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Blair
06-22-2012, 10:57 PM
Ah, the shit lives excuse. Yet so many people who have had shit lives manage to live lives as decent human beings, while plenty of people who have had pampered and privileged lives treat other people like crap.


Not having a shit life has more to do with good role modelling and involved parents and less to do with priviledge and being pampered.

*Jen*
06-22-2012, 11:13 PM
You know what? I haven't had a shit life, but I've been through some pretty shit things, which I keep to myself. However, at the end of the day, regardless of what I've been through, I always have a choice in what I do, I have a voice and I have agency.

Those kids in the bus incident might have had a poor upbringing, and they might not know any better because they're kids, but when it comes to adults, everyone can overcome their history and make a better choice in the moment. However, just because they can, doesn't mean they do. We all make bad choices sometimes, but I like to think that we're judged for how well we rise after a fall, rather than how far we fell with a bad decision.

Making questionable decisions over and over doesn't to much for reputation...:shuffle: But in this case, there are so many parties involved, it's pretty murky. Good luck to them.

Prancer
06-22-2012, 11:14 PM
Not having a shit life has more to do with good role modelling and involved parents and less to do with priviledge and being pampered.

Okay; plenty of people who have good role modelling and involved parents treat other people like crap.

WildRose
06-22-2012, 11:27 PM
Jamie Sale and Craig Simpson: A love story in photos
http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Jamie+Sale+Craig+Simpson+love+story+photos/6826294/story.html#ixzz1yYxHZHxO
Pictures of Jamie and Craig are one thing - but to include photos with their former spouses and kids - with that headline? :eek:

overedge
06-22-2012, 11:38 PM
Pictures of Jamie and Craig are one thing - but to include photos with their former spouses and kids - with that headline? :eek:

The Vancouver Sun is edited by idiots, so this doesn't surprise me in the least.

I'm more surprised that an organization with professional photographers on staff and access to an extensive photo library had to use photos from blogs for this feature. I'm sure they didn't bother to ask permission either.

alilou
06-22-2012, 11:51 PM
I stand by my position. We are capable of learning and growing and behaving in ways that are more positive to society, but whatever we do at any moment in time remains the best and only thing we were ever going to do.
I would simply add to the end of that sentence ....in that moment.

susan6
06-22-2012, 11:51 PM
I don't think a lot of people do the best they can; I think that most of us do things that aren't the best and then justify our behavior by saying that happiness is the most important thing (our own, of course) and by rationalizing that everyone else will be better off in the long run, too.

It seems to me that life is often as messy as we make it.


That reminds me of Rielle Hunter's assertion that she has no regrets about falling in love with a married man. With the justification that the marriage was already shaky, so, really, she did everyone a favor....or something like that.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/06/22/reille-hunter-on-night-with-edwards-intensity-like-a-rock-concert/

mkats
06-23-2012, 01:36 AM
I've never seen photos of Jamie's first wedding before. Love the tiara, but, uh, what's with the sleeves??

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/6825750.bin?size=620x400s

honey
06-23-2012, 01:40 AM
I've never seen photos of Jamie's first wedding before. Love the tiara, but, uh, what's with the sleeves??

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/6825750.bin?size=620x400s

It's a coat. The dress looked like this http://img2-1.timeinc.net/people/i/2006/news/060116/dpelltier.jpg

Anita18
06-23-2012, 01:42 AM
I haven't found that to be the case. Usually if anyone is happier, it's the one who did the dumping. If nothing else, the person dumped is going to be worse off financially, and the person doing the dumping is already with someone, so they are moving into another relationship with more financial upside. Or maybe she is really sad that her marriage is over, and will now take a financial hit she may never recover from.
And this is why I'm not a believer in completely sacrificing a career to stay at home. You never know what might happen. Even if the husband doesn't leave - what happens if he dies suddenly? Believing yourself a victim doesn't help anyone.

FSWer
06-23-2012, 01:52 AM
Per her Twitter account, Jamie Sale married Craig Simpson yesterday!

https://twitter.com/JamieSale/status/215651451626725376/photo/1

I can't access the Photo...But...I must say...congratulations to Jamie Sale...or,in this case...LOL... Mrs. Simpson. Anyone happen to know if she plans to have kids? Or would that not be reveled to the Public?

Alex Forrest
06-23-2012, 02:12 AM
I think that a married person always bears much more responsibility when there is an affair, but I don't think that lets the other party entirely off the hook. I think you owe as much to other marriages/relationships as you expect other people to owe to yours. IOW, if you want people to respect the boundaries of your relationship, you need to respect theirs as well.

Well, I think it is 50/50 at best. In fact, I think the moral compass of someone who actively goes after a married spouse is worse. There is a certain type of person who sees a teetering relationship and decides to go in for the kill so to speak. Not letting the spouse off, but if someone's marriage is shaky with a nagging or intolerant spouse and they suddenly find themselves the object of someone else's affection and attention, well, it is welcomed. I think the master/mistress is just as bad if not worse because they are preying on the weakness of a struggling spouse. Might not always be the case, but I've seen it. Many times.

And it's not misogynistic to say that. Notice I did not mention gender at all. Stop going all misogyny when it's NOT THERE. If you are a woman, be stronger and stop blaming everything on misogyny. Jamie's track record doesn't look too good, nor do some of my male friends who break up marriages either. YMMV.

agalisgv
06-23-2012, 05:21 AM
And this is why I'm not a believer in completely sacrificing a career to stay at home. You never know what might happen. I think you're missing the point.

Even if the person had a career, they could be going from a two-income family to a one-income family. The person leaving, OTOH, could be going from a two-income family to another two-income family.

It's not necessarily a net change for the person leaving, but often is for the person being left whether they have a career or not.
Believing yourself a victim doesn't help anyone. I'm just pointing out that someone being left by their spouse isn't necessarily happier because of it (which is what you asserted). That's a reality, and not something just in a spouse's head.

Statistically, women after a divorce have far lower standard of living as a result, and men generally have a higher standard of living afterward. If a woman is left by her husband for another woman, and yet still has all the expenses related to raising the children (which most women have), that's a tangible blow to the family's well-being. And that's on top of losing one's life partner which can involve a mourning process in and of itself.

Painting that as all happiness for the spouse that was left seems incredibly out-of-touch.

kwanfan1818
06-23-2012, 06:18 AM
I think that a married person always bears much more responsibility when there is an affair, but I don't think that lets the other party entirely off the hook. I think you owe as much to other marriages/relationships as you expect other people to owe to yours. IOW, if you want people to respect the boundaries of your relationship, you need to respect theirs as well.
I agree, but I also think this goes under the "Life's unfair" category. As much as we'd like to think that someone who cheats is a lying piece of dung serial cheater and will get their karmic come-uppance by having their spouse encounter someone else who doesn't take his or her vows seriously, it doesn't always happen. It also doesn't always happen that the new relationship fails because everyday life conflicts with the energy or inclination of the interloper to keep the cheating spouse on a pedestal.

The spouse who was left alone, especially with kids -- still overwhelmingly the woman, despite attempts by some states for more equal custody distribution -- and whose standard of living often goes into the crapper as a result doesn't get much out of these things happening anyway.

escaflowne9282
06-23-2012, 06:51 AM
I can't believe that I'm about to say this ,since the number of harsh criticisms I've had of Jamie Sale is likely well into triple digits by now, but I think marriage and love connections are very different things to different people. It's impossible to know what dynamic was taking place in the relationships of Jamie and David, David and Tessa ('s sister :slinkaway: ), Jamie and Craig, Craig and his previous wife etc.
IMHO Romance can be quite illogical at times. I can't tell you the number of grounded well adjusted people I've known who wound up getting involved with people and situations that just have made me shake my head. However, in many cases, they made it work for the periods they were together.