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quartz
07-27-2012, 05:25 AM
And be prepared for a long journey. My daughter took us on a 3 year roller coaster ride. I have a niece who had self-injury issues as well, along with OCD, and it took 8 years before it was under control.
My daughter is now studying for a Bachelor degree in nursing, and working at a nursing home. My niece is a social worker specializing in teen behavioral issues and has adopted 2 special needs children. They are fabulous young women, and my heroes.
With support and love, you can help your cousin to achieve a great life and be an inspiration to others.

Twilight1
07-27-2012, 01:08 PM
Usually the best way to solve this issue is to address the stress she is trying to get relief from. In my area, there are support groups for teens/ young adults who are going through this.

The counsellors eventually get the kids to start looking at substituting this behaviour with some kind of artistic outlet. (It could be art, music, writing, etc) They have pretty good success with it.

Like it was pointed out above, it is a long road with a lot of relapses along the way.

fenway2
07-28-2012, 09:28 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin and the situation with her father. I'm so glad she opened up to you. That is a very important first step toward recovery. Many cutters keep the practice hidden and would never dream of opening up to anyone. It's obvious she trusts you dearly and wants help. Those are two things that should help her greatly on her road to recovery.
For the record, my sister was a cutter for over 20 years of her life. I had no idea, none of us did, because she did such a great job of hiding her wounds from everyone. Eventually though she got help and even wrote a book about her struggle and recovery. She even won a literary award for her work. Let me know if you'd like the link to the book and I will post it.
Good luck to your cousin and you.

Kelleys6th
07-29-2012, 03:25 AM
From my memories, I totally agree with rjblue:


It isn't done for attention, it's a stress reliever- diverts the internal pain. It doesn't mean they want to injure themselves, or are suicidal.

I went through this period during my divorce - I was soo angry.....
Therapy helps! A good connection with a therapist is so important. Be honored she revealed this to you, and accept her with unconditional love.

:cat:

Alex Forrest
07-29-2012, 06:58 AM
I do not mean to sound XXXX, but have you seen these scars? Are they for real or is she just trying to cry for attention. I know exactly cutting and stabbing and all that. But there is a total difference between someone who WANTS to do that and IS doing it. I'd demand to see the marks and scars.

Start with that first. She might just be a drama queen crying out for help. Look under the armpits. No one who cuts goes right to their hands or forearms. I think you should investigate first. She's probably just crying for help.

Hedwig
07-29-2012, 07:12 AM
I do not mean to sound XXXX, but have you seen these scars? Are they for real or is she just trying to cry for attention. I know exactly cutting and stabbing and all that. But there is a total difference between someone who WANTS to do that and IS doing it. I'd demand to see the marks and scars.

Start with that first. She might just be a drama queen crying out for help. Look under the armpits. No one who cuts goes right to their hands or forearms. I think you should investigate first. She's probably just crying for help.

I don't agree with your post at all. Even if she is "just" crying for attention she should not be labeled as drama queen. Even if it were the case that she had not cut herself it is a serious issue and shows deep inner trouble and should be treated with concern and respect.


this behaviour is associated with people diagnosed with borderline. It is an illness that is quite difficult to treat and was deemed virtually untreatable until recently when Marsha Lineham devised a therapy that proved to be quite effective.
It will be a scary step for your cousin to seek professional help. And even if she agrees to it it is sometimes difficult to find a good and able counsellor. So I agree with the notion of including a trust-worthy adult who can help with the process of finding the right professional help. If at all possible she should look for someone specialized in treating borderline patients and even better if specialised in dialectical behavior therapy. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_Behavior_Therapy)

l'etoile
07-29-2012, 07:57 AM
(((MikiAndoFan and your cousin))) Hope your cousin gets through soon.

cruisin
07-29-2012, 04:15 PM
I do not mean to sound XXXX, but have you seen these scars? Are they for real or is she just trying to cry for attention. I know exactly cutting and stabbing and all that. But there is a total difference between someone who WANTS to do that and IS doing it. I'd demand to see the marks and scars.

Start with that first. She might just be a drama queen crying out for help. Look under the armpits. No one who cuts goes right to their hands or forearms. I think you should investigate first. She's probably just crying for help.

I agree with Hedwig. Even if this girl is not actually cutting herself, to make these sort of claims, to need attention that much, indicates a very serious problem. This is an illness that is typically done in secret. As others have said, it is a way of feeling physical pain to offset emotional/mental pain. And, if she is not yet, actually, cutting, she may be on the brink. FTR, girls do cut their forearms, I've seen it. It is more common to cut in areas that are less likely to be seen - stomach being very common, but arms do get cut.

MikiAndoFan#1
07-30-2012, 02:48 AM
Eventually though she got help and even wrote a book about her struggle and recovery. She even won a literary award for her work. Let me know if you'd like the link to the book and I will post it.

That would great! Thanks!


I do not mean to sound XXXX, but have you seen these scars? Are they for real or is she just trying to cry for attention. I know exactly cutting and stabbing and all that. But there is a total difference between someone who WANTS to do that and IS doing it. I'd demand to see the marks and scars.

Start with that first. She might just be a drama queen crying out for help. Look under the armpits. No one who cuts goes right to their hands or forearms. I think you should investigate first. She's probably just crying for help.

Yes, I've seen the scars. She has them on her wrists.

Thank you for your support! :) :) :)

Angelskates
07-30-2012, 03:15 AM
I do not mean to sound XXXX, but have you seen these scars? Are they for real or is she just trying to cry for attention. I know exactly cutting and stabbing and all that. But there is a total difference between someone who WANTS to do that and IS doing it. I'd demand to see the marks and scars.

Start with that first. She might just be a drama queen crying out for help. Look under the armpits. No one who cuts goes right to their hands or forearms. I think you should investigate first. She's probably just crying for help.

All self-harm is a cry for help and should be taken seriously.

Your post disgusts me.

(((((MikiAndoFan#1, cousin and family)))))

Kelleys6th
07-30-2012, 04:31 AM
Alex Forrest,
Look under the armpits. No one who cuts goes right to their hands or forearms. I think you should investigate first. She's probably just crying for help

I hate to point this out, but my first serious cutting experience was to my forearms. I wound up with 16 stitches, and lied my way through the ER - doctors, nurses and my family.
Underarm cutting is almost impossible to do because of the difficulty actually doing it - mostly with a straight box cutter razor - and the difficulty of hiding it. Also the result of it would be too painful. Cutting is to get rid of immediate pain, not pain doing it, then more pain recovering from it.
My favorite spot was my upper thighs - Since I never wore bathing suits, and shorts were my outfit for the summer, no one would notice if I cut there. And no one did.

Once again, I would like to stress how important it was for your cousin to tell you Miki fan. I'll keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

:cat:

taf2002
07-30-2012, 01:58 PM
Yes, I've seen the scars. She has them on her wrists.

Thank you for your support! :) :) :)

What support?

MikiAndoFan#1
07-30-2012, 02:27 PM
What support?

Moral support. :)

Hedwig
07-30-2012, 02:39 PM
What support?

I think (hope ;) ) she meant the general support in this thread and not the (IMO) disgusting post from a certain poster.

MikiAndoFan#1
07-30-2012, 02:51 PM
I think (hope ;) ) she meant the general support in this thread and not the (IMO) disgusting post from a certain poster.

That's exactly what I meant. :) I'm a he, by the way. :lol: