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PDilemma
10-18-2010, 08:28 PM
Statistically it is harder to get pregnant the older you get. That's just a fact, and I don't blame anyone for pointing it out. At my age, though, I'm doing my best to ignore the statistics and just focus on the success stories!

It may be true, but it's not a good thing to have women panicking about it at 25.

Prancer
10-18-2010, 08:40 PM
Google pregnancy + age. Not only will you get 100s of articles about the risks of pregnancy over age 35, you'll find a number that tell you fertility peaks between 20-25 and that pregnancy after 30 is difficult to achieve.

Are those things not true?


Statistically it is harder to get pregnant the older you get. That's just a fact, and I don't blame anyone for pointing it out.

Yes, I don't get why it's considered negative media coverage to report factual information.

I Googled "pregnancy + age" and got a lot of articles that talk about challenges that women can face, but none that said getting pregnant after 30 is impossible or wrong.


It may be true, but it's not a good thing to have women panicking about it at 25.

I wasn't aware that women were. One person having an unreasonable response to media reports does not mean women are panicking.

Wyliefan
10-18-2010, 08:46 PM
I definitely don't think anyone should panic at 25. The age thing is just a factor that a woman who wants a child has to take into account.

PDilemma
10-18-2010, 08:53 PM
Are those things not true?


I wasn't aware that women were. One person having an unreasonable response to media reports does not mean women are panicking.

I didn't say it wasn't true. The person I was responding to said she thought that the media was reporting a positive picture of women over 35 in regards to pregnancy and fertility. My point was that the picture presented is not that positive. Truth does not equal positivity. And I never said that it did or should.

And I did reference an article which advocated women postponing education and career goals to have babies before age 25--something that created a firestorm in the limited scope where it was published of people both agreeing and disagreeing. Therefore, I was not referencing one person's response. In my particular part of the country and among the faith group that the many of my friends and a large portion of my extended family subscribe to, there is indeed a lot of discussion about the necessity for women to have babies before age 30 for reasons that have to do with ideas about gender roles that are entwined with ideas about theology and it is now being backed up with media discussions of "declining" fertility after age 25 or 30. I have seen a number of former students give up educational goals to have babies as young as they possibly can. And, by and large, it is not turning out well for them and probably not for their children.

Prancer
10-18-2010, 09:12 PM
And I did reference an article which advocated women postponing education and career goals to have babies before age 25--something that created a firestorm in the limited scope where it was published of people both agreeing and disagreeing. Therefore, I was not referencing one person's response.

You referenced a blog post, not an article, and described one woman's reaction to it, yes? Or did I miss something?

In any case, a blog post is not something I consider a report in the media; YMMV, of course.


In my particular part of the country and among the faith group that the many of my friends and a large portion of my extended family subscribe to, there is indeed a lot of discussion about the necessity for women to have babies before age 30 for reasons that have to do with ideas about gender roles that are entwined with ideas about theology and it is now being backed up with media discussions of "declining" fertility after age 25 or 30. I have seen a number of former students give up educational goals to have babies as young as they possibly can. And, by and large, it is not turning out well for them and probably not for their children.

Maybe so, but the average age for a woman in the US to have her first child is going up, not down, so again, I don't think women are panicking.

Hannahclear
10-18-2010, 09:13 PM
I'm 32, and I've been freaking out about my fertility since I was 29. We are planning to have kids at some point, but the time never seems right.

There's never a perfect time. You may want to consider it if things aren't actively awful. My hubby and I weren't where we hoped to be when we had our son, but it's good enough.

I always planned to get pregnant before 30 due to statistics. According to my preggo guide, a woman between 25-29 has a 86-93% likelihood of getting preggo within a year of trying. It took us one month. I'd like to have one more (on good days anyway), probably when I'm about 32 or 33. According to the same data, my likelihood within one year is 72-86%. Not too shabby.

But even the late 30s have a 65%-72% chance! It's hardly impossible.

PDilemma
10-18-2010, 09:36 PM
You referenced a blog post, not an article, and described one woman's reaction to it, yes? Or did I miss something?

In any case, a blog post is not something I consider a report in the media; YMMV, of course.



Maybe so, but the average age for a woman in the US to have her first child is going up, not down, so again, I don't think women are panicking.

And if I posted that I currently have a sinus headache, I'm sure you would post that I do not have a sinus headache as lacking multiple MRIs and the opinions of 77 neurologists, there is no data to back up that I have a sinus headache.

Trouble is that wouldn't make my headache go away.

Just as your lack of data does not change that many of my former students have 3-4 kids before they are 30, little or no post-secondary education and few or no job skills. Some of them have never held a job. Circumstances like the current economy and their spouses' resulting job loss or unexpected divorces have left a number of them in dire straights and they are completely unequipped to help support their families. And the fact that a lot of people told them they couldn't have babies after 30 contributed to their situations (as well as their belief system--but I think I made that clear). And just because data doesn't tell you they exist, doesn't mean they don't. As Hannahclear cited, lower percentages of women conceive in one year as age increases, but the numbers are not that staggeringly different. And to hear the media tell the tale, many people would guess the numbers for late 30s well below the 65-72% range she posted. I don't feel that it is okay to give women that impression any more than it would be fair to give them the impression that the fertility rate is exactly the same at 35 as it is at 25.

Dragonlady
10-18-2010, 09:40 PM
I read one report that said that 49% of the live births in Canada in 2005 were to women who were over the age of 30 so it appears that concerns about getting pregnant after 30 aren't impacting on the decision to wait all that much.

Hearing that younger women are feeling pressure to breed before their eggs go bad, would make me laugh if it weren't for the uneasy feeling that this is just one more way to use biology to control women and make them feel guilty for wanting to finish their education and establish their careers before having children.

Veronika, there is never a "right time" to have a baby. There are always many other things that should be dealt with first.

As someone who had babies in her 20's and another when I was nearly 40, there are advantages both to waiting and to going ahead as soon as possible. My older children remember a young mother who was physically more active - going skiing, camping, canoeing, and horseback riding with them. Tink had a mother who had more time and money for cultural enrichment and after school programs. We had a cottage and while I didn't take her skiing, I did take her swimming and canoeing, and taught her how to garden.

Veronika
10-18-2010, 10:16 PM
I know there isn't a right time, but first we were waiting for him to finish law school. Then we were working in different cities and each commuting 2 hours a day. Once we are both finally working in the same city, we'll get serious.

cruisin
10-18-2010, 10:35 PM
There's never a perfect time. You may want to consider it if things aren't actively awful. My hubby and I weren't where we hoped to be when we had our son, but it's good enough.

I always planned to get pregnant before 30 due to statistics. According to my preggo guide, a woman between 25-29 has a 86-93% likelihood of getting preggo within a year of trying. It took us one month. I'd like to have one more (on good days anyway), probably when I'm about 32 or 33. According to the same data, my likelihood within one year is 72-86%. Not too shabby.

But even the late 30s have a 65%-72% chance! It's hardly impossible.

Hopefully this will be encouraging for you. I had my first at 31. It took 18 months for me to get pregnant. But I did, without any more assistance than a basal thermometer and good graph plotting. I'm sure they now have much more accurate ovulation home testing methods. We decided to start trying for the second one, when the first one was 14 months old. figured it would take a while. I was pregnant within one month. I was 33 when I had my second. Everyone is different and statistical averages may or may not apply to you.

Another anecdotal story. A friend tried for several years to get pregnant. when she was 31 she started fertility meds. They did not work. She did invitro, got pregnant and miscarried. At 34 she got pregnant on her own, everyone was shocked and thrilled. She carried to term and had a healthy baby boy. She was pregnant again 3 months later! She now has 2 boys exactly 12 months apart!

KikiSashaFan
10-18-2010, 10:47 PM
I'm almost 25 and alot of my friends are starting to have babies and I'm still totally :yikes at the idea. My mom had me at 33 and my sister at 36. I refuse to have a baby until I'm 30, and my SO (who is just over a year older than me) is okay with that. Maybe I'm being too optimistic, but I want to finish university, get a job and be more settled first.

Does fertility (or lack thereof) run in families? My mom was 32 and got pregnant with me on the very first try :o

cruisin
10-18-2010, 10:55 PM
I'm almost 25 and alot of my friends are starting to have babies and I'm still totally :yikes at the idea. My mom had me at 33 and my sister at 36. I refuse to have a baby until I'm 30, and my SO (who is just over a year older than me) is okay with that. Maybe I'm being too optimistic, but I want to finish university, get a job and be more settled first.

Does fertility (or lack thereof) run in families? My mom was 32 and got pregnant with me on the very first try :o

I'm not a doctor, but I suspect that there could be some fertility issues that are genetic (like structural) and some that are just flukes, like environmental (stress) or individual health issues.

Prancer
10-18-2010, 11:08 PM
And if I posted that I currently have a sinus headache, I'm sure you would post that I do not have a sinus headache as lacking multiple MRIs and the opinions of 77 neurologists, there is no data to back up that I have a sinus headache.

No, because that would be stupid.

If, however, you posted that there is an epidemic of women having sinus headaches across America because you and your SIL and some of the women at your church do, that I would dispute.


Just as your lack of data

MY lack of data? Oh. The one data-supported assertion I made was that the age of women having their first child in the US is going up, not down.

Here ya go--data: http://www.healthnews.com/family-health/pregnancy-childbirth-parenting/more-women-opting-have-their-first-child-later-life-3566.html

Let's see your data.


does not change that many of my former students have 3-4 kids before they are 30, little or no post-secondary education and few or no job skills. Some of them have never held a job. Circumstances like the current economy and their spouses' resulting job loss or unexpected divorces have left a number of them in dire straights and they are completely unequipped to help support their families. And the fact that a lot of people told them they couldn't have babies after 30 contributed to their situations (as well as their belief system--but I think I made that clear). And just because data doesn't tell you they exist, doesn't mean they don't. As Hannahclear cited, lower percentages of women conceive in one year as age increases, but the numbers are not that staggeringly different. And to hear the media tell the tale, many people would guess the numbers for late 30s well below the 65-72% range she posted. I don't feel that it is okay to give women that impression any more than it would be fair to give them the impression that the fertility rate is exactly the same at 35 as it is at 25.

No, it doesn't change any of those facts, but I never disputed any of them either.

What I disputed was that women are panicking over their fertility because of media reports and are foolishly deciding to have children at an early age because of it.

Where did Hannahclear get those positive stats, I wonder.

timing
10-18-2010, 11:24 PM
I know there isn't a right time, but first we were waiting for him to finish law school. Then we were working in different cities and each commuting 2 hours a day. Once we are both finally working in the same city, we'll get serious.

There is no perfect time. I had friends who were working in different cities when they were decided to try to have their first child, which they did. You will need to decide to do what works for both of you.


Everyone is different and statistical averages may or may not apply to you.
This ^.


Does fertility (or lack thereof) run in families? My mom was 32 and got pregnant with me on the very first try :o

So far in my family female descendants of my grandma, who had her first children in her thirties and her last in her late forties, have been able to have families starting in their thirties. It wouldn't surprise me if it did run in families.

skatingfan5
10-18-2010, 11:35 PM
Does fertility (or lack thereof) run in families? My mom was 32 and got pregnant with me on the very first try :o


I'm not a doctor, but I suspect that there could be some fertility issues that are genetic (like structural) and some that are just flukes, like environmental (stress) or individual health issues.Relative fertility might "run in families" but environmental aspects definitely play a role. Expectations about "the right age" can also have a strong familial component -- a friend of mine was a little unsettled to find herself pregnant at age 30. She was in grad school and married to a doctor but thought that "30 is too young to have a baby" -- mainly because of her own family history. Her mother had her first child (my friend) at age 35 and then had another 4 children (sadly, she did have two miscarriages as well). For my friend, the "right age" to have kids was somewhere between 35 and 45, but she adjusted just fine once her daughter was born. :)