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manleywoman
12-07-2011, 01:24 AM
Wonderful review. I'm aghast at some of the details of which you have written.

It's truly shocking when you read it.

Michael O'C
12-07-2011, 01:49 AM
I just wrote a review (http://www.manleywoman.com/book-review-lucinda-ruhs-frozen-teardrop/) on my website tonight. She sent me an advance copy in preparation for my podcast interview. I've been getting a lot of books sent to me for review since I've been doing the skatecasts, and I thought it was about time I started reviewing them, so I started with hers.

In short: I highly recommend it. :) It's a shocking book in many ways.

Great review, I must get the book. I first saw Lucinda in the World Jr Championships here in Brisbane. Even then her spins were unmatched. The brutality of the Asian training systems doesn't surprise me. Remember that book about Tiger Mothers that came out recently, and the expose of the Korean cramming schools?

Glide2
12-07-2011, 01:04 PM
Maybe this includes spoilers?


















I think Lucinda's mother should be in jail. If you take one punch at a guy in a bar, they call it assault. You can go to jail for that. But a lifetime of beating your own child is okay? Nope. don't think so. Even saying that she regrets doing it now... not good enough.

And all those sports injuries. I hope to god Lucinda's spine has healed. I just don't know enough about multiple concussion problems to know if it's possible to heal.

It sounds like maybe she's conquered the exercise bulimia. (I think I currently have the opposite of that. )

Also, I hope things have improved for the Chinese skaters at their sort of primitive living situation at the training center Ruh attended.

manleywoman
12-07-2011, 04:42 PM
I think Lucinda's mother should be in jail. If you take one punch at a guy in a bar, they call it assault. You can go to jail for that. But a lifetime of beating your own child is okay? Nope. don't think so. Even saying that she regrets doing it now... not good enough.

She can't go to jail if Lucinda is unwilling to press charges. They seem to have come to an astonishing peace with each other and the whole situation.

hanca
12-07-2011, 06:27 PM
I think Lucinda's mother should be in jail. If you take one punch at a guy in a bar, they call it assault. You can go to jail for that. But a lifetime of beating your own child is okay? Nope. don't think so. Even saying that she regrets doing it now... not good enough.



In some countries it was (and somewhere maybe it still is) an aceptable way how to bring children up. I do agree that it was abuse, both physical and emotional, but you can't apply what is legal and illegal in your country to what happened to her in a different country and some perhaps 10-20 years ago. In some schools in was perfectly normal to use a cane; would you send all teachers from that time to prison?

I am quite surprised that her mother wrote the last chapter and admitted it. I think that must have helped a lot to Lucinda to come to terms with what had happened. A lot of parents in such situation would be denying it, claiming that it was not true, or maybe even taking legal action to stop the book being released.

feraina
12-09-2011, 01:08 AM
In some countries it was (and somewhere maybe it still is) an aceptable way how to bring children up.

My mom hit and whacked me quite regularly when I was in elementary school (in China). For rather minor things, too, like getting 89 on a math exam when she thought I should have gotten an A or A+. If I was an elite athlete, or trying to be one, I'm sure there would've been even more beating. But I think that was rather common parenting practice at the time. You even saw on TV parents disciplining children by hitting them. I haven't lived there since the 80's, so maybe things are quite different now. Anyway, I wouldn't put it down to her mom being especially criminal or abusive -- it could just be a matter of different culture, different era.

sadya
12-09-2011, 12:10 PM
My mother did the same when I grew up. She beat me up and called me negative things which resulted in me having little self esteem and self confidence. I was over-shy for many many years and thought I could do nothing since that was what she told me. It is a habbit amongst many Pakistani people as well to give a small beating to children, but some people overdo it. My mother overdid it.

Personally, I pull ears, even that mildly and nothing more. I feel my mother beat me too much, though some people say it was normal and customary. Opinions differ I suppose.

I admire Ruh for still forgiving her mother!

Nomad
12-09-2011, 09:59 PM
My parents grew up in an era when corporal punishment did not equal child abuse. So my sibs and I all got smacked/spanked/etc. while growing up. For major offenses, the hairbrush or the belt was used. No use running or hiding, either; we just got a double dose for showing cowardice in the face of "getting what you had coming to you." Harsh? Yes, but that's how they were brought up. And it wasn't just in the home - my father remembers getting paddled in school for telling his Latin teacher to go f*ck himself.

liv
12-10-2011, 03:18 PM
Never spanked, never got into trouble. My parents set boundaries, when I went over them, i was spoken to and given choices and consequences. I was one of those kids who felt so guilty for having done something wrong that there was no need to do anything stronger.

Growing up like I did, I find it very difficult to see how Lucinda can forgive her mother, but that is their situation, not mine. Times are changing and attitudes towards these things are changing too, although not everywhere. As long as she can get past it, then that is what matters and good for her.

She will always be remembered for showing everyone the gold standard for spinning. She showed people what is possible with that beautiful skating element.

care bear
12-10-2011, 03:44 PM
BTW, spinning. I read in IFS two years ago that she had got big problems with her health. "Every time I would spin it caused mini concussions in my brain. I suffered from nausea and dizziness off the ice and I was no really be able to walk straight. For two years I barely got out of bed."

manleywoman
12-10-2011, 03:59 PM
^Yes. Read thr book to get the much more detailed version.