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jeffisjeff
05-11-2012, 03:12 AM
Yeah, t-ball. Everybody bats every inning. No outs. Everyone scores every time they get up. It has got to be that way - otherwise there would be too many tearful meltdowns and temper tantrums. My daughter used to cry if she wasn't the first one to chase down a hit ball. :rofl:

Regarding scoring, around here it starts in 1st grade, I think. The league just above t-ball still lets every kid get a hit every time (they bring out the tee if necessary), but I seem to recall kids being tagged out at first, and score being kept.

IceAlisa
05-11-2012, 03:13 AM
my godson's t ball league is scoreless until a certain age. he's in first grade, not sure when the scoring starts. there are trophies anyway.

Hmmmmm. My son's hockey team keeps score like any other. The only thing that's different is they are not supposed to body check until they are 12.

MacMadame
05-11-2012, 03:25 AM
I think most new parents are scared half to death and thus get very caught up in doing things the right way; some of them don't get over it. And thanks to Freud, we all believe that parenting determines destiny, so heaven forfend that a parent do it the wrong way
It's not just Freud. I think a lot of people believe that, if they just follow the rules, nothing bad will happen to them.

It's not just in parenting, but when I was a new parent with my second and the internet was available, I saw a lot of that on parenting message boards. People screaming that anyone who did X was a bad mother or, alternately, that just saying X was a good idea was saying they were a bad mother.

It was tiresome.

genevieve
05-11-2012, 03:47 AM
You'll get a kick out of this article.

Why I Mock "Attachment Parenting" And The Kids It Produces (http://reason.com/archives/2012/04/29/why-i-mock-attachment-parenting-and-the)

As soon as I saw the byline (written by Kennedy, former MTV VJ), she lost me

cruisin
05-11-2012, 03:48 AM
Any woman who stays an A or B cup while nursing is lucky! Mine were too big for a triple H! They were so big and so engorged that I kept getting mastitis. My milk never regulated I' nurse each side for as long as my babies wanted, then had to stand in the shower, while milk just poured out. I had to stop at 6 months with both. My back couldn't take it, and my doctor didn't want me taking antibiotics so much. Now, they're deflated balloons!

I think it's a little odd to continue nursing to 3, 4 years old. When the child is eating/chewing solid (not puréed) food and drinking other beverages, it's not about nutrition anymore. I'm not judging, but I would not be comfortable with a chil that old still nursing. My real issue with this Time cover, is that at some point that kid will be unmercifully taunted. It's just plain cruel. They should have hidden his face.

IceAlisa
05-11-2012, 04:19 AM
Nursing 3 and 4 year olds is par for the course in San Francisco. Some advocate nursing until 5. I wonder why they think they should stop in kindergarten...

I was a large B when nursing and I didn't make that much per feeding so I had to nurse more often which was on demand, as women with smaller boobs find is the case. There just isn't room to store all that milk if the container is physically smaller.

rjblue
05-11-2012, 04:22 AM
My breasts only looked engorged when my milk first came in, or if I was hours too late between feedings, otherwise, they looked like normal A cup breasts. My son weighed 20 lbs before he ever had anything but breast milk. And I used to try and jiggle him to keep him awake so he'd drink enough to make me feel comfortable- I had enough milk for twins his size. I know several other small breasted women who had similar experiences.

But yeah, after 18 months or so, the breastfeeding is much more occasional comfort (for mommy and baby) and it is much easier to stop breastfeeding at that age than it is for an infant. It just sort of drifts away, and you realise you don't make milk anymore.

IceAlisa
05-11-2012, 04:26 AM
You are talking about feeding infants, which is pretty darn often. This is a 3-4 year old.



But by the time kids are three or four, it's more of a comfort and bonding thing and doesn't require a lot of milk, or so I hear. Not my thing, but it doesn't freak me out that people do it. I don't see any reason to care one way or another. I'd have to move if it freaked me out, it happens all the time. :lol:

What annoys me is the holier than thou attitude of superiority because they fed through toddlerhood, and some lazy sluts stop at around 12 months.

Prancer
05-11-2012, 04:26 AM
It's not just Freud. I think a lot of people believe that, if they just follow the rules, nothing bad will happen to them.

I don't think it's just that, though.

Let's say that you have a teenager who does something awful. What are the first things everyone says about it? "Where were the parents? What's wrong with the parents?"

This is invariably followed by multiple posts about parents today who want to be their kids' friends and these rotten, privileged, pampered kids, etc.

Or you have the reverse and you have a terrific kid. Ah, her parents must have raised her right.

It all comes back to the basic idea that we are what our parents make us--in spite of the fact that most of us have ample evidence that we are what a whole lot of things made us, some of which we probably aren't even aware of.

IceAlisa
05-11-2012, 04:33 AM
I think that we are, in part, what our parents make us. It's an important but not the only contributing factor.

sk8er1964
05-11-2012, 04:41 AM
Hmmmmm. My son's hockey team keeps score like any other. The only thing that's different is they are not supposed to body check until they are 12.

Thread drift alert!

That's because hockey is a real sport (as is figure skating). Well, that is until the most recent changes -- did you know with the new USA Hockey rule changes (last year, I think) there is now no mite travel, no mite full ice games, and they can't check until they are 14?


I think it's a little odd to continue nursing to 3, 4 years old. When the child is eating/chewing solid (not puréed) food and drinking other beverages, it's not about nutrition anymore. I'm not judging, but I would not be comfortable with a chil that old still nursing.

I'll judge. IMO, women who breastfeed a child who is potty trained is doing it for some weird psychological reason of their own.


Let's say that you have a teenager who does something awful. What are the first things everyone says about it? "Where were the parents? What's wrong with the parents?"

This is invariably followed by multiple posts about parents today who want to be their kids' friends and these rotten, privileged, pampered kids, etc.

Or you have the reverse and you have a terrific kid. Ah, her parents must have raised her right.

It all comes back to the basic idea that we are what our parents make us--in spite of the fact that most of us have ample evidence that we are what a whole lot of things made us, some of which we probably aren't even aware of.

I have no idea how I ended up with such a good teen. He had plenty of chances to be a problem child - we are nowhere near perfect parents - but we got lucky with him.

Gazpacho
05-11-2012, 05:05 AM
The cover is a tasteless gimmick.

IceAlisa
05-11-2012, 05:14 AM
So I got two kinds of responses from my friends about this: one is LOVE LOVE Dr. SEARS and one HATE HATE Dr. SEARS, kinda like HC here.

Who is Dr. Sears?

agalisgv
05-11-2012, 05:27 AM
Let's say that you have a teenager who does something awful. What are the first things everyone says about it? "Where were the parents? What's wrong with the parents?"

This is invariably followed by multiple posts about parents today who want to be their kids' friends and these rotten, privileged, pampered kids, etc.

Or you have the reverse and you have a terrific kid. Ah, her parents must have raised her right. I think you see a lot of the former, but not as much of the latter. I think by the time a child graduates from high school, people tend to praise the child for being mature and responsible rather than the parents.

I think back to discussions about skaters here, and people will blame Tonya Harding's messed up childhood, but you don't hear a lot of praise for, say, Rachel Flatt's parents.

IOW, parents are set-up to be criticized for failure, but not really praised for successes (in part because not infrequently those successes came despite parental upbringing rather than because of it. The same holds true for messed-up kids, but parents will always be blamed for that).

I also think parents tend to blame failures of their children on outside things, but believe success should be attributable to them. So there's a bit of skewing that can take place on the part of some parents.

What some see as parental success, others would not. And what some view as parental failure may be viewed differently by others. Different standards and all. We all like to think of ourselves as good parents, and will naturally defend that even when perhaps we shouldn't. But it hits too close to home for many to view it otherwise.

MacMadame
05-11-2012, 07:33 AM
Let's say that you have a teenager who does something awful. What are the first things everyone says about it? "Where were the parents? What's wrong with the parents?"

This is invariably followed by multiple posts about parents today who want to be their kids' friends and these rotten, privileged, pampered kids, etc.
Well that's true too. And it drives me crazy.

But I'm not sure that's connected to some of the parenting wars that spring up when kids are younger than pre-school age. At least not directly.

I think when you're a new parent, you aren't really worrying about whether or not the way you potty train is going to keep your kid out of Harvard (assuming you even want your kid to go there). Things like them dying of SIDS or getting hurt in a car accident because you put the child seat in wrong are much more immediate. Plus, for the first couple of years, it's not like your kid can tell you what kind of an impact your decisions are making on them. So that makes every decision that much harder.

As they grow up, it gets easier because they can give you more feedback and also you see that not every bad decision results in immediate intensely negative consequences, plus you've settled into a parenting style that suits you, so most parents relax on that and can be more easy-going about the parenting of others.