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myhoneyhoney
09-30-2011, 05:20 AM
oops, typed too slow... at least now I'm sure of what a tramp stamp is, lol

IceAlisa
09-30-2011, 05:44 AM
Exactly, Cyn and myhoneyhoney. Save it for when she wants a tattoo, a piercing and a micromini.

essence_of_soy
09-30-2011, 06:07 AM
Why spend more money than you have to?

Prancer
09-30-2011, 06:42 AM
One of my friends' daughters was bugging her for a bra when the daughter was five. My daughter didn't want one until I insisted that the time had arrived (and now she never goes without :rolleyes:). Different strokes for very different girls.

I'm really not sure what having a bra has to do with growing up too fast and not having one doesn't. :confused: It's a bra, or what passes for one at this age.

I didn't wear an undershirt when I was eight; neither did anyone I knew. Why would I have needed one? :confused:

Tinami Amori
09-30-2011, 07:55 AM
My 8 year old daughter just surprised me with this. She asked if she could start wearing one. I asked her why? She said her friends at school wear them and showed them to her.

This situation is not about “the bra”, it’s about conformity, peer-pressure, and wanting to do/have something “because others do/have it”.

You’ve already asked her (good for you!) why she wants one. Ask her again, ask her if there are any practical utilitarian reasons why she should wear one (perhaps there are). If there are such (practical utilitarian) reasons and she can logically explain, buy her the darn bra, 1-2 bras for $5-$10 is not a big deal. It does not matter if her body needs it or not. If she is able to logically prove to you her reasons, other than “fitting in with the masses”, she deserves a reward.

If her only reason is “others wear them” – say to her “If others jump out of a 5th-floor window, will you do it too”? You must cut the tendency at its root to want to “follow the masses” without thinking.

Japanfan
09-30-2011, 10:42 AM
Oh for goodness sake. I see toddler girls in bikini tops on the beach, covering/supporting what exactly?

And so on. Much ado about nothing.

Yes, it is part of gendering - teaching little girls to be female - even though they don't have anything to cover up in a bikini top

Veronika
09-30-2011, 12:09 PM
I really wanted a bra when I started 5th grade, since I noticed other girls wearing them. I had a horrible time asking my mom to get me one--which is odd, since I have a very good relationship with my mom. Anyway, she got me a few that year, even though I didn't really need them. I ended up not liking how they felt, and I wore stretchy camisoles until 7th grade.

Everyone is different! You might end up getting the bras and your daughter won't like them! :P

skatemommy
09-30-2011, 12:18 PM
May I suggest Justice (formerly Limited Too) cami tops? All the girls wear cami's as an undershirt these days - albeit with the pretty lace showing at the bottom and sparkly straps at the top. I think the layered look is what most are after. As cold and rainy as it is here today, it's a good thing!

NinjaTurtles
09-30-2011, 12:47 PM
I've noticed moms use the cami "bras" a lot to help girls transition into real bras. Often when the time comes for a need to wear a bra, the young lady finds it uncomfortable or difficult to remember to wear it everyday. It's like early clothing pattern reinforcement.

I don't think it's distinguishable really from an undershirt or other methods of layering kids employ. Just remember, If she cares about how it looks, she'll probably be showing her friends. ;) Afterall, they showed her, right?

myhoneyhoney
09-30-2011, 02:57 PM
This situation is not about “the bra”, it’s about conformity, peer-pressure, and wanting to do/have something “because others do/have it”.

I'm not too concerned about that. She's shown me that she can handle it. For example, Labor Day weekend, for some reason a lot of her friends got their ears pierced that weekend. They were showing them to her and telling her she should get hers pierced too. I asked her if she wanted her ears pierced and she looked at me like I was crazy. She exclaimed, "Mommy, they hurt themselves, they put holes in their ears on purpose! Why would I do that?!" :rofl: To this day she's the only one without "bling" and she hasn't not uttered a peep to change it.

Bev Johnston
09-30-2011, 03:09 PM
I also don't see the big deal. She wants to wear clothes designed for females. It's not like the next step is sleeping around and smoking pot.

My grandma bought me a matching bra/panty set when I was about that age but I thought it was embarrassing and wouldn't wear it. If I'd wanted to wear it, my parents would've been fine with it.

FigureSpins
09-30-2011, 03:12 PM
My MIL used to buy my oldest DD little short sport tops to wear underneath cropped shirts in the summer, so we called them bras when she asked for one. "Oh, you've been wearing those for a long time!"

For my twins, I went to Belk, which is a good department store, and asked for "training bras." They didn't have anything like it! The lingerie saleswoman said everyone uses sports bras now.

Kids really are rushed to grow up these days by the world in general. Enjoy the last few years before she DOES need a brassiere and you have to deal with the world of teenagers.

The latest middle school trend is to wear camisoles instead of brassieres. Some of these girls need far more support and modesty. (They do wear one or more "outer" shirts, well, my kids don't have a choice. Camis on their own aren't allowed - no spaghetti straps or strapless blouses.)

FigureSpins
09-30-2011, 03:18 PM
I'm not too concerned about that. She's shown me that she can handle it. For example, Labor Day weekend, for some reason a lot of her friends got their ears pierced that weekend. They were showing them to her and telling her she should get hers pierced too. I asked her if she wanted her ears pierced and she looked at me like I was crazy. She exclaimed, "Mommy, they hurt themselves, they put holes in their ears on purpose! Why would I do that?!" :rofl: To this day she's the only one without "bling" and she hasn't not uttered a peep to change it.


Really, should I be resisting something that will help her cover up? Shouldn't I reserve that for if she wants to cover less?ROFLOL! Good for both of you!

I had a discussion with my BFF (Psychologist/Social Worker) about daughters and Barbie dolls. She made a funny statement about how Barbie is such a poor role model: can't hold a job, is a clothes horse, is fickle with her boyfriend (Ken vs. GI Joe), has lots of nice things, lives in a penthouse and drives a convertible with no visible means of support, money-wise or body-wise, lol. Actually, she called Barbie a slut and a gold-digger.

I told my BFF that if Barbie could encourage my daughter to brush her hair on her own, that earned her a rent-free room in my house, lol.
My DD (then 6 or 7) fought us at every turn about toothbrushing, bathing, and wearing untorn, clean clothing. Given her choice, she wanted to look like a neglected street urchin with wild, tangled hair.

Nan
09-30-2011, 03:40 PM
One of my daughters developed (a lot!) very early, one very late. I let them be the measure if they were ready or not. If it makes her more comfortable, no matter the reason, I think she should have it.

IceAlisa
09-30-2011, 04:34 PM
At some point, even before girls get breast buds, they become self-conscious about their nipples showing through or being outlined inside their clothes. Perhaps that's what's happening to your daughter. IMO, it's just part of becoming aware of your body and soon-to-hit puberty.