View Full Version : Continue the Story 2011!
07-23-2011, 06:17 PM
07-23-2011, 06:39 PM
"Oh the humanity!!!", said Prince Harry standing in the background. How....
07-23-2011, 10:50 PM
07-23-2011, 11:18 PM
...the hell did Harry and what's-her-name come to be at the No-Tell Motel in Moscow, wondered Nicki. Could it be a hallucination? Maybe he was having the DT's and should consider going to rehab, after all. But no, they must really be standing there, because his motley group of fellow skaters were staring at them, apparently transfixed. Florent was trembling all over, as usual, Nicki noticed. What a wuss! Nicki watched in disbelief as Florent knelt on the ground. What the hell was he doing?
"Your highnesses!" he squeaked. He went into a low curtsy. "Eet eez great honor to see prince and princess!"
Brian sneered at Florent, Harry and what's-her-name in turn. Why was Florent bowing to them? Ridiculous! He, Joubert, would never bow to anyone. He was the king of the ice and everyone could bow to him. Bien sur!
"Errr, hello!" said Harry. "We are lost, and we were wondering if.......
07-24-2011, 01:38 AM
you could direct us to Red Square? Sir Paul McCartney is performing a concert there and my wife," who broke out in a beaming smile, "and I are the guests of honor."
"I take you!" Miki leapt in a triple lutz over Nikolai's head and grabbed a royal in each hand, leading them away. "You marry in secret? Must tell me all about it. I to be married much soonest. Want wedding gown like Kate, but will marry secret if he marry me more soon zees like." Johnny Weir was waiting for her outside in a limo, and he was thrilled have the Prince and new Duchess/Princess/Whateveress join them.
"Fabulous to meet you," he declared, kissing each of them on the hand. "Now we will go for a quick stop at Prada before the concert."
"Pravda, don't you mean?" queried Harry.
"No, Prada, my most fabulous Prada," replied Johnny. Stella has the secret concert shirts there. Paul is my buddy now (see the original Continue the Story for this PETA PETA PETA tale), but you must not tell him I still wear fur. Miki, Paul will do the music for your wedding, Stella will do your dress, and I will be your flower boy."
Meanwhile, FloMo was reluctantly speaking to Dick Button, who was scolding him for using vocal music in his LP and stating his firm opinion that FloMo had personally set back men's singles 83 years.
"It is your duty to leave the sport different and better because you were in it," insisted Uncle Dickie. "What have you to say for yourself?"
"I-I'm sorry, Monsieur Dick," stammered FloMo. "But I was forced to call you by..."
07-24-2011, 06:06 AM
..."By, umm, Scary....." Florent's voice trailed off as Babs shot him a look that could kill. He took a deep breath and tried again. "By Barbara, umm, ummm..." Merde! He would never finish a sentence if that femme horible did not stop staring at him.
"Ooh, ouch!" he squealed, as Barbara whacked him on the side of his head. "Why you do zees?"
"What, what?" demanded Dick. "Why did I do what? Explain yourself, twinkletoes!"
"Ooh, ouch!" Florent squealed again, as Nicki whacked him on the other side of his head.
"Get on with it, da!" ordered Nicki. "I cannot stay here all night, I need more drink!"
"You know, this conversation doesn't sing!" chortled Dick. "I think I'll hang up now."
"Mais non, attends! I tell everything. Barbara Fusar-Poli make me do it. She say you must come to Moscow, we have beeg surprise for you!"
"Barbara? That's really spiffy!" said Dick. "What's the surprise?"
"Eez big surprise! Eez.........
07-24-2011, 05:44 PM
she wants, GULP!" Babs took FloMo's fingers into a "live long and prosper" position and spread them apart, inducing great pain. "I meen, NOUS, WE, want, you to come and we eenvite Mademoiselle Julia Sebestyen to come and be impregnated by you! You have still zee sperm, oui?" FloMo glanced over to Brian J., who held out a big bottle of blue pills, left over from that unfortunate ladybug incident (the earlier C.T.S. again.) "We have all zee Viaga-ra you need!"
07-25-2011, 06:43 PM
Everyone put their hands over their ears as Mama Joubert let out a blood-curdling scream. "Brian! What eez zees? Why you take zees pills? Quelle horreur!"
"Maman, calm yourself," laughed Brian. "Take zee tranquilizer. They are not mine, I find them in Nicki's apartment!"
Florent clapped his hands over his mouth to keep himself from bursting into hysterical laughter. This was rich! Nicki on Viagra! He, Florent, had known Nicki was a deviant all along. The dirtbag!
"Zees pills are not mine!" shouted Nicki. "Nyet! They belong to Florent!"
"Mais non! You are liar! I am not the one having trouble with, how you say, my equipment!" said Florent indignantly. "I am hot and you are not! Look, eez your name on zee bottle!"
Nicki snatched at the bottle furiously. "You are thief! Give me back my pills! Thees instant!"
Brian laughed and said, "Wheee, catch!" as he tossed the bottle to Babs. "Try and get them, pervert!"
As Nicki lunged for the bottle, Florent saw his chance to escape these insane people. He raced for the door and.........
07-26-2011, 01:02 AM
tripped on a patch of ice. Starttled, he...
07-26-2011, 01:52 AM
---could not have possibly tripped on a patch of ice, since it was the end of July and close to 100 degrees outside. Mon Dieu! he thought. Would he never escape this horrible place and these insane people? He was beginning to think he had bad karma or something. Bien sur! Maybe he should look into getting a feng shui consultant. But in the meantime, he had to get away from here,rapidement!
If he hadn't ran over a patch of ice, what had made him trip? He looked down to see that he had actually tripped over.......a person. Stifling a scream of horror, he realized that it was..........
07-26-2011, 03:08 AM
"What are you doing here, Dai?" asked FloMo as he helped his fellow skater to his feet.
"I am here to practice my new long program. Patrick Chan has stepped up his game; I must step up too. I still have more artistic impression than Chan. He skate on ice; I be ice."
"You lie, my friend," observed FloMo, brushing off Daisuke's bottom. causing the Japanese skater to flinch.
"You are very observant," remarked Dai. "I am in Moscow to rescue Miki from the evil Morosov."
FloMo began to cry. "Oui, he is evil," he sobbed. "I did not realize it before, but it is true."
"Will you help me?" asked Dai.
"Mais oui! Of course. But how can I help?"
07-27-2011, 12:07 AM
"This is very secret," whispered Daisuke. "Now,"
"WAIT A MINUTE!" exclaimed FloMo. "I just realized something!"
Meanwhile, back at the sleazy inn, Babs, Mme Joubert and son, and Nikolai all looked at each other with even more astonishment than on the face of this cat at 0:20 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18X53XyV3Z0).
"WAIT A MINUTO!" cried Babs and company. The screen would split now, if this were a movie instead of a written story. They all suddenly were aware of just who else had just been dragged away from the scene by Miki.
"SHAE-LYNN GOT MARRIED TO PRINCE HARRY!"
07-27-2011, 08:35 AM
"Shae Lynn got married to Prince Harry!" shouted Nicki drunkenly.
"Ridiculo!" sneered Scary Babs. "You are drunk, you are having allucinazione eef you think you are seeing your ex-wife. You need to go to detox, pronto!"
"Oui!" added Joubert. "C'est femme is what's-her-name, not zee Canadian! Why would she come here to see you? You cheat on her, she divorce you, never want to see you again. Ha!"
"Oui," added Maman Joubert. "You are not a nice man. You ruin zee phone call to Button, you go with call-girl. Your girlfriend run off to Red Square because you drinking in sleazy motel. You take zee Viagra and try to blame zee skinny boy Florent!"
"Florent!" yelled Nicki. "Where eez he? I tell him come to Moscow because I have secret plan, da! Where eez he?"
"He ran away when you try to get your pills," laughed Babs. "You never see him again!"
"Nyet! I must find him!" sputtered Nicki.
"Bonne chance!" said Joubert.
"You must help me find him!" Nicki shouted as he staggered to the door.
As he reached the street he called out "Taxi!"
The others just stared as a cab pulled up and Nicki got in.
"Idiota!" said Babs. "He will never find him."
"Mais non," agreed Joubert.
"We should follow him!" declared Maman Joubert. "He is bad man. I could whack him in zee head!"
"Si!" said Babs.
"Oui, d'accord!" agreed Brian.
The trio stormed to the street and shouted "Taxi!" just as a red car pulled up.
As they hopped in the driver said, "Where are you going in such a hurry?"
Brian was horrified to see that the driver was......
07-27-2011, 06:19 PM
"I got fired," he shrugged with only the slightest hint of shame. "Now I'm trying different careers. Where to, friends?"
"Follow that cab, vite!" ordered Brian J. Mme J. whacked Tom Z. on the head with her purse, on behalf of millions of skating fans all over the world. Nicki's cab pulled up to a curb where two women and a man were standing, waiting to board.
"Noooooo!" screeched Babs, drowning out the brakes of Tom Z.'s cab as it too came to a halt. "No get inna the cab! No get inna zata cab!" The trio turned to the Tom's cab and started climbing in."
"You OK wissa seex inna cabba?" Babs asked Tom. "Violat-a the roolez?
"Rules, schmules," chuckled Tom, driving off with Babs, the Jouberts, and his new passengers...
08-03-2011, 03:47 PM
Peter Oppegard, Karen Kwan, and her sister, Michelle, the KWEEN!
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