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skipaway
05-30-2011, 08:15 PM
Your mother and your family will be in my prayers. I'm sorry for what you are going through. (((Bailey)))

Gypsy
05-30-2011, 08:33 PM
Your Mom, You & All your Family are in my thoughts & prayers!

overedge
05-30-2011, 08:36 PM
<<bailey and family>>

ChelleC
05-30-2011, 08:38 PM
(((Bailey)) praying for you and your mom!

Cachoo
05-30-2011, 09:01 PM
My prayers for you and your mother and your family.

MikiAndoFan#1
05-30-2011, 09:13 PM
:( Your mother is in my thoughts. My best wishes to your mother, you and your family.

Bailey_
05-30-2011, 09:18 PM
Thank you all for your kind words and your knowledge. I appreciate all your comments and your prayers. My mom's name is Deirdre.

numbers123
05-30-2011, 09:46 PM
(((hugs for you and your mom)))

Your mom might be resisting the hospitalization because she believes that she wouldn't leave the hospital. It depends on her experiences with hospitalizations after the diagnosis of cancer. It may be that she is feeling out of control of the situation (because she is - the cancer is causing her to have many procedures/surgeries) and staying out of the hospital or refusing to go is one way that she feels in control.

As hard as it will be, talk to your mom about her wishes and if possible be non-judgemental if she really doesn't want to undergo chemotherapy. It is a hard discussion, one that I wish that my grandmother could have had with her children. She told me that she didn't want to go through chemo, but her children insisted that she did.

If possible be present with your mom when she has chemotherapy explained and ask your questions too. However, with HIPAA physicians may not want to have you present. When my mom underwent som surgery 2 years ago, the MD wasn't to keen about talking to my dad with me in the room. Apparently mom neglected to tell her doctor it was ok to talk with me.

The mmore.org site (multiple myeloma opportunities for research and education) has a lot of information about the disease and current/potential treatments. There is a tab for caregivers and clinical trials. Even if there is no support group in your area, there are on-line support groups that you can join in discussions.

Do tell someone at work, they can be of support to you. Also contact your HR group - they may have Employee Assistance set-up that can cover short term resources for you.

Encourage your mom to write down all her questions, and ask if she can have the nurse write down the answers to those questions. You may get answers, but forget them which is why it is a good idea to have someone write down the answers. She should also get the name of all medications she is being given as well as take in all the medications - prescription AND over the counter meds. Sometimes multi-vitamins interact with chemotherapy drugs. And if she is taking anything for pain for example tylenol can be toxic to the liver if taken in high doses and some chemotherapy drugs are filtered through the liver. Also any alcohol - even if it is only a glass of wine once a week or whatever. She should also indicate on the list of medications which doctor prescribed what drug - it will help in the coordination of care, especially given that she has had so many procedures done recently.

Your mom should also indicate any ongoing treatments that anyone in your home is receiving.

Long post, I hope it helps and I will certainly keep you and your family in my thoughts. Feel free to PM if you have additional questions or need to vent.

made_in_canada
05-30-2011, 09:49 PM
((Bailey)) Others have given really good advice. As far as coping, make sure that you take care of yourself. Delegate what you can, ease off on other commitments and make sure that you are eating properly and getting some exercise. Finding someone to talk to who isn't emotionally involved can be really helpful too.

Bailey_
05-30-2011, 10:05 PM
Thanks for the websites - super helpful. I've been trying not to google search too much because I can really freak myself out! I'm quite sure my mom doesn't want to go to hospital because she is worried she will never leave, but I'm worried about her ability to be safe at home right now. It's a very tough balance to achieve. And, I have learned this week I am surrounded by family and friends and coworkers who have been so supportive and kind. That is definitely something good to come from this whole experience. Thanks again everyone,

Wiery
05-31-2011, 12:46 AM
You've gotten excellent advice! :) My prayers are with you and your mom. :(

Aussie Willy
05-31-2011, 12:49 AM
Sorry to hear about your mum.

millyskate
05-31-2011, 12:50 AM
Praying for you and your family, Bailey... That is so hard.

DFJ
05-31-2011, 01:15 AM
My mom's name is Deirdre.

Such a pretty name. We're all here for you...I'm sure you know that. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom.

Bailey_
05-31-2011, 01:17 AM
Her name is Irish although our family is Scottish (I always thought it was Scottish until I just did a search!). She jokes that her father never did learn how to spell her name. Most people have great difficulty pronouncing her name. But yes, I think it's beautiful too.