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numbers123
12-21-2010, 08:14 PM
I don't believe that age is a contributing factor in grumpiness. IMHO what impacts grumpiness include


pain of any sort - headache, knees, back etc.
loneliness - you can be lonely even if you are in a relationship (see references to husband/wives mentioned above)
how busy or need to complete something you are
road rage or similar things like shopping rage or "I have had it today and need calgon to take me away"
amount of sleep, which we know that as you age the quality of sleep decreases. And why anyone says they slept like a baby to indicate good sleep is beyond me. Babies wake up during the night.
illness or family illnesses
hunger
genetic factors of depression/bi-polar illnesses (I don't want to get into the inherited argument, but many healthcare professionals believe that there is a genetic link
worry about a family member or a good friend
and so on

you can be young and have many of those contributing factors to make you grumpy or you can be older and not having those things in your life and be happy.

Dragonlady
12-21-2010, 08:15 PM
I'm thinking that many of the older folk here have forgotten what they were like in their 20s. :lol: Sure it's no excuse for outright lazy uselessness (I'm surrounded by extremely self-motivated young people so I guess I'm biased), but most of us are still figuring stuff out.

I haven’t forgotten what I was like in my 20’s but it was quite different from your experiences.

I was married for the first time before I was 20 and managing my own household. By the time I was 23, I had a child. At 24, we bought our first house. I was the loans manager at a bank by the time I was 25. Our son was born when I was 26.

We were expected to have stuff “figured out” at a much younger age than today’s generation. If people of my generation have difficulty understanding what’s taking this generation so long to “figure stuff out”, this is why. By the time we were in our 20's, we expected to be fully functioning adults. Given the advantages and opportunities available to today's generation, I have difficulty understanding what's taking your generation so long to get their act together.

And you wonder why older people are grumpier.

PRlady
12-21-2010, 08:24 PM
We were expected to have stuff “figured out” at a much younger age than today’s generation. If people of my generation have difficulty understanding what’s taking this generation so long to “figure stuff out”, this is why. By the time we were in our 20's, we expected to be fully functioning adults. Given the advantages and opportunities available to today's generation, I have difficulty understanding what's taking your generation so long to get their act together.

And you wonder why older people are grumpier.

Well, I'm only a bit younger than you, DL, seven or so years I think. And although I (stupidly) took up with an older man with three children at the age of 24, and was prematurely responsible for a family, I didn't even start to figure out my career until I was 27, I just drifted around. I agree more was expected of us, I was on my own for health insurance for example no matter how lowly a job I had, but those expectations were hard for later-bloomers to fulfill.

I really like having young staff and my daughter and her friends around, even though they all tease me for my allergy to Facebook and other old-lady stuff. I think I'm actually less moody than I was when younger, certainly I have my temper under better control, really don't sweat the small stuff anymore, am more satisfied with what I have and less likely to live in some mythical future.

Most people my age that I know aren't grumpier. There is a middle-aged angst phenomenon that takes its toll on marriages -- lots of divorces and unhappy marriages in my age group as people look around and perhaps panic they will be stuck unhappily for the rest of their lives.

But older people are grumpier. My ex-husband is 71 and he is sad and even grumpier than previously, as are others I know in that age group. I'm not looking forward to real old age, not one bit.

loopey
12-21-2010, 09:22 PM
There's been a paradigm shift of sorts. I don't know if it's by the parenting or by changes in social attitudes, and I sure as hell know that I'm not the only one who has seen this, but there's definitely been a change in the amount of respect and, as you put it, proper decorum and human social skills displayed by the current generation of young adults. I am not saying that everyone in that age range is like that, but there's definitely a considerable rise in the percentage of those who at best show far less respect for others (not only the older generation, but people in general) and at worst outright contempt and a disregard for behavior that is decent.
Yes indeed! Nicely said, and I couldn't agree more.

Aussie Willy
12-21-2010, 09:27 PM
With regards to the "younger" generation, we do have a few her at work in their mid-20s who are totally disrespectful to their managers and will talk in a way that myself or others of my age would have never dreamed of doing, or still wouldn't. I get quite shocked sometimes to hear the way certain people talk.

It is not everyone, but certainly quite a few who I deal with behave that way.

Maybe I don't get it and it is a new paradigm with this generation. However I don't think it makes them people I can admire or respect.

numbers123
12-21-2010, 09:47 PM
you know, every generation think that the one that follows them is more disrespectful of the elders, think that they are entitled when they are not, yadda, yadda, yadda.

If you are a booomer and participated in any of the protests, I bet you your parents and their friends thought you felt you were entitled, that your actions were irresponsible...and that at work you were upstarts who had no respect for those who worked themselves up to their positions. You know the whole great depression thing and having to scrape for every single penny...

I really have a problem when we get to the judging of a generation. Not everyone who is in my kids' generation feel like the world owes them an existance and not everyone in my generation works hard and is respectful in the workplace.

snoopy
12-21-2010, 09:58 PM
you know, every generation think that the one that follows them is more disrespectful of the elders, think that they are entitled when they are not, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Over the past 100 years I am sure that is true as we have been moving toward more and more informality in the culture. So I am totally sure I am less formal (and my grandma would interpret this as less respectful) than she was or my mother was. And it follows that younger people have contined the trend towards less structure. Whether this is a good thing or not - or where it gets to be too little structure - is IMO a legitimate topic. Like asking whether old people are more grumpy. Of course we know not all old people are grumpy but doesn't mean there isn't something to the sentiment.

Aussie Willy
12-21-2010, 10:11 PM
Over the past 100 years I am sure that is true as we have been moving toward more and more informality in the culture. So I am totally sure I am less formal (and my grandma would interpret this as less respectful) than she was or my mother was. And it follows that younger people have contined the trend towards less structure. Whether this is a good thing or not - or where it gets to be too little structure - is IMO a legitimate topic. Like asking whether old people are more grumpy. Of course we know not all old people are grumpy but doesn't mean there isn't something to the sentiment.

Well said.

I asked the question initially because I wanted to find out what others thought and most have responded with personal experiences, not generalisations. And there have been some great examples of those who really break the stereotype.

Commenting on "the younger generation", of course not everyone is going to be like that. But from my personal experience and conversations with others, it is going to set up an idea in your mind about how a certain group of people are going to behave.

Anita18
12-21-2010, 10:17 PM
you know, every generation think that the one that follows them is more disrespectful of the elders, think that they are entitled when they are not, yadda, yadda, yadda.

If you are a booomer and participated in any of the protests, I bet you your parents and their friends thought you felt you were entitled, that your actions were irresponsible...and that at work you were upstarts who had no respect for those who worked themselves up to their positions. You know the whole great depression thing and having to scrape for every single penny...

I really have a problem when we get to the judging of a generation. Not everyone who is in my kids' generation feel like the world owes them an existance and not everyone in my generation works hard and is respectful in the workplace.

That's exactly how I feel numbers123. :)

And DL, my mom was a young bloomer as well and I don't think she'd want us to have a family at the age she did. (She married at 23 and had me at 26. I'm 26 and no pressure at all from her to marry and have kids.)

OTOH I had a housemate (younger than me) whose HS classmates were already married with 3 kids by 21. It's all what you see around you, and it's unfair to lump an entire generation under one umbrella.

And I don't believe it's a given that people get grumpier as they get older. :) People change, sure, but in which emotional direction depends on the individual.

let`s talk
12-22-2010, 07:36 AM
Many young people don’t see themselves as equal, they see themselves as superior. And those who feel thusly entitled also feel that they should be respected, even when they’ve done nothing to earn respect. I see a lot of that. Then they get pissy when others don’t acknowledge their superiority or give them what they feel is their due.


Change "young" into "old" in your post and it works as well. I see a lot of that, especially from some petty online stalkers. I pity them but can't help them.

skateboy
12-22-2010, 08:09 AM
Since so many people think of getting older as a bad thing, I try to look at it differently. So each birthday, instead of thinking "I'm another year older!", I look at it as, "Cheers! I'm younger than I'll ever be again! Woohoo!"

Schmeck
12-22-2010, 11:41 AM
We can go back to feudalism, then it was even stricter. Nowdays your success mainly depends on your skills, partly this is the result of capitalism and the Internet enterprises. The age doesn't count that much as it used to. Many young people become successful at younger age than it was decades or centuries ago. Democracy itself is supposed to put people on equal level, regardless of age, gender, race and nationality. The fact that the younger generation sees themselves as equal is a direct result of the global social tendencies. I don't see any problems with that. If some older people have difficulties with the younger generation, in 99.9% of cases they remind you of their older age just because they don't have anything else to be proud of. Those older people who got successful in the life, don't need to do that. As the result they are usually the most valuable advisers and I respect them for that.

Seems to me you have difficulties with older people, not the other way around... Also, your definition of success seems to be based on money/greed/capitalism - and we've seen how 'successful' that makes society as a whole. I'm pretty disgusted with what presently motivates the human race, and capitalism is part of that.

When the younger generation considers their parents a burden on their success, then we have failed as a society. Since I see this occuring very frequently in the upper middle class (friend who runs a home health care business has some horror stories) I have no faith in wealth/success being the main goal of our existence.

let`s talk
12-22-2010, 03:21 PM
Seems to me you have difficulties with older people, not the other way around... Also, your definition of success seems to be based on money/greed/capitalism - and we've seen how 'successful' that makes society as a whole. I'm pretty disgusted with what presently motivates the human race, and capitalism is part of that.

When the younger generation considers their parents a burden on their success, then we have failed as a society. Since I see this occuring very frequently in the upper middle class (friend who runs a home health care business has some horror stories) I have no faith in wealth/success being the main goal of our existence.

Alright, I am a rotten young capitalist :bribe::bribe::bribe: and I will burn in hell!!! :EVILLE:

On a serious note, it seems to me you missed the part where I said that some older people are the most valuable advisers. Most of my uni teachers are like that. Those older people who start scolding youngers and telling them that they know things better just because they are older, are funny cases and not worthy. The definition of success is not limited to money only. The success is more like feeling than an actual material result. At the same time to deny the role of money completely is not right too. The concept depends on the society. In some comfortable societies the material success means the recognition of your skills by people and the comfortable life you get in return.
Have no idea why health care centers were brought up. My hubby's granny died at the age of 96yo at her own house. If his parents are going to live the same long life, they have a few decades to kick around, the same goes about my folks. Actually health care centers also depends on the society. In the country where I reside they are more like hospitals with the features of reabilitation centers and country clubs. If children work in another country and have, for example a 90yo mother who can't distinguish water and green tea, it's a real care if she is put in a care center with the professional staff and 24-hour medical help than if she will be left on her own at her lonely home, and some social workers bringing her food once a day.

Jojo
12-22-2010, 05:31 PM
My father-in-law, in the 16 years I've known him, has always been a curmudgeon. And he's getting worse as the years advance.

I understand that he too suffers under the weight of life's disappointments, but many of those things that he's angry about came to pass because of decisions he made over the years.

What's hardest for those around him, is that those who support him the most (emotionally and financially) are those who get the brunt of his moods. So my bullshti-o-meter with him is on high gear. I won't let him get away with his hurtful behaviour and call him on it.

So now he calls me super grumpy, and I'm sure, behind my back, a bitch. :P

Aceon6
12-22-2010, 05:58 PM
So now he calls me super grumpy, and I'm sure, behind my back, a bitch. :P

If my late f-i-l was any indication, he may be very happy that you're calling him on it. In his declining years, my f-i-l appreciated honesty over anything else.