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Theatregirl1122
07-27-2012, 12:10 AM
Your profile would indicate that you've been on FSU for 7 years. You have to have figured out by now that a) FSU threads never stay on topic and b) FSU threads aren't a good place to get people to hold your hand while you make stupid mistakes. We're far too blunt, as a group, for that. This thread follows the pattern of a million other FSU threads: 1. OP asks for advice about topic, 2. everyone gives OP advice that she doesn't want to hear, 3. OP provides more details that just convince everyone that their original reaction was correct and question what on earth she's doing, 4. OP gets upset that everyone is not being supportive, 5. the thread gets hijacked.

You really shouldn't be surprised it went down like this. It always goes down like this.

Aussie Willy
07-27-2012, 12:12 AM
Consensus seems to be to DTMFA - in actuality, I've been dumped and I can't understand why. Just because I wanted to get closer to this guy who gave me all this "space" that I never asked for. Drew this out for 5 months, and about 8 dates, several texts, couple long phone calls then prompty cuts off everything about 2 weeks after we had sex. I was not needy, didnt try to call/text him every day, didnt need to know his every whereabouts, thought I was playing it cool.

My experience has been usually the person who gets dumped is the one who has the hardest time dealing with it.

I had a conversation about 10 years ago with a person I had gone out with 20 years ago prior to that. The thing that stuck in my mind, and this is the reason why I decided I really didn't want to resume contact with them, was they said in this particular conversation they never understood why we broke up and what went wrong. And was to me exactly the reason why we did break up. To me that sent out a signal they never really learnt from the experience nor had not analysised in any great depth what the causes of the break up were. On the other hand maybe they were just really forgetful. For me that is the past and something I don't care to revisit.

At the end of the day, it is not about understanding why they are not interested in you, but rather accepting that they are not for whatever reasons, and just moving on from that.

Badams
07-27-2012, 12:12 AM
But is it a lesser gay thread?

Anita18
07-27-2012, 12:13 AM
LETS GET BACK ON TOPIC, PLEASE!

Consensus seems to be to DTMFA - in actuality, I've been dumped and I can't understand why. Just because I wanted to get closer to this guy who gave me all this "space" that I never asked for. Drew this out for 5 months, and about 8 dates, several texts, couple long phone calls then prompty cuts off everything about 2 weeks after we had sex. I was not needy, didnt try to call/text him every day, didnt need to know his every whereabouts, thought I was playing it cool.

This really hurts and I know time will heal all wounds. That is why I came here for support. And my thread gets turned in a gay thread about magnolia's issues.
It's FSU, thread drift is inevitable. :P

At any rate, you don't really have to know "why" a relationship ends to be able to move on. I have my theories as to why my first bf and I broke up, but that's all they are - theories. Months after the breakup we had a heart-to-heart about it and he still wasn't able to explain exactly why we didn't work out. Cause people are complicated and don't always know what they want, let alone being able to communicate that to someone.

My fiance isn't a very friendly or sociable person to the outside eye, and people might wonder what I see in him, but I have my reasons for being with him. He's incredibly patient and supportive of me, and a great partner, even if he isn't the most fun person to hang out with. Sometimes you really have to be with someone for a while to see how they really are, and many times you (or they) realize that a relationship with their current partner isn't what they want. And even if you've been with someone for a while, they can change too.

The simplest (and often most true, IMO) explanation is that you were looking for different things from each other. I think it's best to tuck that thought into your pocket and move forward.

jamesy
07-27-2012, 12:13 AM
I need to hone my gaydar, for safety's sake. Those closeted, lesser gay men are SCARY! :lol:
They might tastefully decorate your house or watch skating with you or some other stereotypical thing. :drama:

Sparks
07-27-2012, 12:13 AM
Okay. I understand you're hurt and probably want support to get over it. I would suggest to NOT befriend his ex or get involved in any group in which she participates. As long as you seek out information, you are not going to heal. Trust me.

VALuvsMKwan
07-27-2012, 12:14 AM
LETS GET BACK ON TOPIC, PLEASE!

Consensus seems to be to DTMFA - in actuality, I've been dumped and I can't understand why. Just because I wanted to get closer to this guy who gave me all this "space" that I never asked for. Drew this out for 5 months, and about 8 dates, several texts, couple long phone calls then prompty cuts off everything about 2 weeks after we had sex. I was not needy, didnt try to call/text him every day, didnt need to know his every whereabouts, thought I was playing it cool.

This really hurts and I know time will heal all wounds. That is why I came here for support. And my thread gets turned in a gay thread about magnolia's issues.

What happened with this "relationship" wasn't the outcome you wanted. Yes, that hurts. There is very much more than likely nothing you can do about it, however - except with how YOU react to it and deal with it via your own actions.

You have been given, in my opinion, a great deal of good, consistent and valuable advice. I suggest you follow it, and will add one more suggestion if you are of a spiritual bent.

Look up the "Serenity Prayer" of St. Francis and, if you like, read it, recite it, meditate on it. It has helped me greatly with issues of acceptance and control - perhaps it will help you as well. :)

Karina1974
07-27-2012, 12:17 AM
I have a feeling there are some gay posters here who are deep in the closet, and I would like to say that I care not if they are gay or not, nor if they are out or not. Just as long as they don't try and deceive someone into entering into a fake relationship, it is none of my business. It is no one's business.

Then why the feck are you even still talking about it? Still trying to convince yourself? :blah::blah::blah: And way to making this thread all about you.

Vagabond
07-27-2012, 12:18 AM
LETS GET BACK ON TOPIC, PLEASE!

Consensus seems to be to DTMFA - in actuality, I've been dumped and I can't understand why. Just because I wanted to get closer to this guy who gave me all this "space" that I never asked for. Drew this out for 5 months, and about 8 dates, several texts, couple long phone calls then prompty cuts off everything about 2 weeks after we had sex. I was not needy, didnt try to call/text him every day, didnt need to know his every whereabouts, thought I was playing it cool.

This really hurts and I know time will heal all wounds. That is why I came here for support. And my thread gets turned in a gay thread about magnolia's issues.

You're right, SceneIt. And I apologize for making light of things. So let's get the thread back to things that really matter:

Panel Discussion on the Olympic Experience with Michelle Kwan, Moderated by Christine Brennan (http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2012/07/26/mpr_news_presents/)

:saint:

SceneIt
07-27-2012, 12:18 AM
Then why the feck are you even still talking about it? Still trying to convince yourself? :blah::blah::blah: And way to making this thread all about you.

Oops, never mind. Thanks.

Anita18
07-27-2012, 12:20 AM
LMAO, this is hilarious.

Time for everyone to take a break? :lol:

SceneIt
07-27-2012, 12:22 AM
LMAO, this is hilarious.

Time for everyone to take a break? :lol:

I did now, and thanks for pointing that out for me.

Theatregirl1122
07-27-2012, 12:23 AM
They might tastefully decorate your house or watch skating with you or some other stereotypical thing. :drama:

My poor best friend. He claims to be gay but he can't decorate, he can't organize a house, he can't dress himself let alone me, he doesn't watch glee... OMG He must be a closet straight! I hope all the gay men in his area have honed their straightdars so they can protect themselves from him! For their safety!

jamesy
07-27-2012, 12:24 AM
LMAO, this is hilarious.
I didn't think any other thread would be able to outcrazy the Jackson one.

Karina1974
07-27-2012, 12:24 AM
Oops, never mind. Thanks.

It's all right. No harm, no foul. :)