View Full Version : How come parents don't discipline anymore?

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06-26-2012, 03:04 AM
I teach in a 12 month program, preschool age. New child started in my class today, spent day hitting, running around, talking back and laughing in the teachers' faces. Father came to pick up, when tried to politely express concern about son's behavior, dad's reply was "don't want to hear about it, talk to my wife tomorrow" Father then proceded to yell at school owner about how unprofessional we were to expect his son to behave on first day.

06-26-2012, 03:09 AM
Do you have any questionnaire's on child's normal behavior, expected outcomes of the education, medical history etc. that is taken upon entrance into the school?
It also sounds like the dad isn't willing or hasn't participated much in the child's daily activities. Or that dad was late going somewhere.
It might be a child acting out because of a home situation or a lack of discipline or any number of things.

06-26-2012, 03:55 AM
they fill in a questionnaire for the teacher but it is never looked over by administration. Point is, if your child's teacher is trying to explain what happened during the day, you should listen, this is your child and we are trying to help. Anyway I just needed to vent.

06-26-2012, 04:49 AM
I agree with you on parent should listen. I can see that it is frustrating. I am sorry if I didn't seem sympathetic, I was just wondering is a questionnaire would have been a help to understand what the father was about. It might be the father is unable to discuss or understand his child's behavior. It might be that his wife doesn't let him deal with the child's behavior at home.
I vented plenty about work too - i can relate to the need to vent.

06-26-2012, 06:54 AM
I think parents don't discipline their children anymore for several reasons.
1. Parents are a little too concerned with being friends with their kids. It is difficult to enforce rules, and have logical consequences......much easier to ignore, hope it will go away and do what feels good at the moment. I think there are a couple of things in play here: A. Parents are so busy with work, exes, and what have you, that they spend little actual time with their kids. And it takes time to see what is wanted and needed. And, kids, being kids, want what they want when they want it. It is easier to give than to buck up for the no. It is easier to overlook than to dig in and really see if the homework is completed, or whatever.
B. Parents want their kids to be happy............and (although being happy is wonderful) I think parents have forgotten (or never learned) that happiness comes from rigorous hard work, discipline, completion of tasks....all of which builds self-esteem.

2. The current trend in society that everyone should get a trophy (if they play a sport) everyone should get a treat (even if they didn't pass the test), grades should be left out, and on and on, has robbed kids of the necessity to work hard and achieve.

3. You aren't supposed to say such horrid things as "no" or "because I said so". I know, we hated those growing up. However, they are important tools to be used later in life. Your boss isn't going to cut you slack necessarily.

4. I loved the teacher who spoke at graduation and said that none of the kids were extraordinary. How true.

Oh - and graduations.........Really? Huge party for going from kindergarten to first grade. Aren't you supposed to do that?

I think my generation produced a generation of people who missed out on "you get what you give" and substituted in "I am not responsible for ............." the other guy is to blame. We gave or kids too much IMO.

Basically, I think kids aren't taught discipline and respect because they take time and effort to teach....and no body wants to do the hard things.....like hold your kid to account.

06-26-2012, 06:56 AM
I teach music lessons to kids of all ages. In the lesson policy that I hand out to all parents when we begin lessons, I have a little paragraph that states:

Bad behavior will not be tolerated and may result in termination of lessons."

I know you're dealing with an entirely different situation there with pre-schoolers. My youngest student is 7. Just wanted to share, for whatever it's worth...

Good luck!

06-26-2012, 06:58 AM
This vid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU) came to me as sort of a shock a couple of months ago. I don't completely agree with this kind of parenting but when you need to do somethin', you have to do it.

06-26-2012, 09:15 AM
This vid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU) came to me as sort of a shock a couple of months ago. I don't completely agree with this kind of parenting but when you need to do somethin', you have to do it.

IMO the father's response in that video is childish. Yes, the daughter has done something out of order, but a parent has to be more mature than a 15-year-old and try to give a constructive response. As for his shooting his daughter's laptop over and over - WTH does he mean or achieve by that? The symbolism there is all wrong!

06-26-2012, 01:49 PM
I think there have always been "bad apples" when it comes to parenting--the ones that don't take responsibility for their children, and expect everyone else to raise them.

My son goes to daycare/preschool, and 90% of the parents appear to be very engaged in their children's lives....and appear to listen respectfully to what the staff/teachers have to say. Plus the fact that the children seem to be able to sit in a room quietly means that most of them must be pretty good :-)

Debbie S
06-26-2012, 01:56 PM
Entire postAs a former teacher, I completely agree with this.

06-26-2012, 02:04 PM
As a former teacher, I completely agree with this.

And I think she's living in a world that never existed. C'est la vie.

06-26-2012, 02:34 PM
ITA with AxelAnnie and can summarize why parents don't discipline anymore ...
<whine> It's haaaaaaard. </whine>

06-26-2012, 03:14 PM
I don't think parents don't discipline anymore. I think there have always been parents who aren't the best at what they do and kids who are uncontrollable. And there are still parents who DO discipline and kids who are good kids.

06-26-2012, 03:19 PM
I think it's ridiculous that anyone would actually think that 'parents don't discipline anymore.' People haven't change that much from whatever golden days you're thinking of. Really.

06-26-2012, 03:21 PM
The majority of parents do discipline & are invested in their child's education. It's the bad parents who are raising brats who get all the attention. When you're shopping, do you notice the well-behaved kids alongside their parent? Or is the only child you remember the one who was having a screaming fit?

I don't blame the OP for venting here. That's what forums like this are for. But there's no need to jump on the bandwagon & make sweeping generalizations about how NO parents discipline.