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numbers123
10-14-2010, 12:45 AM
I want Time to Say Goodbye and Amazing Grace and I Was There to Hear Your Borning Cry sung at my funeral, hopefully sung by my cousins who have absolutely wonderful voices.

My best friend wants Happy Trails to You sung at the end of the funeral service. And wants an ice cream sundae bar at the funeral luncheon. And wants everyone to have a hot fudge sundae in her honor.

My mom and dad said - whatever you want done and your pastor can do the service (I am the only one of my sibs who attends church regularly).

Aceon6
10-14-2010, 01:03 AM
Am I the only one who finds this thread seriously creepy, esp since the OP still has his mother & apparently she's not even sick. Why would you think about what to play at your well mother's funeral?

Based on the number of relatives who didn't get the send off they wanted, no. The only way to get what you want is to decide, write it down, and make sure your survivors know where you're wishes are kept. I think it makes perfect sense to discuss this when everyone's fairly healthy.

An uncle wanted a church funeral followed by a party... I mean a PARTY! He had an envelope marked final instructions with the venue, music, partial guest list, and a filled in withdrawal slip for his son and daughters to take the money from one of his accounts. It was a blast. Great music from the 40s and 50s, plenty of food and drink. Just what he wanted.

Sparks
10-14-2010, 01:43 AM
At my mother's memorial service, we palyed mostly my mom's favorites: Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, and other Jazz/Blues women of her day. We put in some beautiful Eva Cassidy for good measure.
Many people commented that it was a "Rightious ceremony".
Her only grandchild read an excerpt from her favorite book, Alice in Wonderland.

I know I want my faves played at my service. I think about it often, and I'm not dying...yet.

numbers123
10-14-2010, 01:46 AM
Her only grandchild read an excerpt from her favorite book, Alice in Wonderland.


oooh I like this idea - as you can tell by my location and signature, I love Alice in Wonderland.

Aimless
10-14-2010, 02:09 AM
I think of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Moon River". Those songs speak of the magnificence of life, age and youth, everything we know and don't know, the beauty around us in people and nature, the meaning of love and loved ones. I want those songs, so maybe my inexpressibly darling mother would too.

cruisin
10-14-2010, 02:12 AM
"I Can Only Imagine" does that to me to. I've had to pull over my car...:wuzrobbed. The hospital chaplain and I sang the chorus of "Fly..." when my dad was taken off of life support. I failed a Gold dance while he was in the hospital. After he passed, I passed my last Gold dance for my Gold medal and prayed to "dance for Jesus". I publicly thanked them both in the lobby of the ice rink.

(((skatemommy))) awww.

suep1963
10-14-2010, 02:44 AM
:D:D:D:cool::cool::cool:

I like that! My almost-70 buddy and I talked about this. He says he doesn't want any "dirge music" played for him - only jazz, classic R&B and soul. He wants to be celebrated, not mourned.

My mom and I were watching Ted Kennedy's funeral on TV. After Yoyoma finished playing, my mom turned to me and said, "I do not want dirge music at my funeral--only happy Methodist music!"

My dad died 15 years ago. I still cannot sing Amazing Grace without getting teary. Our good friend (and retired pastor) sang and his wife played the organ. Every verse she'd go up a half step.

My one sister has always said she wants "In the Garden"


I want Time to Say Goodbye and Amazing Grace and I Was There to Hear Your Borning Cry sung at my funeral, hopefully sung by my cousins who have absolutely wonderful voices.

My best friend wants Happy Trails to You sung at the end of the funeral service. And wants an ice cream sundae bar at the funeral luncheon. And wants everyone to have a hot fudge sundae in her honor.

My mom and dad said - whatever you want done and your pastor can do the service (I am the only one of my sibs who attends church regularly).

I love Borning Cry--our bell choir has a beautful version.

Speaking of Happy Trails, there was a guy from our church who had been very active in Boy Scouts. He was cremated and at the memorial service, his ashes were in a Trails End popcorn tin--his wishes!!

dbny
10-14-2010, 06:01 AM
My mom, who died of congestive heart failure, was hospitalized for a week before, and repeatedly asked for a poem she had known as a child, called "The End of a Perfect Day." One of her friends found it for her, and read it at her memorial service. It was actually a song by Carrie Jacobs-Bond. My mom had a very hard life, growing up impoverished on an Illinois farm, and suffering chronic illness and near-poverty most of her adult life, so it came as a real surprise, and a gift, to me, that this is how she viewed her life.

A PERFECT DAY

When you come to the end of a perfect day,
And you sit alone with your thought,
While the chimes ring out with a carol gay
For the joy that the day has brought,
Do you think what the end of a perfect day
Can mean to a tired heart,
When the sun goes down with a flaming ray,
And the dear friends have to part?

Well, this is the end of a perfect day,
Near the end of a journey, too;
But it leaves a thought that is big and strong,
With a wish that is kind and true.
For mem'ry has painted this perfect day
With colors that never fade,
And we find at the end of a perfect day
The soul of a friend we've made.

JasperBoy
10-14-2010, 06:21 AM
My choices are the Shaker hymn, Tis the Gift to be Simple. Also Lord of the Dance.
If I got to choose a third, (and why not?) it would be These are My Mountains. And a fourth would be the Dutch Hymn of Thanksgiving "We gather together".

Not Amazing Grace. It's a beautiful hymn but it is so connected with funerals that it is hard to listen to without crying. I used to belong to a Highland Dance group and the piper played that before the annual recital. Well, bad idea. The whole audience would be sniveling before the kids began to dance. Hence, Lord of the Dance for me!

I told my mother about my choices and she said she would like the same selections. Haven't had to put that into practise yet, and Mom is 96!

Jot the Dot Dot
10-14-2010, 11:34 AM
Am I the only one who finds this thread seriously creepy, esp since the OP still has his mother & apparently she's not even sick. Why would you think about what to play at your well mother's funeral?

Sorry if you feel this way, that was not my intention. Us kids can get emotional at times.

ebayj
10-15-2010, 11:51 PM
Am I the only one who finds this thread seriously creepy, esp since the OP still has his mother & apparently she's not even sick. Why would you think about what to play at your well mother's funeral?

Not creepy in the least. It is planning thoughtfully to honor a loved one's wishes. Every family is different, and this may not be for your family. But knowing in advance what my mother wanted and arranging what she wanted has brought me comfort every day since her death. Friends and relatives to this day compliment us on the music we used at mom's funeral and tell us it helped to make a very, very difficult time more bearable for them.

Nora_Charles
10-16-2010, 12:30 AM
My mom, who died of congestive heart failure, was hospitalized for a week before, and repeatedly asked for a poem she had known as a child, called "The End of a Perfect Day." One of her friends found it for her, and read it at her memorial service. It was actually a song by Carrie Jacobs-Bond. My mom had a very hard life, growing up impoverished on an Illinois farm, and suffering chronic illness and near-poverty most of her adult life, so it came as a real surprise, and a gift, to me, that this is how she viewed her life.

A PERFECT DAY

When you come to the end of a perfect day,
And you sit alone with your thought,
While the chimes ring out with a carol gay
For the joy that the day has brought,
Do you think what the end of a perfect day
Can mean to a tired heart,
When the sun goes down with a flaming ray,
And the dear friends have to part?

Well, this is the end of a perfect day,
Near the end of a journey, too;
But it leaves a thought that is big and strong,
With a wish that is kind and true.
For mem'ry has painted this perfect day
With colors that never fade,
And we find at the end of a perfect day
The soul of a friend we've made.

Oh, wow, dbny. That is beautiful.:wuzrobbed

Meredith
10-16-2010, 03:55 PM
Based on the number of relatives who didn't get the send off they wanted, no. The only way to get what you want is to decide, write it down, and make sure your survivors know where you're wishes are kept. I think it makes perfect sense to discuss this when everyone's fairly healthy.

An uncle wanted a church funeral followed by a party... I mean a PARTY! He had an envelope marked final instructions with the venue, music, partial guest list, and a filled in withdrawal slip for his son and daughters to take the money from one of his accounts. It was a blast. Great music from the 40s and 50s, plenty of food and drink. Just what he wanted.

I'm with Aceon6. If music and other plans (party!) are important to you, then by all means arrange accordingly. In writing.

Thank you for bringing up music at funerals, Jot the Dot Dot. I hadn't given it any thought.

My parents are gone and I could not tell you the music played at their funerals, even though I, along with their pastor, chose it. He knew their taste in hymns much better than I, and the choices probably had meaning to him and their fellow parishioners. As the oldest living member of my family, I'm coming to the conclusion that I would want my children to choose music that was meaningful to them, even if their selections included "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead." :eek:

dbny and Ebayj, you made me cry - in a good way, of course.

Skate Talker
10-16-2010, 05:32 PM
My mother passed away in February and it was so much easier that she had written down her wishes and discussed them with us beforehand. You are faced with so many decisions that have to be made so quickly - everything that has been pre-decided is a blessing. Also in our case it was helpful to ensure my brother understood that my sister and I truly did know what she wanted as it was not traditional and he definitely is.

canadianskater
10-16-2010, 06:40 PM
When my aunt passed away she wanted the song Angel and I will remember you by Sarah Mclachlan played at her wake. Then at her funeral she got the French version of I did it my way played as her casket was leaving the church. It was a perfect song selection that suited her perfectly.