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BigB08822
02-08-2012, 08:31 AM
3 months? Some times it can take a victim YEARS before they can speak of an assault, let alone report it. I do grant that taking so long to report it will make it very hard for her to seem credible. Obviously any evidence of the alleged assault likely has been compromised/long gone.

Yes, this has been stated so many times I can't even remember. Thank you.

Sasha'sSpins
02-08-2012, 08:51 AM
I didn't say you automatically have to believe the alleged victim, but this thread so far contains a flurry of messages doubting the woman's story, and saying how could she have waited three months, and I was just trying to balance it out with some theories that might support her story, even though she waited three months and all that.

It is also the dissecting of the events, the doubting thomases that some times cause an alleged victim to recant-or not ever report an assault to begin with due to her actions leading up to the alleged rape being questioned - 'she went drinking with him', 'she barely knew him', etc.


So, that makes it okay if she says no, and he has sex with her anyway? I didn't know that consenting to go to someone's place meant consenting to having sex! I bet you think that a woman is just asking for it if she wears a short skirt at night, too.

Even if she consents to vaginal sex, and he performs anal intercourse, for example, that's still rape.

Well put. It's quite chilling really-like going back to the '70s where the alleged victim's sexual activities prior to a rape are dragged through a courtroom as 'proof' that she deserved it, or was asking for it by being dressed provocatively, etc.

We've come a long way baby-NOT. :shuffle:


No, but I will tell you one thing, I would not consider for one second doing what she did - going out for drinks and then going someplace private with someone I don't know well enough to know that said person has the self-control enough to be able to keep my welfare in mind, above and beyond whatever he may have in mind. The only time I have done the drinks-and-then-someplace-private was when I'd known the guy for well over a year, and what ended up happening was completely consensual on both sides.

I also have no problem with letting people know where I draw the line about how close I let people get to me. There was a minor fire across the street from my apartment 2 weeks ago, and while I was outside watching it (at 1:30/2:00 AM) I was conversing with a guy who lives 2 streets west of me. During the course of the conversation he said something to the point of us "maybe going out sometime." I turned right around on him and said firmly - "2 things. #1 - I don't 'date.' #2 - I don't 'drink.' And if you ever come around ringing my doorbell unannounced, you WILL be dealt with accordingly, because I don't allow that privilege to anyone who isn't a blood relative." And mind you, there's cops standing around as I'm saying this (and the fact that my building's super is a Troy City cop had already come up in the conversation) . Didn't stop the conversation, but it did set him back a bit, and he didn't mention it again.

You seem to be saying 'don't put yourself in that situation, being alone with a stranger-otherwise you deserve it'. You also seem to be saying 'I'm better than that woman'. Or maybe I'm reading you wrong. :blah:

What I do know is that 2 years ago a little girl walking to school alone was snatched up by 2 men, taken to an abandoned house they once lived in and raped her. This horrific nightmare happened to that little girl just 3 houses down from where my parents live. She didn't 'ask' to be raped by those men just because she was walking to school alone. Nor did her parents whom I believe worked such hours that they could not walk or drive their child to school. A lot of children are in that latchkey position. It's not okay to be raped by anyone just because you dress a certain way, are intoxicated, or happen to be alone with a stranger, or are walking alone trying to get somewhere. That stranger has NO RIGHT to touch you. None. Poor judgement is no excuse to rape someone either, not EVER.

With all due respect I'd be scared to have anyone who is prejudiced or judgemental in such a way on a jury box.

ETA: I just read a bit more through the thread-so the prosecutors are not going to charge him. It is unfortunate for him if this was a false report. I agree with those who have stated that the damage probably has been done.

Sasha'sSpins
02-08-2012, 08:52 AM
Yes, this has been stated so many times I can't even remember. Thank you.

I'm sorry I haven't gone through the whole thread-I was just stating facts as I know them and was not aware of how many times this has been stated prior to my own posts.

cruisin
02-08-2012, 01:37 PM
^^ No one is saying don't put yourself in that situation or you deserve to be raped. Two separate things are being discussed.

1. That the woman's story falls apart for several reasons. Most obvious, the texts that were sent to Kelly after the alleged rape.

2. That women need to be safe. Bad things can happen anyway, but we need to make decisions that do not put us at risk. That is just common sense, not blame.

Anyway, it is moot. The courts have exhonorated Kelly. Now, it remains to be seen if he gets his job back. If he doesn't, maybe he should sue.

WindSpirit
02-08-2012, 02:32 PM
^^ No one is saying don't put yourself in that situation or you deserve to be raped. Two separate things are being discussed.

1. That the woman's story falls apart for several reasons. Most obvious, the texts that were sent to Kelly after the alleged rape.

2. That women need to be safe. Bad things can happen anyway, but we need to make decisions that do not put us at risk. That is just common sense, not blame. Funny how a "separate" thing was being discussed while rape in general was branded off topic in this thread. :rofl:

BTW, including that "separate" thing in a thread about rape accusations does make it seem like it's about judgement and blame, and that's why many people have taken it as such.

cruisin
02-08-2012, 03:04 PM
I disagree. We can discuss rape and still discuss ways to lessen our vulnerability. Women and men never deserve to be raped. Nor should they ever be blamed for being raped. However, it behooves us to keep ourselves safe. There are things we can do to lessen our vulnerability. By discussing those things, we do not assign blame, we offer suggestions for limiting putting yourself in an unsafe position. As I said, bad things can happen regardless of the precautions we take. But we should still take them.

That said, I think this discussion would have been different if this woman seemed more credible. I hate to doubt the victim. But her actions, especially after the alleged rape, seemed very questionable. Clearly the courts agree with that. As much as women can be raped, women can also lie. We may never know exactly what happened here. But, it seems that, in this case the victim is Kelly.

Andora
02-08-2012, 03:05 PM
Crusin, I get that you're not trying to assign blame TO women who, in your view, "don't take care of themselves," but it still takes blame away from the actual attackers.



ETA: I just read a bit more through the thread-so the prosecutors are not going to charge him. It is unfortunate for him if this was a false report. I agree with those who have stated that the damage probably has been done.

In general, I'd agree, but considering even in here people were immediately suspicious, I wonder if his reputation really is THAT damaged-- in this case, anyways. An untrue rape accusation is a very damaging thing.

cruisin
02-08-2012, 03:17 PM
[QUOTE=Andora;3472416]Crusin, I get that you're not trying to assign blame TO women who, in your view, "don't take care of themselves," but it still takes blame away from the actual attackers[\QUOTE]

It absolutely does not. If a person chooses to rape someon, it is entirely their responsibility. It's like getting into a car with a person who's been drinking. If they crash the car, it's not the passenger's fault. But they should not have gotten into the car. We make choices that can put us in danger, we need to be more careful - for our own sake. That does not mean that we cause ourself to be attacked, but we do need to try and protect ourselves from dangerous situations.

cruisin
02-08-2012, 06:02 PM
Andora, it is what I've been saying. You just can't seem to get it through your little head. Stop leaving nasty, ignorant rep messages. I don't care if you agree with me. I don't care if you don't like me. But, behave like an adult. Stop telling me what I really mean. Put me back on ignore.

So, let me ask you. When I respond to your comments am I asking for your ugly, obnoxious comments? Or is that totally your responsibility? You like to hide behind the rep option. You twist opinions to serve your own warped interpretation. You have no interest in what I actually mean, you simply like to attack me for everything I say.

Beefcake
02-08-2012, 09:09 PM
ETA: I just read a bit more through the thread-so the prosecutors are not going to charge him. It is unfortunate for him [STRIKEif[/STRIKE] that this was a false report. I agree with those who have stated that the damage probably has been done.
Fixed. (Sorry.) This was a false report, clearly now. And I look forward to this woman's name and other dirty laundry (including, perhaps, that she never really did get pregnant) being released. Kelly had to endure some dirt digging, and you know what, he came up very clean. Her turn.

Too bad she won't be charged with a false report, though, but at least her reputation can be tarnished as retribution to the damage she caused Kelly and - importantly - people who truly have been sexually assaulted and need their claims to be trusted.

Beefcake
02-08-2012, 09:23 PM
:sekret: What's the over/under that buzzard Gloria Allred be calling a press conference by week's end to announce she's representing "this brave victim standing beside me"? And just in time ... the bones from Allred's last meal, er "case," are probably picked white clean, by now.

Karina1974
02-08-2012, 09:45 PM
And I look forward to this woman's name ... being released. Kelly had to endure some dirt digging, and you know what, he came up very clean. Her turn.


I agree. And your wish is the NY Post's command (with photo):

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/kelly_cleared_FOBlFSHbhcWQLIpc0fax8L


The case was over nearly as soon as it started — after it surfaced that his aspiring-model accuser, Maria Di Toro, engaged in steamy texting with him after their sexual encounter, suggesting they get together again, sources said.“Those aren’t the words of a woman raped,’’ one law-enforcement source flatly told The Post.

Another source said the later texts showed that “the lustfulness for each other was mutual’’ and added that it should be “no surprise’’ that the investigation was dropped.

Anita18
02-08-2012, 09:53 PM
1. That the woman's story falls apart for several reasons. Most obvious, the texts that were sent to Kelly after the alleged rape.
That was the clincher for me personally. You can take someone back to your office for some shady reason and still be raped, I have no doubts about that. But to continue sexting him after even a date rape? Hellooo, reasonable doubt.

Rex
02-09-2012, 12:18 AM
I'm glad Kelly isn't being prosecuted, but the damage remains. There will always be those who actually think that he did it.

Sasha'sSpins
02-09-2012, 04:04 AM
Fixed. (Sorry.) This was a false report, clearly now. And I look forward to this woman's name and other dirty laundry (including, perhaps, that she never really did get pregnant) being released. Kelly had to endure some dirt digging, and you know what, he came up very clean. Her turn.

Too bad she won't be charged with a false report, though, but at least her reputation can be tarnished as retribution to the damage she caused Kelly and - importantly - people who truly have been sexually assaulted and need their claims to be trusted.

Um thanks I guess. English is not my first language but I do the best I can. No one is perfect. :rolleyes:

If he can prove his reputation has been damaged by a false report from this alleged 'victim' I hope he can sue that woman for damages.