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Anita18
06-02-2011, 11:21 PM
Dear Bailey, I have advanced cancer myself. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts in prayers.

One of the most important things -- to me -- was that I needed people to respect my decisions. Getting cancer treatment is awful and not getting cancer treatment is awful. As someone with advacned cancer I have found that there were no goood choices, just a choice of 2 poor options.

Sometimes the best thing the family can do is to help the person with cancer figure out what is right for him or her, and then to accept whatever the person with cancer decides -- even if it is not what you would do.

Peace to you and your family.
Absolutely. You have to make sure that the decisions you're making are for the best for the other person, not for you. And it can be hard.

Japanfan
06-03-2011, 08:27 AM
Hugs, Bailey and Deirdre.

I think you've got some good advice here Bailey and hope you can get some time off work and get lots of support.

The only think I can add is to do research into diet and vitamins/herbs - maybe there are some things your mom could do that would make her feel better or be stronger.

numbers123
06-03-2011, 10:12 AM
Dear Bailey, I have advanced cancer myself. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts in prayers.

One of the most important things -- to me -- was that I needed people to respect my decisions. Getting cancer treatment is awful and not getting cancer treatment is awful. As someone with advacned cancer I have found that there were no goood choices, just a choice of 2 poor options.

Sometimes the best thing the family can do is to help the person with cancer figure out what is right for him or her, and then to accept whatever the person with cancer decides -- even if it is not what you would do. Peace to you and your family.

you will be on my thoughts. I do think that it is important that family members be supportive of whatever decision you make. Even if it is hard for them to accept. As you say with advanced caner ther are only 2 options not good options. I hope that whichever choice you have made you have a pain management team to support you.

I wish my aunts and uncles could have accepted my grandmother's choice and not pressure her into a choice she really didn't want. Whatever decision you have made, I am certain that it is the best one for you.

Buzz
06-04-2011, 12:04 PM
I am so sorry Bailey and my heart and prayers go out to you and your mom at this troubled time of your lives.

Wyliefan
06-04-2011, 12:07 PM
I'm praying for you too, mikemba.

attyfan
06-04-2011, 01:33 PM
I'm praying for you too, mikemba.

I am, also.

iloveemoticons
06-04-2011, 01:44 PM
Adding my prayers for Bailey and mikemba.

Grannyfan
06-04-2011, 02:53 PM
And Bailey, make sure you take time to tell your mom how you feel about her. Share loving moments that you can draw on for strength. Read to her and pray with her. Make sure that no matter what happens, you have no regrets.

I understand very well what you and your family are going through, and I am glad things are looking better since you first posted. I will keep your mom in my prayers.

Marilou said it above much better than I could. My sisters and I lost our baby brother to cancer last August. His was a rare case with very little protocol for treatment, and it never responded well to anything they tried. What I am thankful for is that we had time for those moments Marilou wrote about. That is my best consolation.

I will be praying for the very best results for your mom.