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View Full Version : Disabled boy took his own life after he was mugged and bullied



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Civic
09-26-2011, 05:53 PM
Everyone needs to take bullying seriously, teachers, schools admin, parents, students - everyone. Bullying doesn't happen exclusively at schools, it also happens at extra-curricular activities, ice rinks, buses, trains, in the workplace, pretty much everywhere there is more than one person.

Also, anyone can be bullied, not just kids.

:respec:No argument from me on any of the above.

Badams
09-26-2011, 06:09 PM
In my opinion, they need to stop calling it "bullying" and call it what it really is...harassment, assault, stalking etc...whatever the level of the crime is. Yes, I said crime. Because if they weren't kids in school and/or school aged, that's exactly what it would be considered. "Bullying" makes it sound so trivial.

Cheylana
09-26-2011, 06:27 PM
So many tears for this poor little boy. And it really burns me up that the mugger will get off scot-free now.

Cheylana
09-26-2011, 06:29 PM
"The principal removed the accused mugger as soon as he was charged, and paired Mitchell up with an older student mentor to protect him.
Did the other kids rally around Mitchell? And if so, why not?

DarrellH
09-26-2011, 06:29 PM
So many tears for this poor little boy. And it really burns me up that the mugger will get off scot-free now.


...as will the mugger's friends!.

Civic
09-26-2011, 06:31 PM
In my opinion, they need to stop calling it "bullying" and call it what it really is...harassment, assault, stalking etc...whatever the level of the crime is. Yes, I said crime. Because if they weren't kids in school and/or school aged, that's exactly what it would be considered. "Bullying" makes it sound so trivial.

I've never thought about it this way but you're absolutely right.

tarotx
09-26-2011, 06:45 PM
In my opinion, they need to stop calling it "bullying" and call it what it really is...harassment, assault, stalking etc...whatever the level of the crime is. Yes, I said crime. Because if they weren't kids in school and/or school aged, that's exactly what it would be considered. "Bullying" makes it sound so trivial.
THIS!!

Beefcake
09-26-2011, 08:34 PM
...as will the mugger's friends!.
I've actually got more :angryfire with these kids than the original bully/attacker. The latter may have been driven by the possession, and done what he did in the heat of the moment ... perhaps he only initially intended to snag the iPod and abscond?

No excuses for the other kids, who had already seen the damage that the original attack did to this poor boy, but STILL planned and followed through with stalking and bullying (/ threatnening) him ... equally or IMO more disgusting than the mugger.

MikiAndoFan#1
09-26-2011, 08:37 PM
So sad. :wuzrobbed

Fergus
09-26-2011, 09:23 PM
Anytips to help kids?

I will be the first to admit that I know diddly-squat about raising kids, but I'll toss in my $0.02:

I started taking kickboxing lessons at a MMA gym with my niece when she was in junior high and I cannot even begin to tell you what a difference it has made in her life! She is still a thoughtful, quiet, introspective young lady, but from these lessons she has since developed confidence, grace-under-pressure, and best of all, a friggin' MEAN right hook. :D

Please know I do NOT condone violence in any way, but there is something to be said for teaching an "easy-target" kid how to stand up for themselves and, if the shit really hits the fan, defend themselves from the bullies.

Kickboxing, karate, jiu jitsu, whatever you can find in your local area (and fyi: I know they have classes at my niece's gym for kids with emotional/physical issues that require adapted instruction), I strongly recommend it not only for phsyical development, but the emotional/mental confidence it will also inspire!

(May I also say, the ab work-out the instructor makes us do as a warm-up is very hardcore but my stomach has NEVER been so flat! *Win-Win!*) ;)

MacMadame
09-26-2011, 10:31 PM
Anytips to help kids?
Send them the right school.

The right school is going to vary but you want one where your kid mostly fits in and where kids are supportive of them. Some schools have plenty of disabled students being mainstreamed and the kids are cool with it. Sometimes it depends on the disability or the personality of the kid, sometimes on the culture of the school.

The mistake I see a lot of parents making (including my own as I was bullied constantly as a child) is assuming that either the school doesn't make a difference or that it's the responsibility of the child to figure out how to deal with the bullying as some sort of "life lesson" it's important to learn.

I will say that once I applied to a private HS where people had values and approaches to live similar to mine, my social life completely turned around. I went from being teased and made fun of constantly to being popular. And I didn't change a damn thing to make that happen. I was the same person, but now I fit when where I never did at my old schools.

It's not even that I went from public to private school. If my family had moved to a different town where we fit in more, I probably would have been fine in public school there. It was just being different compounded by being sensitive that made me a target.

Twilight1
09-27-2011, 12:55 AM
This makes me so sad, I have a son that is developmentally disabled and I worry every day that he is or could be harassed/ bullied that day. What is worse is that he wouldn't be able to verbalize it to my husband or I.

What is also horrible is that my older son has to put up with the odd mean comment about his younger brother. Anyone even slightly different in the most menial way can get harassed, I just don't get it.

All I can do is listen to my older son (who is in karate and excels at it) when he has a tough day and support him the best I can. I have a meeting with the school next week to discuss my youngest IEP so I will be mentioning the comments made to my oldest. Luckily right now my youngest has a 1-1 Educational Assistant...

MacMadame
09-27-2011, 02:05 AM
This makes me so sad, I have a son that is developmentally disabled and I worry every day that he is or could be harassed/ bullied that day. What is worse is that he wouldn't be able to verbalize it to my husband or I.

Except this kid wasn't harassed until he got mugged. Then, once someone was mad at him and wanted to harass him, they used his disability against him. But before that there was no bullying going on, at least according to the article linked here.

That is true of a lot of bullying. The bullies have a reason they pick the target they do and, once they find a good target, they figure out something to pick on. If that reason goes away, they pick something else.

This really isn't a case of a boy being bullied to death for being different IMO. This is a case of a boy being traumatized by a violent event (the mugging) and not being able to recover even with help and interventions.

That's what makes it kind of chilling to me as a parent. His parents did everything "right". The school did their part. He was getting counseling. But none of it worked.

This is not what I want to hear as a parent. I want to hear "if you do X, everything will be okay."

Twilight1
09-27-2011, 03:53 AM
IMHO he was an easier target because of his disability for the attack to get to the Iphone. So I firmly believe his disability was used against him by the initial attack. Also, at that age kids know who the easier targets are and I seriously doubt this attacker out of the blue decided to attack him for the IPhone.

Anita18
09-27-2011, 10:09 AM
Send them the right school.

The right school is going to vary but you want one where your kid mostly fits in and where kids are supportive of them. Some schools have plenty of disabled students being mainstreamed and the kids are cool with it. Sometimes it depends on the disability or the personality of the kid, sometimes on the culture of the school.

The mistake I see a lot of parents making (including my own as I was bullied constantly as a child) is assuming that either the school doesn't make a difference or that it's the responsibility of the child to figure out how to deal with the bullying as some sort of "life lesson" it's important to learn.

I will say that once I applied to a private HS where people had values and approaches to live similar to mine, my social life completely turned around. I went from being teased and made fun of constantly to being popular. And I didn't change a damn thing to make that happen. I was the same person, but now I fit when where I never did at my old schools.

It's not even that I went from public to private school. If my family had moved to a different town where we fit in more, I probably would have been fine in public school there. It was just being different compounded by being sensitive that made me a target.
I agree with this. I was very shy as a child, very quiet, and I had a stutter (still do). I was bullied a bit when I was in elementary and middle school because I was a goody-two-shoes and didn't want to bully others like some girls tried to get me to do. And I was socially awkward. But it was just snide comments here and there, nothing too bad.

I think us moving to a high school that emphasized academics above all, helped a lot. There, you were looked up to if you were smart, and I was smart. Didn't matter if I fit in otherwise - if the other kids respect you, they'll leave you alone. Or bug you about helping them with homework, but that's tolerable. :P

Thinking that you're letting the bullies "win" by moving to a new school is the wrong approach. By the time those kids hit 20, they'll either not care anymore, or if they do, they'll be total losers that you wouldn't want to be associating with anyway. There's just no reasoning with an immature kid who gets his rocks off abusing other kids, and I don't see the point in telling bullied kids that they need to learn how to stand up for themselves. From my experience, adults are a lot easier to deal with, and I never had to navigate through physically abusive bullying as a kid to learn that. That's just unnecessary.

Just get them out of a harmful situation and into a supportive one where they can figure themselves out in peace.