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View Full Version : Parents Keep Child's Gender A Secret Following Birth (and other incredulous stuff)



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genevieve
06-10-2011, 01:54 AM
It does not sound to me like they have a rigid plan on how long this decision (of keeping the children's gender a secret) will last. They're just taking some time to give people space to think about why they cling so tightly to needing to label someone by gender.

And from some of the responses, people definitely cling very tightly to the idea of gender.

It sounds like the parents want the world to be a better place for their children, and they are taking action. I commend them for the strength of their convictions.

The resentment of having to explain... (whatever, fill in the blank) seems to me to be about someone actually have to think anew about a subject that has previously been labelled, sealed and packaged in an easy way. Now we have to stop...think...and re-think previous ideas and beliefs that we have been taught - which might not actually make sense. This takes everyone out of their comfort zone. Which makes some people angry...defensive... (this could go on and on)!

When you think of previous groups of oppressed individuals, looking back now it's clear that the abuse directed at these people was wrong. But it took someone to stand up and say that something needed to change. I'm wondering if the phrase, "don't shoot the messenger" is apt. I'll have to think about that one. Your thoughts?

Bullying. I find it interesting that most people in this thread seem to be angry at the parents for letting their children be whoever they are as opposed to be angry with anyone who would dare to direct any form of mis-treatment or abuse at a child. It seems to be blaming the one receiving the abuse, rather than directing anger towards someone who is acting in an improper, hurtful way. (There, I've managed to explain that without using the words, "blaming the victim"...oops!!!) :lol:
So much word to this post :cheer2:


I remember when I took Gender Studies in college being taught that sex (male/female) is predetermined but gender (man/woman, boy/girl) is not because gender is socially constructed.
This is correct.


I'd like to know how the parents would react if the child were to identify with a gender and display gender-consistent stereotypes. If Storm tells someone, "I'm a girl", will the parents be okay, or will they be like, "Storm, you are not a girl. You are not a boy. You do not have a gender and I'm very angry when you say you're a girl"? If Storm is biologically male and plays with trucks, will the parents be okay, or will they force him to put away his trucks because it's consistent with the gender stereotype?
I still don't get why people think this is going to be some experiment that lasts years.

FigureSpins
06-10-2011, 03:33 AM
And then there's Storm Large, (http://stormlarge.com/) who is definitely a girl. :)
Meh, her real name is Susan Storm Large. To me, that's probably a family name that she's using as a stage name.
Since I've never heard of her before, I'd still think the kid in question was a boy.

I used to work with someone whose middle name was "snow." She adopted it as her first after she divorced. Oddly enough, her given first was Susan.

MacMadame
06-10-2011, 04:56 AM
How could have they believed that the story/their choices wouldn't have elicited a reaction?

I think they thought they'd do an interview, it would cause some discussion and then it would be over. It probably would have gone that way if it wasn't a slow news day. ;)

heckles
06-10-2011, 05:41 AM
I'm not that worried over whether Storm will be a girl. I'm more worried over whether Storm will be homely. Judging from the parents and siblings, it's not looking good.

PeterG
06-10-2011, 07:18 AM
I'm not that worried over whether Storm will be a girl. I'm more worried over whether Storm will be homely. Judging from the parents and siblings, it's not looking good.

Aw heckles, you have such a big heart. Worrying about the little guy (umm...gal??) so much! Big kisses! :D

Japanfan
06-10-2011, 09:43 AM
I think it's a neat and interesting concept. It's not as if the parents are going to hide Storm's sex forever - they are just giving s/he an opportunity for early development in the absence of external forces gendering her/him. People do treat babies differently based on whether they are male or female and that impacts their development. To be free of that for the first few years is liberating.

I think it's sweet for a family to co-sleep, as well. It many cultures its the norm.

They are certainly an unconventional family and the kids are likely to be unusual - some will argue that the unconventionality could be a disadvantage, but so long as they allow the children to learn to think for themselves, I would not agree.

Nan
06-10-2011, 02:58 PM
I would be concerned the child is learning to hide it's sex and may at some point apply negative thoughts to sexuality in general. I'm not sure how healthy that is.

danceronice
06-10-2011, 03:21 PM
Meh, her real name is Susan Storm Large. To me, that's probably a family name that she's using as a stage name.

Sounds more like the parents are Marvel Comics fans. Susan "Sue" Storm Richards is The Invisible Woman in Fantastic Four. They've been around since the 1960s as characters.

And there would be far worse things to name a child if you're naming them for comic-book characters. Nicolas Cage named his son...was it Kal-el or Jor-el? In any case, after either Superman's 'real' name or Superman's father. At least Sue Storm sounds relatively normal...even sticking with Marvel, better that than "Jubilee" or "Syrin" or...Wanda.

antmanb
06-10-2011, 03:29 PM
The thread on the "sissy boy" experiment reminded me of this one. The key difference is forcing a gender viewpoint--that viewpoint can be "genderless"--on a kid versus trying to raise them to not think that their biological sex limits what they can do, how they can dress, what they can like, etc.

I'd like to know how the parents would react if the child were to identify with a gender and display gender-consistent stereotypes. If Storm tells someone, "I'm a girl", will the parents be okay, or will they be like, "Storm, you are not a girl. You are not a boy. You do not have a gender and I'm very angry when you say you're a girl"? If Storm is biologically male and plays with trucks, will the parents be okay, or will they force him to put away his trucks because it's consistent with the gender stereotype?

I'll withhold judgment until then.

I think the point has previously been made that they are not hiding the child's sex from itself (how could that happen?) or that they are trying to tell the child that it is neither male nor female, they are simply not telling third parties what gender the child is. Apparently this makes many people uncomfortable.

mpal2
06-10-2011, 04:55 PM
I think one of the problems people would have when they meet the child is that we just don't have the language for gender neutral. It just sounds wrong to call a child "it". Every pronoun is male, female or inanimate. Repeated use of the name sounds awkward too.

I don't know that I would be uncomfortable with them not wanting to me to know the child's sex or treating the child as gender neutral. I would have a hard time verbally talking about their child at all. It would change the entire way I use the English language and I don't think you can judge where the uneasiness comes from until the language is established.

PeterG
06-10-2011, 07:16 PM
Luckily humans are one of the most literate species on the planet and definitely have what it takes to articulate whatever needs to be communicated. Go humans!!! :respec:

MacMadame
06-10-2011, 10:55 PM
I have a lot of untraditional friends raising kids and their kids are all growing up to be wonderful adults. In spite of the gloom and doom their more traditional friends and family have predicted since the beginning, I might add.

Japanfan
06-10-2011, 11:01 PM
Luckily humans are one of the most literate species on the planet and definitely have what it takes to articulate whatever needs to be communicated. Go humans!!! :respec:

:D:D

PeterG
06-10-2011, 11:53 PM
Luckily humans are one of the most literate species on the planet and definitely have what it takes to articulate whatever needs to be communicated. Go humans!!! :respec:


:D:D

Well, I personally think that we have it all over rhinoceri. But that's just my opinion. (I haven't googled it or anything.)

gkelly
06-10-2011, 11:56 PM
Well, I personally think that we have it all over rhinoceri. But that's just my opinion. (I haven't googled it or anything.)

I'm sure the rhinoceri are busy googling as we speak. In multiple languages, some of which have only one grammatical gender and others that have seven or more.