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View Full Version : Jamie Silverstein's blog post on eating disorders: "It's not about the food..."



Sylvia
01-12-2012, 06:12 PM
http://bejamie.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/its-not-about-the-food/
Excerpt:

We’ve all got needs. Big, beautiful, scary, appropriate, audacious, real, needs. Sometimes they can be fulfilled and sometimes… But a person with an eating disorder does not trust his / her humane right to have needs. Maybe this person’s needs were not met early on and she / he mistook this personal flaw. (Wrong!) Maybe this person is still unsure that is it okay for needs to exist. (WRONG!!) Maybe this person is just suffering from a situation that feels so entrapping and painful that they would rather divvy out their suffering in controllable kcals. (I’m SO sorry…)

Either way– ALL ways, when you are in a disordered mindset, your own needs, beyond proving a point without words, do not exist. Except they are the biggest elephant in the room. (No pun intended.) And, people will care. But, if you are a championing denial, no needs, and ‘I’m fine’ (you’re not) those caring people will not have a clue what to do. They’ll tell you to eat a sandwich.

(Which is ‘not the point!!!’– you want to cry. But, on the other hand, can you really blame them?)

JJH
01-12-2012, 07:14 PM
She's a brave woman. I hope her words help her healing process and reach others.

CantALoop
01-12-2012, 07:55 PM
She's right on when she says that for people with eating disorders, it's more than just the food - it's the emotional connections and our use of food as an outlet.


If you are struggling, there’s help. Tell someone. In words. It gets better.
This is the big step. I was embarrassed because I thought nobody would believe me because everyone told me I looked fine even though I didn't think that myself. It's only through the encouragement of others that I was finally able to seek counseling.

Garden Kitty
01-12-2012, 09:20 PM
Good for Jamie for being willing to speak up about her experience and share what she's gone through :respec:

skatemommy
01-13-2012, 05:01 PM
I wish her so much happiness. I hope TPTB learned from this.

Yazmeen
01-13-2012, 05:47 PM
I think this is a great thing that Jamie is doing, and I hope it is helpful. I wish her the best.

I will also be honest and admit and that her "and there was that Olympic ice dancer thing" comment on her "About" page bothered me. I was always a bit rankled that she popped back into skating and took an Olympic berth (albeit earned) and then immediately popped back out, and I still remember her in an interview at the Olympics where she seemed rather disappointed as though she expected to get more from it, though I don't know what. It just bothered me that Morgan and Max lost out on their one Olympic chance by less than 4 points to someone who seemed to just jump back in for the Olympics and then jump back out. I don't know what her train of thought was then, she is obviously a young woman who has worked hard to overcome her demons. I just wish she would have left the flip comment about something that is a huge dream for many skaters out of it.

Sparks
01-14-2012, 11:36 PM
Morgan and Max didn't earn a spot and Jaime + Partner did. What they did after the Olympics is pretty irrelevent, IMO.
There are many people who quit after going to the Olympics.
IF I recall, Morgan had issues of her own to deal with anyway.

AJ Skatefan
01-14-2012, 11:40 PM
To me it doesn't matter who pops in or pops out, if they're good enough and earn the spot, good on them.

BittyBug
01-15-2012, 01:37 AM
I just wish she would have left the flip comment about something that is a huge dream for many skaters out of it.I'd guess it was a huge dream for her as well. However, I can certainly understand how she might be extremely conflicted about the event and the sport.

It would appear that skating was something that she loved at one time, and she was an extraordinary talent. She and Pekarek rocketed to the top echelon during a time when that simply didn't happen in ice dance, and there were huge expectations for their future. However, as bright and as certain as their destiny appeared to be, the sport also seems to have been killing her, so she left it, most likely with many unresolved feelings (especially given the nature of eating disorders, which as she herself noted are a tool to suppress emotions).

Had she an Pekarek continued as a team they very well may have been Olympic medalists, if not champions. But we'll never know what might have been, only what was - unfulfilled potential. So I can see how Jaime might be ambivalent about the way her Olympic experience ended up playing out in the end (if in fact she is). Just speculation, of course.

MacMadame
01-15-2012, 10:16 PM
I didn't see her comment as being flip either. I saw it as acknowledging something that was a big part of her life but that she really didn't want to talk about too much because of still unresolved feelings.

Erin
01-16-2012, 02:27 AM
It just bothered me that Morgan and Max lost out on their one Olympic chance by less than 4 points to someone who seemed to just jump back in for the Olympics and then jump back out. I don't know what her train of thought was then, she is obviously a young woman who has worked hard to overcome her demons.

I think your second sentence explains the first...Jamie had a lot of demons. I don't think she just jumped in for the Olympics and jumped back out again - more of a situation where she appeared to have things together that year, but the aftermath showed that she was still struggling through a lot of the issues.

As for her comments on eating disorders...I absolutely agree that it's not about the food, but I'm not sure that I entirely followed everything else that she said. But I am sure it will resonate with some people and I'm glad that she's starting to speak out about it.

(And not really on topic, but Max actually did end up going to the Olympics, just a different Olympics for a different country)

Garden Kitty
01-16-2012, 05:29 PM
Jamie had another entry today (http://bejamie.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/bodies-and-burgers-and-bullies-oh-my/) about how casual words can sometimes have a bigger impact than anyone intends

Twizzler
01-16-2012, 08:29 PM
It just bothered me that Morgan and Max lost out on their one Olympic chance by less than 4 points to someone who seemed to just jump back in for the Olympics and then jump back out. I don't know what her train of thought was then, she is obviously a young woman who has worked hard to overcome her demons. I just wish she would have left the flip comment about something that is a huge dream for many skaters out of it.

Not to get snarky, but M/Z had falls in the OD and FD so they kind of took themselves out of a chance for an Olympic berth. A clean M/Z would have gone- no question. The judges were never going to send NavBom, so Jamie and Ryan were the obvious selection.

aemeraldrainc
01-17-2012, 06:14 AM
Jamie had another entry today (http://bejamie.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/bodies-and-burgers-and-bullies-oh-my/) about how casual words can sometimes have a bigger impact than anyone intends

When I read that, I thought that maybe she had gotten wind of this thread and was responding. Hehe. But it doesn't sound like it.

Garden Kitty
01-19-2012, 05:45 PM
Another entry on her blog about what "to say" (http://bejamie.wordpress.com/2012/01/19/i-wrote-a-post/)