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mag
05-03-2011, 07:07 PM
...I don't really see that many young girls dressing like tramps around here. Although I will say that it seems that those that do usually have a mother or some other female caregiver around that's dressed questionably.

This.

I have found that saying "no, you can't have that it is not appropriate" works wonders while shopping with my girls. But then, I strongly believe that as a parent that I'm the one in charge. I'm not a tyrant, but I have very clear guidelines. I now have a teen and a preteen and I find I have to say "no" much less often. They know what is appropriate and they also know how to break the rules to show their own individuality without crossing over into inappropriate stuff - whether it be clothing or behaviour.

Sllightly OT, but I do the same thing with the behaviour they see on TV. We talk about the way TV characters talk to each other and whether or not that sort of language and tone is appropriate or not. They love Wizards of Waverly Place, I Carly, Hannah Montana, etc. but they know that the way those character talk is not appropriate and that I won't tolerate the tone or the language from them.

ryanbfan
05-03-2011, 08:22 PM
Depends on the size of your chest and the coverage of the suit ;) If you're rocking DD's and they're falling out of your top, well yes that's pretty tasteless. However, I wear bikinis with a little bit of extra help and it isn't trashy. I have barely any breasts and look like a stick though.

I am not going to reveal my bra size on here but I am 'gifted', I guess you could say. ;)

But I think if you are like an A, go for the push up. I think there's certain sizes that do not need to be pushed up. I can see the good in the push up swim suit tops but I can see it being 'abused' also. I guess I can see both sides of the issue.

genevieve
05-03-2011, 09:43 PM
I now have a teen and a preteen and I find I have to say "no" much less often. They know what is appropriate and they also know how to break the rules to show their own individuality without crossing over into inappropriate stuff - whether it be clothing or behaviour.
If they are old enough to get an allowance or earn their own money, they may be engaging in the time-honored teen tradition of buying the clothese mom won't allow and changing their clothes as soon as they get to school :lol:

gkelly
05-03-2011, 10:04 PM
But I think if you are like an A, go for the push up. I think there's certain sizes that do not need to be pushed up.

"Held up" may be more to the point, if the alternative is drooping below the waist. :yikes:

mag
05-04-2011, 12:48 AM
If they are old enough to get an allowance or earn their own money, they may be engaging in the time-honored teen tradition of buying the clothese mom won't allow and changing their clothes as soon as they get to school :lol:

I should clarify by saying that I don't always like what they choose. One child lives in sweats, t-shirts, and fleeces, usually black or gray and hates brushing her hair. She often looks like she has just rolled out of bed! The other has her own sense of style and has become quite the fashionista. The current hair colour is a bit :yikes: but it will grow out and is preferable to a tattoo! In both cases they often choose things that I don't like but they are not inappropriate. Life would be very difficult if I insisted they wear what I think they should wear! There is a huge variety of styles and colours out there for them to choose from - I'm confident they don't feel restricted. I like to think it is good parenting, but it is probably just dumb luck that clothes have yet to become an issue in our house.

genevieve
05-04-2011, 12:50 AM
I'm sure it's a combo of both, with emphasis on the former. :)

FigureSpins
05-04-2011, 01:32 AM
A lot of the comments on this article say they would love to dress their daughters in age-appropriate clothing, if they could find any in the store. Is this true? Is it that hard to find nice (i.e. not Junior Slut) clothes for girls?

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/19/granderson.children.dress/index.html

As the person who goes into the Macy's children's section and asks the clerks "Where is the opaque department?" annually, I say yes, it's hard to find modest clothing for girls, especially after they turn 9 and won't wear the cute little sundresses and shirt-and-leggings sets. Since most of the clerks in NY and NJ don't know what "opaque' means, they usually point me somewhere, which makes it an annual pleasure.

My kids are slim and a little short, but proportionate. They're not even 13 yet. I picked up LARGE size t-shirts at Kohl's in their Juniors department and they were skin-tight on my daughters. The dressing room clerk, hearing my "that's mislabeled" comment, said "That's how they wear them nowaways." Found better-sized ones at Five Below that were just as witty and cute, without the snarky salesclerks.

We went easter dress shopping for them at Marshall's, TJ Maxx and Target. I just wanted a simple shift or a pretty pastel print sundress. Everything was spaghetti straps, tissue-thin and transparent. This was in NYC - it's COLD up there on Easter; what are the buyers thinking?

I blame it on the buyers for the stores. They're out of touch with at least my segment of the market. I sewed my DDs a few skirts for their upcoming birthday because everything I saw was either really long and pricey or really short and pricey. Too complicated - it was easier to take a skirt they liked and use it as a pattern.

Good places for find well-made, age-appropriate clothes: Belk, JC Penney (at times) and Sears, but you should join their frequent-buyer plans and get their credit cards because there are real discounts there at times.

ETA: The best thing about synchro is that they have lots of plain black stretch pants that fit and go with anything.

ITA about there being a divide between what I'd like them to wear and what they want to wear. I let them buy "skinny jeans" this past August, just to prove my point. By October, they didn't fit anymore and were giving them stomachaches. Now they buy the jeans with a little room for growth. One of my daughters is a girly-girl fashion plate and the other is a tomboy, so I have it pretty easy compared to my friends.

ryanbfan
05-04-2011, 02:33 AM
"Held up" may be more to the point, if the alternative is drooping below the waist. :yikes:

Haha ewww!

UGG
05-04-2011, 02:51 AM
My best friend's daughter is going into 9th grade (she is 14) and she ALWAYS looks age appropriate. I think she shops at Ambercrombie and Hollister and she always looks adorable and like a 14 year old. Like someone else said, I dont know how these stores could be considered slutty unless girls are buying things too small.

Prancer
05-04-2011, 02:57 AM
I don't know if other schools have dress codes, but here, bare midriffs, short skirts and shorts, spaghetti straps, exposed hip bones, visible cleavage, and just about everything else considered stylish are forbidden at school. And the dress codes are enforced, too.

So there must be a lot of clothes available somewhere or the local girls would have to be homeschooled. And as I said, I've never had a problem.

rjblue
05-04-2011, 03:28 AM
I think modesty/dressing pretty is about to make a comeback. My 17 year old, who has been wearing jeans and tank tops for 3 years, now wants to buy ALL these dresses (http://www.modcloth.com/store/ModCloth/Womens/Dresses/Floral)to wear this summer.

IceAlisa
05-04-2011, 03:43 AM
Some of these are cute! :)

genevieve
05-04-2011, 07:27 AM
even I think some of those are super cute! love the Ode to Summer dress :)

Cyn
05-04-2011, 12:03 PM
I don't know if other schools have dress codes, but here, bare midriffs, short skirts and shorts, spaghetti straps, exposed hip bones, visible cleavage, and just about everything else considered stylish are forbidden at school. And the dress codes are enforced, too.

That's how it is here as well. Students are not allowed to wear jeans that have any kind of rips or holes (natural or pre-made) as well, nor are they allowed to wear any type of logo that is "questionable."

Basically, clothing that isn't sleazy or slutty is definitely out there (otherwise there wouldn't be anything for them to wear to school), but it's the stuff that's worn when they're not in school that's :eek: - especially during the hotter months, and needless to say, that's when any dissention/arguments about what to buy or wear pop up.

The biggest issue is when MC wants to buy something with her own money that I deem as inappropriate ("YOU'RE not paying for it, so what do you care?!?!" "You're MY kid, and I'm not going to have you walking around town looking like a skank!!" has been a chorus of the past two summers :wall: :rofl: )

Norlite
05-04-2011, 12:21 PM
I gotta say, I lean towards agreeing with rjblue on this one.

I cringe at the use of words like skank, slut tramp and the rest that put down women. I find them particularly offensive when describing what some young girls might look like when dressed in clothes that might be a little too revealing for what society deems acceptable.

I remember having this discussion years ago on another forum taking the view that we don't do the type of name calling to young boys when they leave the house looking ridiculous, and someone piped up to say he's often mentioned how young guys today look like clowns with their low baggy pants.


Uhm, yep. clowns = skanks. Quite a difference there imo.

k, off my soapbox and off to work for today. :)