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danceronice
04-27-2012, 02:36 PM
I'd go with the shorter dress. Since the ceremony is in a church, I would add a shawl or dressy matching jacket (just in case there are any rules about covering your shoulders/arms).

I was going to say, that's too open/v-necked for a proper church service, Catholic or not (there's no RULE anymore about covering up but depending on how Catholic we're talking, ie cafeteria-Catholics who are just having hte quick service or a full Mass and the whole deal, it's too much skin for church) but put a nice bolero or jacket over it and you'd be fine.

I'd call and check, but if it doesn't say "Black Tie" cocktail should be formal enough.

And this is why I buy vintage or make my own. ;) What's "in" never factors into it. Okay, okay, MOM makes it, as I can quilt but I can't sew anything that fits a human body. Also finding clothing that doesn't suck is borderline-impossible off the rack, especially as dance clothes have utterly ruined me for dresses in the average department-store price point. (Me, going through the formals at Macy's, already hampered by needing it to be full-length, black, white, or black and white-"Ew, this feels awful. Ew, this looks cheap. Ew, this is crappy fabric. Ew, whoever made this can't sew." And looking at the price tags and realizing yes, dresses in the $100-200 range are NOT going to be especially well-made, so might as well buy the fabric and start from scratch.)

PDilemma
04-27-2012, 03:41 PM
I was at wedding in February that was crazy! It was in NYC, at a very nice venue. The bridesmaids wore whatever! One wore a long black flawy dress, two wore short black fitted dresses, one wore a woman's version of a tux (w/pants), one wore black trousers with a black sequined jacket, and one wore khakis and a tank top with a shawl (not just inappropriate for a wedding, but for the season)! Some of the guests were equally inappropriately dressed. One guy wore a button down shirt with a knit vest, which had skulls printed on it! Crazy! The bride, the bride's family and my husband and I were the only ones wearing appropriate clothing. Even the groom dressed oddly - a purple velvet blazer with black slacks and a white shirt. The groomsmen all wore nice suits, but not matching.

I was at a mix and match wedding last fall. The bride wore a full out enormous strapless ball gown and cathedral length veil and the groom wore an open shirt and jacket that didn't match his pants. One groomsman wore a tux, the others shirts and pants--only one with a tie. The bridesmaids had floor length gowns. It was like two separate wedding parties accidentally thrown together. And it was at a hunting lodge. So the female half of the bridal party was way off for the setting--they belonged at an ornate cathedral or a five star hotel or something. And the guests...everything from cocktail dresses and suits to leggings and sweatshirts. It was insane.

Then there were the colors...royal blue invites. Camo theme on the programs. bright reds, whites and pinks in the bouquets. Blue bridesmaid dresses. And the tables were decorated with fake fall leaves in oranges, deep reds, yellows... I felt like she just bought random stuff on clearance and threw it together after spending every penny on her ostentatious dress that did not belong at a hunting lodge!

On-topic: Love the short cocktail dress you linked. I would wear that if I were you. And unless you are going to a Catholic church in the diocese of Lincoln, Nebraska, you shouldn't need to worry about covering your shoulders in church. A shawl or something may be nice for air conditioning, though.

Wyliefan
04-27-2012, 03:43 PM
That short dress is adorable! Should be just fine for a wedding.

Rob
04-27-2012, 04:00 PM
Thanks for all the input! I'm really liking that short dress as well, looks pretty yet comfortable. Now i just need to decide which color... purple or blue since those two are the only ones available in 4.

Either color is fine, and I'd go with a metallic shoe. Are you traveling for the wedding so you can go back to your hotel room if there is a break between the ceremony and the reception? If not, I would take a comfortable slide in the car because it sounds like there might be a photo break in between. That way you can slip in and out of fancier shoes and give your feet a break.


I have a fairly fancy dinner in San Francisco at the end of June. Remembering Mark Twain's famous remark about SF summers, it's not going to be hot, right? I won't roast if I get something with sleeves?


I have been to SF in Jan, March, May, June, Sept, Oct, and Dec, and no matter what time of year, I am always freezing.

Last time I went to an evening formal wedding, I was dressed in black and my mother went off on how that was taboo. So I changed to a pale blue suit. Half the women at the wedding were in black. It's no longer taboo for night receptions.

cruisin
04-27-2012, 05:14 PM
^^ It used to be that black and red were no-nos at weddings. Now, either is fine. Just not (as I said up thread) white or ivory. And a short cocktail dress is considered just as formal as a gown for most black tie affairs.

Garden Kitty
04-27-2012, 05:47 PM
Love the short dress and I think either purple or blue would be nice.

milanessa
04-27-2012, 05:59 PM
I love it too and would go for the purple. Have fun! You'll look great.

IceAlisa
04-27-2012, 06:00 PM
Another vote for the short dress. I like the purple better, but then I always do.

Another question (especially for IA and Tinami and anyone else in northern California...)

I have a fairly fancy dinner in San Francisco at the end of June. Remembering Mark Twain's famous remark about SF summers, it's not going to be hot, right? I won't roast if I get something with sleeves?

I hate buying cocktail type dresses, by the time I need to wear it again it's out of style. :(

ETA: I was thinking something like this: http://www1.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/trina-turk-sequin-dress-cold-shoulder?ID=610555&CategoryID=21683&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_OCCASION%3DParty%26spp%3D5%26pp p%3D96%26sp%3D2%26rid%3D37
Ooooh la la! I like it. Roasting in June in SF? :rofl: You'll need a jacket or a light coat too unless we hit a freak heat wave. But you should be fine either way. As a rule, even if it's warm during the day (unlikely), the temperature drops 30 degrees at night. And by night I mean 7 pm. :cold:

Lanie
04-27-2012, 06:00 PM
Anything is fine I think, I'd just make sure to bring a shrug or bolero for the wedding ceremony itself. :)

I had people show up at my formal wedding in jeans. Ugh ugh ugh. I was so irked!

skatesindreams
04-27-2012, 06:00 PM
Another vote for the short dress!
The purple is lovely.
I suggest metallic accessories, also.

IceAlisa
04-27-2012, 06:17 PM
I had people show up at my formal wedding in jeans. Ugh ugh ugh. I was so irked!

I am from the old country and find that very annoying too. I think dolling yourself up for an event is part of showing that it's special to you.

Which is why I was irked when a woman showed up to my wedding in a cotton gingham number that would have been great for a summer picnic or a very informal brunch with girlfriends but not a wedding. Everyone else dressed appropriately and looked great.

To me wedding means a cocktail dress, unless it says black tie or goodness forbid, white tie, in which case a gown is inevitable.

Anita18
04-27-2012, 07:30 PM
The short one should be fine! I was a bridesmaid for a very fancy affair - huge cathedral, formalwear, country club reception, the works. I still use it as my formality gauge as in, "If they didn't do it there, it's perfectly proper!" And people wore knee-length dresses and it was fine. :)


Another vote for the short dress. I like the purple better, but then I always do.

Another question (especially for IA and Tinami and anyone else in northern California...)

I have a fairly fancy dinner in San Francisco at the end of June. Remembering Mark Twain's famous remark about SF summers, it's not going to be hot, right? I won't roast if I get something with sleeves?

I hate buying cocktail type dresses, by the time I need to wear it again it's out of style. :(

ETA: I was thinking something like this: http://www1.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/trina-turk-sequin-dress-cold-shoulder?ID=610555&CategoryID=21683&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_OCCASION%3DParty%26spp%3D5%26pp p%3D96%26sp%3D2%26rid%3D37
Yeah, SF miiight hit 75 on a freak heat wave. :lol: I've having mine more inland, where it actually does hit 90 on a regular basis, but if you're gonna be in the city proper, it'll be cool.


I was at wedding in February that was crazy! It was in NYC, at a very nice venue. The bridesmaids wore whatever! One wore a long black flawy dress, two wore short black fitted dresses, one wore a woman's version of a tux (w/pants), one wore black trousers with a black sequined jacket, and one wore khakis and a tank top with a shawl (not just inappropriate for a wedding, but for the season)! Some of the guests were equally inappropriately dressed. One guy wore a button down shirt with a knit vest, which had skulls printed on it! Crazy! The bride, the bride's family and my husband and I were the only ones wearing appropriate clothing. Even the groom dressed oddly - a purple velvet blazer with black slacks and a white shirt. The groomsmen all wore nice suits, but not matching.
Sounds like you attended an offbeat wedding (http://offbeatbride.com/2012/04/texas-steampunk-wedding). :)

If even the wedding party is "inappropriately dressed," it's very likely that it's purposefully appropriate for them. ;) It's the newfangled thing!

IMO, that wedding sounds AWESOME. :cheer: I wish fiance and I were so adamantly unique as to pull that off, but frankly, we'd look like clowns. :lol:

danceronice
04-27-2012, 08:40 PM
To me wedding means a cocktail dress, unless it says black tie or goodness forbid, white tie, in which case a gown is inevitable.

I'd say cocktail dresses if it's evening and non-religious or at least not being held in an actual place of worship. If it's evening and a religious service (though honestly I can't think of many religious weddings held late in the day) then cocktail only if it's long-sleeved and not low-necked and not TOO short, or if you have something appropriate you can put over it for the service that stays on without holding it, matches the outfit and isn't sheer.

Day dresses in appropriate color, formality depending on the type of service, if it's before 5pm. For the highest end, see Prince William's wedding. For lower end, a nice dress in light fabric or skirt/top would be appropriate. Cocktail wear is not appropriate in the daytime. (Also at least where I went to college, where one follows these sorts of rules, you'd die of heatstroke in most evening wear in the daytime.)

And I wish more American weddings would adopt the English style of hats for weddings. Hats are fun. There are not enough excuses for them.

And I was told when taking a trip to San Fransisco in early summer it would be "warm."

They lied like dogs.

Aceon6
04-27-2012, 08:46 PM
I'd say cocktail dresses if it's evening and non-religious or at least not being held in an actual place of worship. If it's evening and a religious service (though honestly I can't think of many religious weddings held late in the day) then cocktail only if it's long-sleeved and not low-necked and not TOO short, or if you have something appropriate you can put over it for the service that stays on without holding it, matches the outfit and isn't sheer.

I somewhat agree, but short/cap sleeves are perfectly fine in Christian churches and all but the most ultra-orthodox synagogues. The only time I think long sleeves is for a mosque.

skatesindreams
04-27-2012, 08:54 PM
There are dressy suits that are also appropriate for afternoon-into-evening weddings.
I usually wear them if I have questions about "cocktail" attire.