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overedge
12-29-2010, 08:08 PM
I have the same concerns as BigBO8822 about the length of the break. That sounds like a long time for people to amuse themselves. I'm also wondering if parents with kids all dressed up for the wedding/reception are going to want to take those dressed-up kids to a zoo or a mall and then on to another long event. There may also be adult guests who don't want to spend three hours in a bar, even if there is a bus to take them there and back.

I agree with the suggestion to make the bar trip an optional pre-wedding event - maybe the afternoon or early evening before the wedding? If the ceremony is at 11 am, the out of town guests will probably be arriving the day before, and an event then would give them something social to do.

backspin
12-29-2010, 08:30 PM
3) There is a break between the church and the reception, which is apparently becoming more and more taboo... but we have planned something in between at the bar we met at - unfortunately kids cannot be involved, though this doesn't effect alot of our guests. FMIL thinks I should plan something for families too (again I will withhold my response). Thoughts?

I'll just comment on this because it is a huge pet peeve of mine. I recently was invited to a wedding which was: ceremony at 2:00, reception 6:30. I live over an hour away, but couldn't afford to stay overnight anywhere. I had to choose one or the other; it would have been miserable to do both, having hours to kill in between, all dressed up, in a strange town, blah blah. I went to the reception, so I could have more of my Saturday at home to get things done.

I will do the same if anyone else has the same setup for their wedding. Especially if you have semi- out of town guests, like me, or family who have no where else to go, frankly I think it is very rude to expect people to do that.

If you must have the long break between, give the poor guests somewhere to go, something to do, or make it clear that you understand that not everyone will be able to (or be expected to) put in an appearance at both the ceremony AND the reception.

Twilight1
12-29-2010, 08:40 PM
For some a big break is their only option so goggle'ing' places to go could be a plan for guests. I know my husband and I did that for one and found an amazing park along Lake Ontario, that we walked along. (we got ice cream and it was sooo good! lol!!) It took about a half hour to get there and back but we walked for about an hour and it is probably my best memory of that day.

It killed 2 hours and we had quality time together plus had the added bonus of getting exercise (I brought flat shoes to walk in) and were hungry in time for the reception dinner. :lol:

barbk
12-29-2010, 09:19 PM
Murdoch -- I think you'll have a lovely wedding no matter what you decide, and I hope you make whatever decisions you choose and then move on.

For me:
1. The only program I ever found really helpful was one for a very orthodox jewish ceremony, which had great explanations of what was happening, where, and when. (There was a bunch of stuff related to the bride that only the female guests could gather and see, there were explanations of the wedding contract, ...) But for more commonly experienced weddings, I don't think it is necessary.
2. Ditto on the buffet menus -- though if you have multiple lines and one features something like vegetarian food and the other doesn't, some signage to get guests suitable oriented would be nice.
3. I wish there wasn't a big break, personally. Some of the weddings I've been at have had a two hour break (for photos) and that felt pretty excessive. I think it is especially hard on older folks and those with kids.

But how fun to be planning your wedding -- best wishes to you and your fiance.

taf2002
12-29-2010, 09:22 PM
Programs are programs for me - but this one my grandmother is insisting on and my mother is doing... she is making a fan out of the program, so functional and serving a purpose. I just hate the wording! LOL!

I think programs are nice, not for telling you what is coming next, but for having the names of all the attendants. When you open the program you have the order of songs, etc on the left and the attendants on the right. PDilemma's example is fairly standard in my experience. You may want to list who is doing the readings, if that person is other than the priest/pastor/rabbi/etc & who is singing the songs.

nubka
12-29-2010, 09:30 PM
What time of the year is the wedding? I'm not certain that I would want to run around/amuse myself for three hours in the heat, and then be punked out/wilted by the time the reception started.

Murdoch
12-29-2010, 09:55 PM
Our wedding is at 1pm - his cousins was at 11am (whereby there was a SIX hour break between ceremony and reception).

There is no option to make this a pre-party, as my fiance has his blessing of the bread starting at 10am.

We figure most people will leave church around 2:00 and most people will start venturing to the reception around 4:30. Since church is at one o'clock, we anticipate most people will be needing to grab a small bite to eat at the very least.

We have many out of town guests, most of whom have already booked hotels and are staying both the Friday and Saturday night. One aunt is hosting a hospitality suite in her room.

I have only been to one wedding in 32 years that has NOT had a break between - so, I suppose it is the crowd we roll with more than anything, that makes the break between acceptable. And honestly, in the past two years, any of the weddings we have been to, there is nothing offered in between - we will be a first on that home front. It is not mandatory - just an option for them.

MacMadame
12-29-2010, 10:20 PM
I've been going to weddings for many years in many parts of the country and I've never seen a program for the reception at any of them. For the ceremony, sure, but not the reception. (Doesn't mean it's a bad idea, but it's definitely not the norm.)

As for the break, it's annoying when you go to a wedding that has a big break but generally people not directly involved in the wedding party cook up something for the out-of-towners that aren't getting their pictures taken (which is usually what is going on during the break). I would just hint to anyone that complains that they should set something up. :D Seriously, don't you have enough to do? At the last wedding I went to which was on the opposite coast from me, one of the Aunts invited everyone with nothing to do to her house for some nosh.

However, I will add a caveat to these opinions that all the weddings I've been to were in the US. Maybe in Canada expectations are different?

Habs
12-29-2010, 10:28 PM
However, I will add a caveat to these opinions that all the weddings I've been to were in the US. Maybe in Canada expectations are different?


I have never been to a wedding where there has been an expectation of something to do between the wedding and the reception.

sk8er1964
12-29-2010, 10:48 PM
Our wedding is at 1pm - his cousins was at 11am (whereby there was a SIX hour break between ceremony and reception).

There is no option to make this a pre-party, as my fiance has his blessing of the bread starting at 10am.

We figure most people will leave church around 2:00 and most people will start venturing to the reception around 4:30. Since church is at one o'clock, we anticipate most people will be needing to grab a small bite to eat at the very least.

We have many out of town guests, most of whom have already booked hotels and are staying both the Friday and Saturday night. One aunt is hosting a hospitality suite in her room.

I have only been to one wedding in 32 years that has NOT had a break between - so, I suppose it is the crowd we roll with more than anything, that makes the break between acceptable. And honestly, in the past two years, any of the weddings we have been to, there is nothing offered in between - we will be a first on that home front. It is not mandatory - just an option for them.

Here's a wedding break story for you Murdoch. :)

My parents got married in 1963. At that time it was common, at least in their family/group, to have an early wedding (I think theirs was around lunch time) and an evening reception. After the ceremony, the wedding party went back to my grandmother's house for some food and company.

The doorbell rings, and my mom goes to answer it. It was a former boyfriend who had been in the Army, who decided to stop by to see what she had been doing the past several years. He figured it out pretty quickly considering that my mom was still wearing her wedding dress when she answered the door. :lol:

Murdoch
12-29-2010, 10:55 PM
LOL! That's a gooder!

pat c
12-30-2010, 12:10 AM
The bar part is a HUGE part for us because it really is where we met, got to know each other, and really cultivated our relationship (sounds so not good) - but our of 225 guests, there are only nine sets of parents in the whole group... I just wonder how much to stress over making everyone happy...


No sweat. Us prairie people are used to long breaks between the wedding and the reception. ;)

Seriously? I'm thinking that the 9 couples with the kids are either local or are staying at a hotel. Either way, they're probably going to deal well with the break. You have to trust that people will be more than willing to find something to do for this amount of time. It sounds like visiting will be the big part of your wedding (isn't it for most?) so people will find somewhere to congregate with or without your help for the 3 hours in question. Once they get to the hall, you're there to provide the entertainment. Are you using plastic utensils or are you going to put up with the cutlery tinkling on the glasses for a while? j/k

Enjoy your day, sounds like you are very prepared. Cheers. :)

skatemommy
12-30-2010, 01:01 AM
If the hotel has a pool, children are all set. I had a program at the church explaining the classical music, wedding party and who was doing the readings (very pregnant SIL who grew out of her dress). No need for menu at the reception. I'd be wary of the bar thing too...your makeup or dress could get messed on. I'm voting with the pre-wedding or bach/bachorlorette party - now that might be more meaningful! And more fun dressed up to the nines rather than wedding formal...

numbers123
12-30-2010, 01:57 AM
I have the same concerns as BigBO8822 about the length of the break. That sounds like a long time for people to amuse themselves. .

son and dil had a 2.5 hour break from wedding to reception. a couple of reasons: dil's mom has MS and needed a rest period between the wedding and reception. Even with that, they left before the dance. Her dad did come back for the daughter/father dance after taking her mom home. He left shortly after that.
The kids wanted pictures all over the city. We had 2 buses transporting the wedding party and any guests who wanted to imbide a bit more than safe to drive. It was a freakin' 100 degrees F, the reception hall was air conditioned and the bar was open. Most of the guests were adults. There were some families with small children. They appreciated the break - so the kids could go home or to the hotel for a nap.

barbk
12-30-2010, 02:33 AM
Would you welcome kids dressed more informally at the reception than at the wedding? I know my daughter would have loved to get out of the pinchy patent leather Mary Janes and fancy dress and into something nice but a whole lot more comfortable.