View Full Version : looking for Mr. Jim Tester (coach)

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12-02-2010, 01:06 AM

Herein lies the rub, Iceman: You're not James. You're someone posting on this forum through the use of an alias, like most of us. You cannot know what this other person totally unrelated to you would think. I'm not saying he would have a problem with it, I'm saying everyone should have the respect for this man to CONSIDER he might not want this thread up.

If I were James, I too would want to reconnect with old students, especially close ones. But I absolutely would NOT want a thread about me on a public forum and a bunch of women I don't know poking around obituaries to see if I'm still alive. Gross.

Guess what! Neither are you. But you seem quite convinced you know what he would want. See next paragraph. :rolleyes:

Best of luck with your search, Dale.

Ice Ramps
12-02-2010, 01:15 AM
Lots of people who were once very close have drifted apart. Pre-Internet, it happened all the time. Writing letters was difficult for many people -- they didn't know what to say, or they didn't think they wrote very well, or it was just something that kept getting put off. To older generations (especially Depression Era folks), making a long-distance phone call is considered an expense for emergencies and special occasions, not for routine chatting. Phone #s changed, got lost . . .

I trust Ice Ramps to have a sense whether this gentleman would welcome getting back in touch, and I don't see anything here that violates anyone's privacy. The elderly people I know would get a chuckle if they found out folks had been combing the SSA records for news of their demise.

Good luck with your search, Dale.

Thank You Rottie, this is exactly what has happened. I do believe that Jim would feel as I do and want to reconnect, or I would not have bothered trying. If I am successful in reaching him, and he does not want to be bothered then that will be the end of it. I can't believe TD is implying I am a creepy stalker or that I am enlisting the aid of the same type. That is absolutely absurd. I am a Figure Skater and Jim was my coach, what a better place to attempt to find him or someone who knows of him than a Figure Skating Forum right?

With Regards,
Dale Campbell

12-03-2010, 12:09 AM
i hope that the two of you are able to re-connect,
It's wonderful that you want to; and are trying to locate him.

12-03-2010, 10:35 AM
I will be at a rink with several coaches who knew Mr. Tester today.
I will ask them if they have any contact info for you!

Ice Ramps
12-04-2010, 05:39 AM
I will be at a rink with several coaches who knew Mr. Tester today.
I will ask them if they have any contact info for you!

Thank you! Something like this was what I was hoping for. If they just want to pass my contact information to him that is fine too!


12-04-2010, 05:54 AM
A lot of this could have been done by PM.

However, I think this coach and presumably retired person would be thrilled that somebody cared :)

12-04-2010, 05:56 PM
On the issue of posting locations and such on a message board: I roller skate, and we have a thread going (for a few years now) called "What Ever Happened To...?" where people ask about old coaches, skaters, people they skated with, etc. and those who know the information help to reconnect them (if possible. For instance, if I were looking for a coach named John Smith, I'd ask about him, and hopefully, someone would say, "yes, he's happily retired in Maine. He has a mailing address. I'll ask my coach tomorrow"). In a few cases, the skaters in question themselves have come to the thread (several people have verified this; we aren't all getting duped) to try to reconnect with the friends who are looking for them.

As a genealogist, on genealogy forums, people are constantly posting the names of living people to try to find their relatives. I tend to post the names of relatives long deceased (mostly because, as I say, I'm working backwards instead of sideways), but it's not considered a problem if someone posts the name of a living person, or even his/her supposed location.

Maybe the gang over at the roller skating forum is being unsafe. Maybe it's really stupid of the genealogists. But I don't think anyone involved is doing anything deplorable. Mr. Dale wants to reconnect with his childhood coach. Clearly, he's tried, and now he's coming to a large online community of-shocker!-skaters to help his search.

I hope others can help him, because I lived with very old and retired people for years, one of whom had a major role in the lives of many young adults. I remember how much it saddened him that, no matter how many times we contacted all of the young adults (many of whom were now old adults) and invited them to come see him, only a few showed up (period). He was very lonely (sure, he had his family, but he really wanted to see other people) and I remember how upsetting it was when he died and everyone wished they'd come by to see him.

Good luck in your search!

12-04-2010, 06:06 PM
I'm 75 & know many elderly people who are no longer able to get out & socialize or travel or do much of anything other than pay their bills, see their doctors, watch TV. You keep on with your search, Dale. Why do so many of us spend time doing genealogical research? I'm in touch with 3rd & 4th cousins in Britain & we were thrilled to find each other.

12-04-2010, 09:17 PM
Why do so many of us spend time doing genealogical research? I'm in touch with 3rd & 4th cousins in Britain & we were thrilled to find each other.

I'm a decade or so behind you Merrywidow but, as an only child, I have been equally thrilled to find living cousins through my genealogical research (and sometimes serendipity) and to connect with them, even visiting them in Englnd and Ireland. We share history that it has been fun to bring to light together.

Many of us have been blessed with special individuals in our lives that may or may not be relatives. "Life" can intervene and we may lose contact.

Good luck in your search, Dale!!