PDA

View Full Version : You better be happy or else



Pages : 1 [2] 3

Anita18
03-27-2012, 07:43 PM
Sure. Because just saying some happy stuff at that point, with the armies coming for him would have changed everything!

This stuff is damaging on so many levels. It is a blame the victim ideology--you are just tired, stressed, ill, dying, unhappy, clinically depressed, abused by your spouse (this principal's positive thinking guru actually explains that the negativity in her thoughts caused her ex-spouse to abuse her and she realized at a woman's shelter that it was all her fault--fortunately for her kids, this did not lead her to go back to him), unemployed, etc...it is all because you are not thinking positive thoughts and acting happy. Grief--which is part of what is going on in Macbeth's soliloquy as he just learned of his wife's death--is just negativity and should not be acknowledged.

It is not an emotionally healthy way to live.
That's exactly what I find dangerous about the "positive-thinking" mentality too. And I'm a sickeningly persistent optimist. :shuffle:

I believe that if people are treating you badly, you can choose to do a lot of things. You could talk to them, talk to someone who could help, leave the situation, etc. Sitting there and taking it silently trying to put a positive spin on it isn't going to improve the situation. So my optimism isn't so much positive-thinking as it is empowerment. If there is something you don't like, you can do something about it.

And sometimes there isn't a thing you can do, and the only way to handle it emotionally is to bear it and trust that time will do its job. Tomorrow's another day.

Sometimes crappy things happen to good people and I find it very disingenuous (and yes, dangerous) to just tell them it's their fault that the crappy things are happening to them. :(

Also, sometimes I put on sad music or a sad movie just to feel sad. :o It's good to feel those emotions in a controllable setting.

PDilemma
03-27-2012, 07:52 PM
So my optimism isn't so much positive-thinking as it is empowerment. If there is something you don't like, you can do something about it.



Having sat through two six hour workshops with this particular positive thinking guru, I can tell you there was nothing empowering about what she was teaching. She specifically and frequently emphasized that you aren't supposed to do anything to achieve a dream or goal or improve your situation. You are just supposed to think/believe/want it. If you do something, you aren't trusting the system and will not get what you want.

The senior class had to spend an entire school day being coached by her. They had to make posters of their dreams/life goals and then were told to just believe/think/want what was on the poster and it would happen and that working for it would derail it. A few discerning and brave kids said that you can't achieve most goals without working and planning. One who wanted to be a medical doctor asked me why she was supposed to believe that she could become one without working through undergrad to get into medical school and working hard through medical school.

This woman makes a lot of money. And she has managed to slink into schools all over our region running these workshops for staff and students and even "training" teachers in her "system". This principal discovered her when she spoke at a state coaches' clinic. She also does workshops and speaking for corporations all over the country and hawks books and CDs to teach her "system". I know public school teachers elsewhere in the state who have had to sit through her spiel multiple times as well.

Aceon6
03-27-2012, 07:58 PM
They had to make posters of their dreams/life goals and then were told to just believe/think/want what was on the poster and it would happen and that working for it would derail it.

Ouch. There are studies that show that students who both work hard and believe in their work do better, but I've never seen anything that says that wishing makes it so.

Anita18
03-27-2012, 08:11 PM
Having sat through two six hour workshops with this particular positive thinking guru, I can tell you there was nothing empowering about what she was teaching. She specifically and frequently emphasized that you aren't supposed to do anything to achieve a dream or goal or improve your situation. You are just supposed to think/believe/want it. If you do something, you aren't trusting the system and will not get what you want.
And people really believe that shit? :scream:

Yeah, those kids in Asia do well in school because they believe they will do well in school. It doesn't have anything to do with the fact they study day and night. :shuffle:


The senior class had to spend an entire school day being coached by her. They had to make posters of their dreams/life goals and then were told to just believe/think/want what was on the poster and it would happen and that working for it would derail it. A few discerning and brave kids said that you can't achieve most goals without working and planning. One who wanted to be a medical doctor asked me why she was supposed to believe that she could become one without working through undergrad to get into medical school and working hard through medical school.
From the mouths of babes! :lol: They were raised right by their parents.

PDilemma
03-27-2012, 08:30 PM
And people really believe that shit? :scream:



You have to admit is pleasant smelling shit. The thought that all good things could come to you without you lifting a finger is pretty appealing on its surface.

I found it interesting that in every example she gave of how this works, she was ignoring the person's hard work or someone else's hard work or how someone was hurt in the process.

Tiger Woods was her favorite athletic example. (This was just a few months prior to his scandal breaking). She completely ignored that he started golfing at age three and worked hard at it every single day of his life. It was all about some quote (which I never verified as authentic) about believing he can win, thus he won.

Her personal examples were easy to see that someone else was doing the work--believing she would be able to afford to join a church group's trip to Europe happening without worrying about how she would pay for it (presumably before she got rich selling quack ideas). That story made it very clear that other people in the group worked hard at raising funds so everyone could go. Or her favorite personal example about how she always gets free food in fast food drive-throughs because she believes her food will be free. Then the order gets screwed up and when she complains, they don't charge her. I was instantly turned off by that as some poor fast food worker making minimum wage likely has his/her pay docked over it. And a colleague pointed out that that one could be a self-fulfilling prophecy--that she mumbles or gives a complicated order to make it happen. Or that she just lies about it being wrong. Either way, someone else is hurt for her "belief" in free fast food.

Anita18
03-27-2012, 08:52 PM
You have to admit is pleasant smelling shit. The thought that all good things could come to you without you lifting a finger is pretty appealing on its surface.

I found it interesting that in every example she gave of how this works, she was ignoring the person's hard work or someone else's hard work or how someone was hurt in the process.

Tiger Woods was her favorite athletic example. (This was just a few months prior to his scandal breaking). She completely ignored that he started golfing at age three and worked hard at it every single day of his life. It was all about some quote (which I never verified as authentic) about believing he can win, thus he won.

Her personal examples were easy to see that someone else was doing the work--believing she would be able to afford to join a church group's trip to Europe happening without worrying about how she would pay for it (presumably before she got rich selling quack ideas). That story made it very clear that other people in the group worked hard at raising funds so everyone could go. Or her favorite personal example about how she always gets free food in fast food drive-throughs because she believes her food will be free. Then the order gets screwed up and when she complains, they don't charge her. I was instantly turned off by that as some poor fast food worker making minimum wage likely has his/her pay docked over it. And a colleague pointed out that that one could be a self-fulfilling prophecy--that she mumbles or gives a complicated order to make it happen. Or that she just lies about it being wrong. Either way, someone else is hurt for her "belief" in free fast food.
Wooooooooow....:yikes:

CantALoop
03-27-2012, 10:09 PM
Having sat through two six hour workshops with this particular positive thinking guru, I can tell you there was nothing empowering about what she was teaching. She specifically and frequently emphasized that you aren't supposed to do anything to achieve a dream or goal or improve your situation. You are just supposed to think/believe/want it. If you do something, you aren't trusting the system and will not get what you want.

Sounds like she's been reading too much of The Secret (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_%28book%29). :rolleyes::scream:

Aussie Willy
03-27-2012, 10:34 PM
PDilemma - thanks for all your comments on this. Really interesting stuff.

danceronice
03-28-2012, 04:40 AM
That's...not positive thinking, that's some strange form of racketeering. What did she say to the student who pointed out not working for your goal isn't going to help you get into med school?

I mean, yeah, I guess if you goals are "sit on your @$$ and collection welfare checks," not working and thinking happy thoughts will work for you. Really, that's not 'positive thinking', it's running a scam.

Aussie Willy
03-28-2012, 04:52 AM
Turning negatives into positives - is when I get injured or sick and it gives me a good excuse to take time off work to watch things like the Tour de France. Last year I sprained my wrist really badly and I had time of work just as the Tour was coming to an end.

Last week I had a nasty fall on the footpath and again a couple of days off work. Kind of regretting it didn't happen this week, what with Worlds on.

vesperholly
03-28-2012, 06:41 AM
I ... would totally lose my job in that place :lol:

PDilemma
03-28-2012, 02:48 PM
That's...not positive thinking, that's some strange form of racketeering. What did she say to the student who pointed out not working for your goal isn't going to help you get into med school?

I mean, yeah, I guess if you goals are "sit on your @$$ and collection welfare checks," not working and thinking happy thoughts will work for you. Really, that's not 'positive thinking', it's running a scam.

But this started with the principal and counselor deciding we should all be more "positive" and think more positively. They were pushing the policy this university set. And they realized they needed help to make it work. Then the principal saw this woman speak on the topic of "positive thinking" at a coaches' conference. And this was the results.

This is where the "let's all be positive" stuff seems to be going. This woman is not peddling her shit in a vacuum by any means. She is one of many. Someone else in the thread mentioned The Secret which is much the same idea and was a national bestseller. And there are plenty of other "systems" and books and speakers. What they all have in common is they start with "we should be positive and think positive thoughts". Positive thoughts are being imbued with magical powers to solve everything and get everything by all kinds of authors and speakers. If she were the only one...not so much of a problem and I doubt she would be as successful as she is.

Incidentally, since she is from the area, my sister-in-law found out she knows someone who knows the woman personally who said she is an extremely angry and unhappy person when she isn't turning on her presentation persona. I'm not surprised. She believes that burying negative feelings and experiences is the key to life. When you do that, I think you are likely to end up angry and unhappy.

As to your question, that student did not ask this woman about how she could be a doctor without working in medical school. She is a smart girl who probably will be a doctor and knew that asking would piss off the principal. She also knew the answer would be convoluted BS. She just had the conversation privately with me.

PDilemma
03-28-2012, 02:53 PM
Turning negatives into positives - is when I get injured or sick and it gives me a good excuse to take time off work to watch things like the Tour de France. Last year I sprained my wrist really badly and I had time of work just as the Tour was coming to an end.

Last week I had a nasty fall on the footpath and again a couple of days off work. Kind of regretting it didn't happen this week, what with Worlds on.

Exactly. And that's part of trying to have a generally good attitude. Even my aunt's death had the positive of being a chance for me to see my extended family that I rarely have a chance to be with. But that didn't mean that none of us mourned her.

I want to say again, I have no problem with finding the best in a situation or with the idea that your attitude can affect you or any of those things. But it seems like this forced positivity in schools or businesses can easily go to bad places. If no one can say anything that can be perceived as negative, it is difficult to solve problems or view ideas with a critical eye or just have a bad day.

CantALoop
03-28-2012, 11:23 PM
I want to say again, I have no problem with finding the best in a situation or with the idea that your attitude can affect you or any of those things. But it seems like this forced positivity in schools or businesses can easily go to bad places. If no one can say anything that can be perceived as negative, it is difficult to solve problems or view ideas with a critical eye or just have a bad day.

ITA. Positive thoughts can be powerful, but applying them to all situations is naive and futile. It's like Maslow's Hammer: when the only tool a person has is a hammer, they tend to treat everything as if it were a nail.


Incidentally, since she is from the area, my sister-in-law found out she knows someone who knows the woman personally who said she is an extremely angry and unhappy person when she isn't turning on her presentation persona.

I wonder if these motivational speakers/gurus would mind if I use my positive thinking towards hoping they end up like other scam artists like Jason Russell (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjdH2LDH5LM). :P

Allskate
03-29-2012, 12:59 AM
As for how this affects teaching? He was in my classroom one day when my senior lit students and I were discussing Macbeth's "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow" soliloquy. I was later reprimanded because the speech is "negative" and I did not tell the students that Macbeth should not speak "negative words" and should actually not teach the speech at all even though the play is part of the curriculum.

How on earth did they teach history in that school? Just omit things like slavery and the Japanese internment camps?