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Prancer
12-28-2010, 12:17 AM
And it is not necessarily a bad thing it is how it used that is important.

Exactly--because there is a difference between identifying characteristics of a group and assuming that individual people have those characterististics because they are part of that group. Or, even worse, taking one or two individual examples and assuming those examples are representative of the group.


A "carefree" adolescence is a relatively recent invention. In the past, children were expect to contribute to the family as soon as they were physically able. With no electricity or modern conveniences, people had to work very hard to maintain a household and care for families. Cooking required firewood for the stove. Water was pumped from a well. Doing laundry was an all-day event using scrub boards and a lot of physical work. Throughout the summer, fruit and vegetables were canned and preserved for winter eating. Clothing was sewed and repaired by hand. For farm families, children helped with the daily chores and field work.

Thank you for the history lesson.

The thing is, once you could pump the water and cook the food and all that, you had adult life mastered. That was what it was all about--work was hard, but it was relatively simple. You could master it all at a young age, so there was no particular reason for you to not become an adult at a young age. No one needed to go to college or get a set of specific job skills or learn to handle varying types of credit or or or.


Modern conveniences and household applicances have given people more leisure time than they ever had in the past

What mods cons have allowed us to do is improve our standard of living so that a normal household now can function at a level that would have required a full staff of servants before the Victorian age.

The Victorians spent a great deal of time worrying about leisure time, as they pretty much invented the modern concept of it. This is not new.


Adolescence is now being extended into the 20's. This phenomenom has been noted in a number of articles in the mainstream press over the past few years.

I've read a lot of those articles, too. But the main reason young people return home is the economy. Last year, 37% of people 18-29 were unemployed. It's pretty tough to move out and support yourself without a job.

Most of the articles I've read have noted this issue, too, at least in passing.


Someone said that the Baby Boomers are responsible for this. A number of the articles I've read have blamed Dr. Spock and his book "Baby and Child Care", which was published in 1946 and is one of the biggest selling books of all times. It has been suggested that Dr. Spock's theories have encouraged permissiveness, narcissism and an expectation of instant gratification. Sounds pretty much like the Boomers, their children and their grandchildren.

Yes, I've read that particular line of argument many times. However, I've also read the line of argument that says that Dr. Spock never said any of the things that have been attributed to him and that blaming Dr. Spock for all the ills of child-rearing can be traced directly to his political activism and not his books.

Who was to blame for all the rampant permissiveness, narcisissm and expectation of instant gratification that came before Dr. Spock? Because it surely must have existed before him, given all the complaints throughout history of the very same.

Really
12-28-2010, 01:26 AM
I can tell you why my kids had a lot of things 'given' to them as children -- I wanted them to experience the things that my parents' financial situation didn't allow for when I was a child. I wanted them to have swimming, skating/hockey, dance, gymnastics -- all those things I wanted to do as a child but couldn't. At the same time, we didn't do anything to give them the idea that they should own their own home and brand new vehicles by the time they were 25. They sure didn't grow up in a family that had that! To the extent that they want it all now, yes, they do appear to feel 'entitled'. But I don't think giving them dance lessons did that for them.

FGRSK8
12-28-2010, 11:36 AM
My Dad will be 95 in July.

Grumpy is the last thing you can say about him.

He lives in Chatham, MA and he called me up yesterday morning to say he measured a gust to 81 mph. Then he added it was a wimpy storm since it couldn't gust at least up to his age. :lol:

Meredith
12-28-2010, 12:12 PM
You and your dad make me smile. :)

numbers123
12-28-2010, 05:22 PM
today, I would have a small sampling of research that says you get grumpier as you get older if you have adult children who are acting stupid, who are with each stupid action moving themselves closer to being dismissed from the family forever. And this is saying a great deal since I have been through hell 10 times or more and back with him in the last 10 years and he is only 24. It is breaking my heart and making me extremely grumpy, but there comes a point that you can no longer put up with extreme stupidity.

So yes, in this case I am grumpier than I was 10 years ago.

Nora_Charles
12-28-2010, 05:30 PM
(((((numbers123)))))) You and my mom would have a lot to talk about. Two of her kids DID get permanently dismissed from her life -- their choice, through VERY bad behavior. It is really hard, and I have watched her heart break more times than I can count, but as you say, you really can only tolerate so much. And sometimes a clean break is the only answer. (And I would say she is a lot less cheerful than she was even 5 years ago)

olympic
12-28-2010, 06:00 PM
This thread is interesting to me because I am 41 yrs. old and have started to contemplate getting older. I'm severely analytical by nature and think quite a bit about aging personally. Some things I've notice relative to my life -

Working-out : I feel floored after a hard work-out, whereas 5, 10 years ago, I could shake off sluggishness, fatigue, etc. Injuries are more common [muscle strain], and I'm just plain too tired to go to the gym sometimes but my vanity forces me to ;).

Hair: Slightly balding and I go nuts with Biotin and Rogaine. Alas, I do realize it's a losing battle :( To boot, you start to get hair growth in weird places [ears, nose, shoulders, back] so I'm active with the trimmers.

Eating: Once upon a time in my 20s, I would gobble down a pizza after a 3-11 shift, go home, sack out and sleep soundly. Now, I have to be conscious about when I eat [close to bedtime], what I eat. G-A-S is more of a problem :o I eat a hi-protein diet and feel like an orchestra horn section occassionally.

Body: The body thickens and droops as you age, or so I've noticed. It's OK if you're trying to build manage or build a muscular frame, but probably sucks otherwise, especially if you want to be thin and 'tight' bodywise.

Sleep: Used to sleep soundly, but now I get less sleep.

Eyes: Starting to squint at the computer.

Going out: Could party all night in my 20s, but interested in getting home by 1am these days.

I'm sure I've painted an attractive picture here. Thanks for listening. My BF is :yawn: about my obsessions.

But, I do find that age conquers the need to be liked by all. So, you get to say what you mean much more. And little things in life stress you a lot less. That is something to be thankful for.

bobalina77
12-29-2010, 05:38 PM
I can tell you why my kids had a lot of things 'given' to them as children -- I wanted them to experience the things that my parents' financial situation didn't allow for when I was a child. I wanted them to have swimming, skating/hockey, dance, gymnastics -- all those things I wanted to do as a child but couldn't. At the same time, we didn't do anything to give them the idea that they should own their own home and brand new vehicles by the time they were 25. They sure didn't grow up in a family that had that! To the extent that they want it all now, yes, they do appear to feel 'entitled'. But I don't think giving them dance lessons did that for them.

You sound like our family. My parents didn't buy a house until I was in my late 20's because they wanted to give us the things they never had. My mom as a kid wanted to skate so badly but with so many brothers and sisters it just wasn't an option. So she put me in skating, my brother in hockey and I'm pretty sure that alone would have paid for a house lol. Other than that we didn't get everything we wanted when we wanted it, although I'm sure we got a lot more than they did as kids.

Funny thing is that even though we were raised the same way, my view on material things is much different than my brother's. I don't need the brand new furniture, a ridiculous house (even if it is still a rental) and every gadget under the sun right this minute. I know it takes time and I have to work for it. I also don't expect my parents to bail me out every time I'm having issues. Somewhere along the line his priorities got all messed up, yet we were raised in the same environment.

Lizziebeth
12-29-2010, 06:56 PM
My Dad will be 95 in July.

Grumpy is the last thing you can say about him.

He lives in Chatham, MA and he called me up yesterday morning to say he measured a gust to 81 mph. Then he added it was a wimpy storm since it couldn't gust at least up to his age. :lol:

He sounds like a person you want to be around as much as you can.

Reminds me of my own dear father who had to be the most good natured person ever, while still possessing a backbone where his kids were concerned. I wish I still had him around, you are so fortunate!