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Anita18
07-06-2012, 07:18 PM
This. Not only that but, when was a teller, we were trained to watch out for differences in the handwriting, especially between the name it was made out to and the amount.
When my sister was busy doing various activities in high school, my mom would just sign the check and my sister would fill in the rest. :rofl: Not sure how the bank would handle that, since their handwriting was WAY different!

I think I'll stick with "or" so there isn't any confusion. Leaving it blank was definitely not an option. :shuffle:

Thanks all!

PDilemma
07-06-2012, 07:22 PM
Chances are they already have "yours - mine - and ours" money, so why go with "yours" or "mine" on a check? They may also have a process for the "ours" money.


We've been married three years and still don't have joint checking at all. We have joint savings but didn't have that for almost a full year. Our checking accounts are even at different banks. Too much hassle to change it when employers pay with direct deposit. Now that I am underemployed, I occasionally need money from my husband. He writes a check from his account and I deposit it in mine.

In other words...don't assume.

Angelskates
07-06-2012, 07:22 PM
If she's your friend, I don't understand why you can't just ask her?

numbers123
07-06-2012, 07:49 PM
Also, more and more couples are getting married when they already live together. Chances are they already have "yours - mine - and ours" money, so why go with "yours" or "mine" on a check? They may also have a process for the "ours" money. E.g., in my household, I do all of the banking.

We didn't live together before we were married and it was pre-auto deposit checks (about 40 years ago when you still took the physical paycheck to the bank to cash or deposit :) ), but we had the yours, mine and ours checking accounts. After a while it seemed silly to have all three accounts as we would deposit money into our separate accounts, then have to write a check to put into the shared account (again pre-Internet or on-line banking :) )so we put everything into our joint account. We eventually closed our separate checking accounts

We still have separate savings accounts for our retirement investments and for any money that we "inherited" - my husband's mom died about 14 years ago and my parents gift me with money every year. We do draw out of the inherited monies account to pay for some things.

It's still fairly common in my area to change your name, but again it is not something to be assumed.

Jenny
07-06-2012, 08:26 PM
Hubby and I not only have separate accounts, we have separate banks. :)

But I do see Louis' point, although it's never been a problem. If cheques come addressed to both of us, we've never had any problem depositing it in one of our accounts. I think when it comes to wedding and other personal cheques, banks get that it's likely some harmless gift from a relative. Might be different in the case of large amounts or something written from a business account.

Anita18
07-06-2012, 08:33 PM
If she's your friend, I don't understand why you can't just ask her?
Two weeks before a wedding, I'm sure she has waaay more pressing issues than fielding fairly minor questions from guests. ;)

Angelskates
07-06-2012, 08:46 PM
Two weeks before a wedding, I'm sure she has waaay more pressing issues than fielding fairly minor questions from guests. ;)

:confused: I've never understood this mentality that brides don't have time for others in the days or weeks before their wedding and that *every second* they're thinking about and doing something for their wedding. In my experience, it's a complete myth, so I would call her up, ask if there was anything I could help with and how preparations are going, see if she wants to go for coffee (if I was near, all of the brides-to-be are actually looking for an interruption/break) and then mention that I'm giving her a check and want to know how to address it.

You won't know the answer to your question, or if she has more pressing issues, unless you ask. Do you really believe that your friend doesn't have time to answer your one question?

Anita18
07-06-2012, 09:27 PM
:confused: I've never understood this mentality that brides don't have time for others in the days or weeks before their wedding and that *every second* they're thinking about and doing something for their wedding. In my experience, it's a complete myth, so I would call her up, ask if there was anything I could help with and how preparations are going, see if she wants to go for coffee (if I was near, all of the brides-to-be are actually looking for an interruption/break) and then mention that I'm giving her a check and want to know how to address it.

You won't know the answer to your question, or if she has more pressing issues, unless you ask. Do you really believe that your friend doesn't have time to answer your one question?
I live 350 miles away, so it's very very unlikely that I can do anything to help her or provide with a distractive girls' night out. I've generally got the personality that I won't bother anyone for help anyway. This is just an extension of that. :lol:

From reading other brides' experiences (since I'm planning my own), it gets frustrating when guests have all these fairly minor questions about the wedding day, especially when they have the answers provided somewhere. (At least I found the right address to send the gift to. :P ) This is a fairly general etiquette question.

My fiance's friend is getting married next Sat and asked us if we wanted to come over for a BBQ on the 4th. So I understand that soon-to-be-married couples need a break from wedding stuff. But the thing is, they asked us, we wouldn't have dared to call them so close to the wedding. :lol:

cruisin
07-08-2012, 03:04 PM
The easiest way is to write the check out to "Jane Doe or Jack Smith".

I agree, this is the best way to do it. This way either of them can cash/deposit the check. Be sure to use the word "or" not "and". "Or" requires one signature, "and" will require both.

Ajax
07-09-2012, 07:10 PM
This. Not only that but, when was a teller, we were trained to watch out for differences in the handwriting, especially between the name it was made out to and the amount.

Huh. My roommate gives me blank checks with just the amount and her signature, I fill my name in my own handwriting and deposit it at the ATM. I've never had a check declined at the ATM because of the difference in handwriting.