sign of strong interest at first, but even so, not all men are willing to jump from dating to serious long-term relationship right away. It's always good to take a step back and see where you really are at that moment.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

If I had been eating or drinking, you would owe me a keyboard.

That is precisely what she would take from this. She did, I kid you not, go to Colorado Springs in the middle of the wild fires because she determined that the universe was telling her to go there and she would meet and marry a firefighter.
ZOMG that is downright certifiable. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

heckles
07-27-2012, 08:57 PM
If I'd dumped him early on for not showing enough interest, I'd have missed out on the most supportive relationship I've ever had. But to make that approach successful, I had to be realistic about where we were at that moment.

If your boyfriend is a stable and straightforward person, he might have been worth the slow-build. Everything SceneIt tells us about "her" guy indicates that he's a complete waste of sperm.

Notice that we're on the 15th page of this thread and SceneIt herself hasn't had anything good to say about him. We've already told her that he's a dweeb, yet she keeps posting more and more evidence this is the case. At this point, the infrequency of their contact is only of peripheral interest. He's a schmuck, regardless of whether she sees him daily or monthly.

SceneIt
07-27-2012, 09:02 PM
If your boyfriend is a stable and straightforward person, he might have been worth the slow-build. Everything SceneIt tells us about "her" guy indicates that he's a complete waste of sperm.

Notice that we're on the 15th page of this thread and SceneIt herself hasn't had anything good to say about him. We've already told her that he's a dweeb, yet she keeps posting more and more evidence this is the case. At this point, the infrequency of their contact is only of peripheral interest. He's a schmuck, regardless of whether she sees him daily or monthly.

If I had to say one good thing about him, it was that when I talked to him, he really listened. He'd remember things that I had forgotten I talked to him about. He would ask questions that made me stop and think about what I was saying. He spoke intelligently. Even though I was a bit older than he, he seemed to be the more mature of us.

If anything, I think this will be a learning experience for me.

Anita18
07-27-2012, 09:11 PM
If your boyfriend is a stable and straightforward person, he might have been worth the slow-build. Everything SceneIt tells us about "her" guy indicates that he's a complete waste of sperm.

Notice that we're on the 15th page of this thread and SceneIt herself hasn't had anything good to say about him. We've already told her that he's a dweeb, yet she keeps posting more and more evidence this is the case. At this point, the infrequency of their contact is only of peripheral interest. He's a schmuck, regardless of whether she sees him daily or monthly.
Hey, I fully admit that my bf is a dweeb but he's still a nice supportive guy. :lol:


If I had to say one good thing about him, it was that when I talked to him, he really listened. He'd remember things that I had forgotten I talked to him about. He would ask questions that made me stop and think about what I was saying. He spoke intelligently. Even though I was a bit older than he, he seemed to be the more mature of us.

If anything, I think this will be a learning experience for me.
Frankly, "good listener" is one of the most basic requirements for me. :lol: YMMV though. I'm not much of a looker relative to many women in my area (I'm certainly no troll, but this is Los Angeles!), and my mother always joked that my intelligence was intimidating. :lol:

And many intelligent guys aren't emotionally mature comparatively.