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Japanfan
06-23-2012, 07:45 AM
I don't think that people always 'do the best they can'. Some people do the same stupid or destructive thing over and over again and when a relatively easy choice could be made to minimize the harm done, they don't make it. There can be a number of reasons for this. There are some people who are just lazy and irresponsible, where as others don't have the energy or discipline to make better decisions or pursue change. Another big reason is a failure to take responsibility for things. If you blame everything on someone else, you don't have the power to make any changes.

If someone is lacking in energy or discipline, or has a mental/physical illness, one might say that person is doing the best they can. But I have seen myself not do the best I can in situations and pushed myself to do better. I get frustrated sometimes when others don't do the same, but always remind myself to set aside my judgments and see if I can find some compassion within me.

For several years a friend of mine has appeared to be doing the worst she can in a lousy situation. It's been very frustrating because I've tried to support her in making her life better or least more tolerable, but she won't do a single thing.

But the truth is she is someone with serious health problems who doesn't have much to live for any more. In her case I honestly would say she is not doing the best she can. But it's sad that she can't do any better, can't find within herself any reason to.

kittyjake5
06-23-2012, 02:23 PM
Here they were together back in February as "celebrity chefs": http://momentsindigital.com/blog/delux-burger-celebrity-chefs-jamie-sale-craig-simpson/

Thanks for the photo. They are a very good looking couple.

Congrats to them both!

Iceman
06-23-2012, 04:01 PM
So he doesn't "oil" anymore!!!! lmao Wonder if she has gotten her whining under control.

Prancer
06-23-2012, 08:42 PM
I agree, but I also think this goes under the "Life's unfair" category. As much as we'd like to think that someone who cheats is a lying piece of dung serial cheater and will get their karmic come-uppance by having their spouse encounter someone else who doesn't take his or her vows seriously, it doesn't always happen. It also doesn't always happen that the new relationship fails because everyday life conflicts with the energy or inclination of the interloper to keep the cheating spouse on a pedestal.

The spouse who was left alone, especially with kids -- still overwhelmingly the woman, despite attempts by some states for more equal custody distribution -- and whose standard of living often goes into the crapper as a result doesn't get much out of these things happening anyway.

I wasn't advocating a life philosophy of "what goes around comes around," nor do I think that people should base their decisions on expecting karma to balance the scales, as that usually doesn't happen.

I think it's more about the golden rule. You don't respect other people's relationships because if you don't you will pay the price; you do it because you want others to do it for you--because that's the right thing to do.

Would I find it painful if my spouse were cheating on me with someone else? Yes? Well, then, perhaps I should be concerned about inflicting that pain on others. No matter how much you tell yourself that this is different, it's not.

kwanfan1818
06-24-2012, 12:56 AM
I agree, but I also think that people who want monogamous relationships should be out of the last relationship before committing to the next, which is why I've never taken separated men seriously, let alone ones that haven't separated yet.

Prancer
06-24-2012, 01:14 AM
I agree, but I also think that people who want monogamous relationships should be out of the last relationship before committing to the next, which is why I've never taken separated men seriously, let alone ones that haven't separated yet.

ITA. If you aren't happy in your marriage, either work at making it better or leave. Live honestly. Life is a lot less messy that way.

Southpaw
06-24-2012, 01:55 AM
or leave

But being alone is SOOOOO HARRRRRDDDDDD.

Or so I've heard. ;)

milanessa
06-24-2012, 02:08 AM
ITA. If you aren't happy in your marriage, either work at making it better or leave. Live honestly. Life is a lot less messy that way.

Where's the :drama: in that? No one would notice.

Prancer
06-24-2012, 02:55 AM
But being alone is SOOOOO HARRRRRDDDDDD.

Or so I've heard. ;)

Being alone often IS hard, especially if you are used to not being alone. The question is not whether it is hard, but whether it is harder than living with the mess you create when you involve a third party.

kwanfan1818
06-24-2012, 03:36 AM
I make enough of a mess when there's a second party.

Japanfan
06-24-2012, 07:02 AM
ITA. If you aren't happy in your marriage, either work at making it better or leave. Live honestly. Life is a lot less messy that way.

I don't think it's quite so easy. Happiness eludes a lot of people who are honest and make peace with their circumstances, be they single, in a relationship, or leaving one.

And happiness is also personal, my understanding of it may differ from another person's.

But of course there are those who complain endlessly but won't do anything about the circumstances that they are complaining about. It can get very tiresome.

Bournekraatzfan
06-24-2012, 07:09 AM
Wasn't David Pelletier married when Jamie hooked up with him?

In the end Jamie, David and Craig all got what they deserved: marriage to serial cheaters. None had any concern for the ex-spouses and/or children left in their wake.


I wouldn't be surprised if Jamie's time with Craig is as brief as her first marriage was. Let's hope they don't reproduce and compound the damage.

I don't think that's fair. As others have pointed out, we really don't know what happened. Some have speculated that Jamie and David got together while he was still in a relationship with his previous wife, but Jamie and David have said this was not the case, as far as I know.

And what if someone had cheated before and was later very sorry for their actions? Will they always be deserving of having their partner cheat on them?

MacMadame
06-24-2012, 06:18 PM
I don't think it's quite so easy. Happiness eludes a lot of people who are honest and make peace with their circumstances, be they single, in a relationship, or leaving one.
But she didn't say anything about getting happiness. She said it's less messy this way. I think it's hard to argue that getting out of a relationship that makes you unhappy before you get into a new relationship isn't less messy that getting involved with someone while you are still married to another. That seems pretty obvious, actually.

Frau Muller
06-24-2012, 06:31 PM
I find it a tad curious that a lot of the people who now look harshly on Jamie Sale's morals are the same people who offer hearty 'congratulations' whenever a baby 'created' out-of-wedlock pops out.

kwanfan1818
06-24-2012, 06:33 PM
I find it a tad curious that a lot of the people who now look harshly on Jamie Sale's morals are the same people who offer hearty 'congratulations' whenever a baby 'created' out-of-wedlock pops out.

And the two are equivalent how, exactly?