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pat c
06-16-2012, 08:36 PM
what causes as much angst as weddings? :rolleyes:

Ok, we're invited to a wedding today, our daughter is one of the attendants.
The invitation specifically says wedding at 3:30 to be followed by a dance at 8:30.

Now our daughter just phoned back and said yes we're invited to the reception at 6:30. Nowhere on the invitation does it say this.

My snark? 1. If you're going to invite someone to everything, say so on the invitation. 2. Buy invitations that are bigger than a postage stamp so you can put that information on them. 3. Don't assume that people *will know* they're invited to everything.

This is the third invite someone in our family has had an invite like this. :mad:

And no we're not going to go to the reception for a variety of reasons, so no we don't really care if we go to the reception or not. It's just one of those :rolleyes: things.

AragornElessar
06-16-2012, 08:49 PM
I know how you feel pat. We've gotten a couple of invites like that the last few years too and it's beyond maddening to hear later the Couple/respective side of the Family we know/are related to were slightly insulted we weren't at the Dinner/Reception afterwards.

As you said, if it's not part of the invite, then don't be insulted or surprised when people don't show up for it.

I hope your daughter looked lovely and that it was a beautiful ceremony today.

danceronice
06-16-2012, 10:32 PM
I wonder in that case if it's not a space on the invitation thing, but a case where not EVERYONE gets to go to the dinner reception.

suep1963
06-16-2012, 10:41 PM
It's not a space issue--it's a cost saving device. Some people get invited to the wedding only, some get wedding and dance, and some get wedding, food and dance. It's not like most people don't realize that they are being cut out of the reception for $$ reasons, since most of the time, the dance is at the same place where the meal was, and if they show up a bit early, they get there just in time to see the wait staff clearing the tables.

vesperholly
06-17-2012, 12:12 AM
Is that really a thing now, to invite people to the ceremony and the party, but not the dinner? How odd.

suep1963
06-17-2012, 02:03 AM
Oh, we had that about 10 years ago. I don't think it's anything new

my little pony
06-17-2012, 02:09 AM
Is that really a thing now, to invite people to the ceremony and the party, but not the dinner? How odd.

i never heard of it before. i can't imagine wanting to go to phase 2 of the festivities 5 hrs later.

milanessa
06-17-2012, 02:20 AM
I've heard of people being invited to the ceremony only but that's it.

kwanfan1818
06-17-2012, 02:37 AM
I've heard of people being invited to the ceremony only but that's it.
Being invited to the ceremony only or the reception only (for private weddings and for religious reasons, like not being allowed in a Mormon temple) has been around for a long time.

It's odd to have two social events in the same venue where the more exclusive one comes first, and people for the second could show up to see the end of the first.

pat c
06-17-2012, 02:38 AM
I know how you feel pat. We've gotten a couple of invites like that the last few years too and it's beyond maddening to hear later the Couple/respective side of the Family we know/are related to were slightly insulted we weren't at the Dinner/Reception afterwards.

As you said, if it's not part of the invite, then don't be insulted or surprised when people don't show up for it.

I hope your daughter looked lovely and that it was a beautiful ceremony today.

I think that's the worst part of this is, we're going to get asked why we didn't stay. And we weren't the only ones that walked away. But as I said, we weren't going to stay anyway, it's our busy time of year and we figured the wedding was enough.

And I thought my daughter looked pretty good, even tho I do say so myself. :)

Actually, it's happened in our area quite often through the years, but they were huge church weddings and to feed everyone ie over 300 people it would have been very costly. Now, most weddings are less than 150 people, this one might have been between 80-100, so it was just a lot of assuming by the bride's family. And I don't know, things of this nature I'd rather not *assume*. The other thing that is quite popular is destination weddings.

fluorescein
06-17-2012, 02:57 AM
Blech, blech, blech! People shouldn't be having weddings where they can't afford to feed all the guests. Inviting X number of people to your wedding doesn't count unless you feed them all, lol. But tacky seems to be the new cool.

Don't care for destination weddings either unless bride and groom are paying for guests to attend. So pretentious...

milanessa
06-17-2012, 03:01 AM
Being invited to the ceremony only or the reception only (for private weddings and for religious reasons, like not being allowed in a Mormon temple) has been around for a long time.



That's why I've heard of it. ;)

ballettmaus
06-17-2012, 03:46 AM
Being invited to the ceremony only or the reception only (for private weddings and for religious reasons, like not being allowed in a Mormon temple) has been around for a long time.


I guess it's one thing to invite someone to the ceremony only or the reception only (though I've known the former to be more common) and I don't have a problem with it.
But inviting someone to church and then the dance and leaving out dinner in between is a whole different matter. Do bride and groom really expect those people to show up for the dance again after said guests had to entertain themselves while others were served food? That is tacky!
And I find it even stranger when someone then gets told that they were invited to dinner as well which, if I understood correctly, was one of the OP's remarks. That it didn't say on the invitation that they actually had been invited to dinner, too.

MacMadame
06-17-2012, 03:46 AM
I've heard of it and not just for weddings. I got invited to have drinks for someone's birthday and when I got there, they were clearing away the tables from the dinner that other people had been invited to.

Anita18
06-17-2012, 04:48 AM
I wonder in that case if it's not a space on the invitation thing, but a case where not EVERYONE gets to go to the dinner reception.
I thought it was usually the other way around - intimate ceremony with bigger reception. Although yeah, it would cost more to feed more people.

Could also be venue restrictions. My cousin got married at the courthouse and only 9 people could witness it, cause that's how many people could fit into the room. The reception had 150 people and was the MUCH bigger deal. :) The invitations from them said that we were invited to the "wedding reception," at any rate. If you're invited to the ceremony, it'd say "wedding ceremony" and then they'd mention the reception afterwards, or on a separate card.

I think that having a larger reception should only happen if there's a venue change, though. Having people see that there was a previous dinner/party without them is tacky. I wouldn't do that to my guests!

I've never heard of people being invited to a ceremony and then the dance without the reception in between. That's just weird...