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View Full Version : Jennifer Kirk's blog: "... skating taught me far more than winning and losing"



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berthesghost
05-06-2012, 04:59 AM
Jenny said in her manleywoman podcast that she left Evy because she wanted to branch out and try other choreographers/music/styles and that Evy refuses to let his skaters work with anyone but Mary, so in order to leave Mary she had to leave Evy.

aftershocks
05-06-2012, 06:09 PM
^^ Oh, thanks. I haven't listened to that particular podcast yet.

I wonder if it's too bad that Evy didn't understand how important it is for skaters to branch out choreographically, and thus if he had Jenny might have stayed with the Scotvolds and prospered competitively? Or, whether it was better anyway that she left when she did (because of all the psychological/ emotional issues), despite the fact she felt that she somehow lost her competitive fire/ desire when she parted with Evy?

Jasmar
05-06-2012, 06:16 PM
Ohh, Deme, "truth" is not concrete. But, don't worry about it.

Huh?? Joke, right? Sorry, my sarcasm tuner is on the blink today.

Sylvia
05-29-2012, 06:43 PM
New blog post titled "An Unrealized Dream": http://www.jenniferkirk.com/2012/05/29/the-unrealized-dream/
Excerpt from her last paragraph:

In a way, I believe that dreams are like relationships. Sometimes the happy ending you hoped for doesn’t come true, and you have to heal from the disappointment of one before you can truly give yourself to another. I am hungry to foster a new dream, ready to embrace a new career and have started to use all the wonderful lessons I learned from skating to buoy me to this next stage in my life. Yet, part of me will always be sad when I look back on how my skating career ended and what I did to my body.

skatesindreams
05-29-2012, 06:52 PM
I'm sure that Jennifer's courage and honesty in sharing her struggle with these issues will help many others.

Thank you!

kittyjake5
05-29-2012, 07:02 PM
Goodness Jenny had a very rough time. I knew about the bulimia but
not the cutting. Her blog entries certainly is powerful stuff. I commend her for having the courage to write and publish what she went through.

Thanks for posting Sylvia.

alij
05-29-2012, 07:25 PM
Jennifers blog is so candid and moving, as a one time bulimia sufferer it struck a chord and I hope her ability to share her story so openly all help others realise they can move forward and beat this disease and more importantly find ways to learn to build self esteem.

Alex Forrest
05-29-2012, 09:06 PM
I am so impressed with her blog now. She has really grown up. Good luck to her.

Wyliefan
05-29-2012, 09:31 PM
Holy cow, the crap that girl has been through. It's a miracle she survived.

MarciajsR
05-29-2012, 09:44 PM
Jenny is a beautiful young woman with a unique gift for writting about the difficulties of life in a warm communicative way for others to share, contemplate, and learn from. Very special person, who in my opinion has earned a gold medal for each blog, and that is at the World level.

triple_toe
05-29-2012, 09:50 PM
Reading Jenny's blogs always makes me terribly upset. It's great that she's sharing these emotions and experiences but my heart aches for her. And I'm not saying these experiences are exaggerated or untrue, but I'm always sad that her experience as a skater comes across as being so negative. It doesn't have to be that way. I myself was an elite skater, I know many elite skaters that competed to the highest level, including the Olympics, and most of them aren't so miserable. Yes, skating is brutal and unforgiving but usually there is an underlying sense of love for the sport. I never feel the love for skating from Jenny's posts, obligation yes, need to please yes, but not so much the love.

It's such a shame, it's a beautiful sport that can give you so many opportunities and make you feel so... amazing. There were plenty of painful moments and sacrifices for me, but in the end I'm so happy for all the time I spent in the rink. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In my experience, that's what it's like for most skaters, otherwise no one would stick with it. I hope that people don't read this and think this is how it has to be. If your experience is like this, there's something wrong. Skating shouldn't be an exercise in torture, it shouldn't be something you regret for the rest of your life. It should be something that enriches your life, not ruins it. I'm so sorry Jenny sees it that way.

skatesindreams
05-29-2012, 10:42 PM
^^^
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

overedge
05-29-2012, 10:53 PM
Holy cow, the crap that girl has been through. It's a miracle she survived.

No kidding. I am :eek: that when her parents and coaches found out about her eating disorder, she didn't get any help. What kind of foolishness is that? Even if she was managing to skate well regardless, no accomplishment in skating is worth the sacrifice of your child's or student's long-term health.

PDilemma
05-29-2012, 11:05 PM
Reading Jenny's blogs always makes me terribly upset. It's great that she's sharing these emotions and experiences but my heart aches for her. And I'm not saying these experiences are exaggerated or untrue, but I'm always sad that her experience as a skater comes across as being so negative. It doesn't have to be that way. I myself was an elite skater, I know many elite skaters that competed to the highest level, including the Olympics, and most of them aren't so miserable. Yes, skating is brutal and unforgiving but usually there is an underlying sense of love for the sport. I never feel the love for skating from Jenny's posts, obligation yes, need to please yes, but not so much the love.

It's such a shame, it's a beautiful sport that can give you so many opportunities and make you feel so... amazing. There were plenty of painful moments and sacrifices for me, but in the end I'm so happy for all the time I spent in the rink. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In my experience, that's what it's like for most skaters, otherwise no one would stick with it. I hope that people don't read this and think this is how it has to be. If your experience is like this, there's something wrong. Skating shouldn't be an exercise in torture, it shouldn't be something you regret for the rest of your life. It should be something that enriches your life, not ruins it. I'm so sorry Jenny sees it that way.

This latest post hit the exact problem, though, didn't it? It was all about pleasing her mother. And whether it was her mother's intention or not, what she communicated to Jenny was that winning skating comps was the way she earned maternal love and losing them meant she wouldn't have it. It is extremely sad. But that kind of dysfunction is not isolated to skating or elite sports. I had high school students who felt like they had to get straight A's and academic accolades to earn their parents' love and approval. There was one family where the two daughters had eating disorders and one wrote a poem for my English class about how she, her sister and brother had to compete to win the most honors and awards because whoever had the most would win their parents' love. And it had nothing to do with sports. Any time parents live through their children's achievements, no matter what area it is in, things can end up this way and kids can be damaged.

Aussie Willy
05-29-2012, 11:05 PM
Reading Jenny's blogs always makes me terribly upset. It's great that she's sharing these emotions and experiences but my heart aches for her. And I'm not saying these experiences are exaggerated or untrue, but I'm always sad that her experience as a skater comes across as being so negative. It doesn't have to be that way. I myself was an elite skater, I know many elite skaters that competed to the highest level, including the Olympics, and most of them aren't so miserable. Yes, skating is brutal and unforgiving but usually there is an underlying sense of love for the sport. I never feel the love for skating from Jenny's posts, obligation yes, need to please yes, but not so much the love.

It's such a shame, it's a beautiful sport that can give you so many opportunities and make you feel so... amazing. There were plenty of painful moments and sacrifices for me, but in the end I'm so happy for all the time I spent in the rink. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In my experience, that's what it's like for most skaters, otherwise no one would stick with it. I hope that people don't read this and think this is how it has to be. If your experience is like this, there's something wrong. Skating shouldn't be an exercise in torture, it shouldn't be something you regret for the rest of your life. It should be something that enriches your life, not ruins it. I'm so sorry Jenny sees it that way.
Everyone has different experiences but it is the combination of all those posting about those experiences that can provide a semblence of balance. Whilst it is very uncomfortable for yourself to read these, what she is writing will probably help many who are in the same situation.