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View Full Version : Parents Keep Child's Gender A Secret Following Birth (and other incredulous stuff)



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mpal2
05-25-2011, 06:00 PM
I see a lot of people automatically assuming that home schooling = social awkwardness. It all depends on the outside activities. My mom homeschooled us through grade school and enrolled us in a lot of extracurricular activities to develop friendships. She was a certified teacher and felt she could provide a better education than the schools in our area.

I asked to go to the high school because I wanted to be part of a graduating class and she had no problems with that. However, I did skate through the 1st 2-3 years in most subjects because I already learned them at home in grade school. It was a little depressing to feel that I wasn't learning anything and almost reconsidered attending school. I already knew most of the kids in my class from the extracurricular activities so the whole social aspect wasn't really making up for the lack of mental challenges. I did end up with some more advanced math classes, which my mom wasn't good at teaching, so I stayed in school in the end.

Prancer
05-25-2011, 07:11 PM
Why is it they need to tell people that Storm is a boy or a girl in Cuba?

My guess is that it's because Spanish is a language that has gender--nearly all the words are masculine or feminine. A child is either a nino (boy) or nina (girl), for example, but there is no gender-neutral term.

jeffisjeff
05-25-2011, 07:29 PM
My guess is that it's because Spanish is a language that has gender--nearly all the words are masculine or feminine. A child is either a nino (boy) or nina (girl), for example, but there is no gender-neutral term.

Good point! That may be it, although the wording in the article implies that the parents are willing to answer the "boy or girl?" question in Cuba (with an answer determined by coin flip) but not in Canada. Could just be the writing, I guess.

minx
05-25-2011, 07:44 PM
I noticed someone mentioned the trip to Cuba and need for a passport. For sure there are other people who know what Storm is, because there's no way to a passport without a birth certificate and it's only M or F on the birth certificate.

I think the parents are activists and by their actions are influencing their children, although they're trying really hard not to influence anything. This itself is an influence. In Toronto, Storm of the hipster parents will be as normal as the next kid.

RockTheTassel
05-25-2011, 07:48 PM
Back to the article. Interesting read. I'm not really sure what I think about it. I think you can allow your kids to be who they are without making such a big deal about it. Sure, some parents really lay on the roles, but lots just let their kids be kids. Both my girls played with boys and girls when they were young. Now they are older (teen and preteen) they still hang out with both. One likes typically girl type clothes, the other like sweats in black, black, and well, black! Toys were just toys in our house. They played with what they wanted and the ones that were never used went to goodwill.

ITA with this. Growing up, my brother did traditional boy things but was also really into playing with barbie dolls and sometimes liked to dress up in girls' clothes. My parents didn't have a problem with it and were happy to buy him the toys he liked, both "girl" and "boy" toys. And this was a conservative Christian household. I think most families like to see their children do what they like to do and aren't trying to shove them into a pink or blue box.

It's nice that the parents in this article are supportive of Storm, but all the fuss about not revealing the sex of their child is ridiculous and doesn't help their cause. The people that have a problem with children breaking out of traditional gender roles aren't going to suddenly see the light just because these crazy parents are keeping little Storm's gender a secret. This strikes me as a huge plea for attention. :rolleyes:

Marge_Simpson
05-25-2011, 07:56 PM
The parents need to read this book ASAP:

http://www.amazon.com/As-Nature-Made-Him-Raised/dp/0061120561/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1306349848&sr=1-1

VIETgrlTerifa
05-25-2011, 08:20 PM
The parents need to read this book ASAP:

http://www.amazon.com/As-Nature-Made-Him-Raised/dp/0061120561/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1306349848&sr=1-1

That is a totally different situation from what the parents are doing.

David Reimer's situation is incredibly tragic and shows what happens when society tries to tell you what gender you are when deep down you know it's the wrong one for you.

With these parents, all they're doing is trying not to implement a gender label onto the child until later on when the child can tell the parents what he/she prefers for himself/herself. They aren't dictating what the child is or who the child should be. I think all the assumptions that the parents are never going to tell the child the differences between the sexes or allow him/her to know what sex he/she is are really baseless. A lot of the worries I've been reading in this thread really have nothing to do with what is actually written in the above article.

Norlite
05-25-2011, 11:54 PM
A lot of the worries I've been reading in this thread really have nothing to do with what is actually written in the above article.



I agree. there's nothing in the article to indicate that the parents are keeping the sex from the child him or herself, just that they prefer not to have strangers or society try and dictate how the child behaves wrt traditional gender roles.

I think a lot of the decision they've made with this younger child stems from the problems their older son has had. I just think they're trying to avoid that, as misguided as some might this it is.

But I agree with Jenny. Once someone starts giving interviews to the media, and I believe I saw something one the front page of the Toronto Star today, I lose a little respect for them.

rjblue
05-26-2011, 01:11 AM
In a rare event, a yahoo poster summed this up:

one should not conduct social experiments on one's children.
But we DO conduct social experiments on children everytime we change how they are schooled/educated. People try different method of socialising children all the time, and collect data on the results. Look at just the stories from the small amount of posters on this board. These parents are not doing anything that threatens the welfare of their children.

All the homeschooled kids I've met have been SO WEIRD and socially awkward is puttIng it mildly. Some succeeded academically and some didn't.I don't see how a set of homeschooled kids, as a group, would not stand out as different from a group of children who've been in public school. Their parents are different, and people tend to inherit their personality traits from their parents. The ones who were weird would probably be just as weird had they gone through formal schooling.

Rafter
05-26-2011, 01:28 AM
This is completely whacked. These parents are completely selfish and most definitely NOT doing what's in the best interest of their child.

There are definitely some weirdo hippy types in various areas of Toronto so somehow this does not surprise me much. :rolleyes:

Gazpacho
05-26-2011, 02:18 AM
Was there any indication that the parents had decided not to tell anyone the child's sex before the birth?

If not, my lingering suspicion is that the child is intersexual.

heckles
05-26-2011, 03:19 AM
Was there any indication that the parents had decided not to tell anyone the child's sex before the birth?

Probably, since these people are way flaky:


The only people who know are Storm’s brothers, Jazz, 5, and Kio, 2, a close family friend and the two midwives who helped deliver the baby in a birthing pool at their Toronto home on New Year’s Day.

There is so much wrong with this sentence.

manleywoman
05-26-2011, 03:26 AM
This conversation is very timely, considering an article in this months' Smithsonian Magazine about when girls started wearing pink and boys wearing blue. (http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/When-Did-Girls-Start-Wearing-Pink.html) I thought this was particularly interesting:


ittle Franklin Delano Roosevelt sits primly on a stool, his white skirt spread smoothly over his lap, his hands clasping a hat trimmed with a marabou feather. Shoulder-length hair and patent leather party shoes complete the ensemble.

We find the look unsettling today, yet social convention of 1884, when FDR was photographed at age 2 1/2, dictated that boys wore dresses until age 6 or 7, also the time of their first haircut. Franklin’s outfit was considered gender-neutral.


And there's a great photo of FDR in a dress and long hair.

jeffisjeff
05-26-2011, 03:44 AM
And there's a great photo of FDR in a dress and long hair.

The dress and hair are nothing compared to those shoes! :lol:

essence_of_soy
05-26-2011, 04:37 AM
I have a strange need to run off and play with my Barbie dolls after reading this.