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View Full Version : CNN Opinion Article: Is Infidelity Natural?



Satellitegirl
09-02-2010, 07:28 PM
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/09/02/shalit.infidelity/index.html?hpt=C2

This article cracked me up...thought I'd share. :)

UMBS Go Blue
09-02-2010, 07:52 PM
What appropriate discussion fodder for the Hot Tub thread. ;)

Aimless
09-03-2010, 02:56 PM
I never understand these issues. I was born without the jealousy gene. I don't give a damn what my men do when they aren't with me.

PeterG
09-03-2010, 04:42 PM
Interesting that this thread has come up, because I was thinking of doing a poll asking people if they would be more upset if their partner...

a. shared their dreams, hopes and goals with someone other than them, or
b. had sex outside of the relationship

I think the vast majority of people would choose option B, but I would find A much more upsetting. Boinking some stranger on vacation is not as bad to me as emotional openness and intimacy that was not shared with me. Curious as to what others thoughts are.

The wording of the article's title is strange to me. Why "is infidelity natural" instead of "is monogomy natural"?

I don't expect to give a partner everything he wants as far as friendship, someone to talk to/with, travel partner, someone to have fun and laugh with, someone to share common interests with... Why is sex the only thing society says, "ONLY WITH ME!!!!"? A mate can go outside the relationship for all of their needs except sex. I think this is strange/confusing.

Satellitegirl
09-03-2010, 05:31 PM
My ex-boyfriend actually told me he talked to this one girl online(see the "halp relationship" thread I made for further details) because he could tell her anything and they had confided in one another more than anyone else and he had told her things he wouldn't tell anyone else. Considering he'd never met her, and he was dating me, yeah that hurt as bad as cheating to me.

I have no problem with people who want open relationships...it's just not for me personally.

Anita18
09-03-2010, 09:17 PM
I never understand these issues. I was born without the jealousy gene. I don't give a damn what my men do when they aren't with me.
I think it also depends on the person you're with. I was an unsufferable jealous beeeyotch with my first bf, but he had low self-esteem and would try to attract the attentions of other women just to make himself feel better. Also, I was immature then. :lol:

With my current bf, he's much more self-assured and he worked me into a relationship so patiently over half a year, if he did manage to cheat on me, I'd actually be impressed instead of angry. :rofl:

bobalina77
09-03-2010, 10:41 PM
My ex-boyfriend actually told me he talked to this one girl online(see the "halp relationship" thread I made for further details) because he could tell her anything and they had confided in one another more than anyone else and he had told her things he wouldn't tell anyone else. Considering he'd never met her, and he was dating me, yeah that hurt as bad as cheating to me.

I have no problem with people who want open relationships...it's just not for me personally.

I'm with you on this one.. if I didn't feel comfortable talking to my fiance (that sounds so weird lol) about anything I wouldn't be with him. Doesn't mean I won't talk to someone else about those things too.. but if it gets to the point where I'm talking to that other person and only that other person about the important things then there's definitely an issue.

nerdycool
09-04-2010, 12:17 AM
Interesting that this thread has come up, because I was thinking of doing a poll asking people if they would be more upset if their partner...

a. shared their dreams, hopes and goals with someone other than them, or
b. had sex outside of the relationship
Call me picky, but if either A or B happened, I don't want to be in the relationship. B is definitely a deal-breaker because I do not share my men willingly, and A is close behind. Sure, Mr. nerdycool can stay true to me physically, but if A happens, all it tells me is that I'm good in the sack and that's all. Basically making me feel dumb, slutty and not worthy of him. And I don't need that.

mpal2
09-04-2010, 01:08 AM
Interesting that this thread has come up, because I was thinking of doing a poll asking people if they would be more upset if their partner...

a. shared their dreams, hopes and goals with someone other than them, or
b. had sex outside of the relationship


I would actually consider both to be cheating. It's just a different way of cheating. Option A depends on how deeply involved you are in the relationship though. If I just met someone I would expect option a to exist automatically. We wouldn't be close enough for me to expect that kind of intimacy.

skategal
09-04-2010, 01:51 AM
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/09/02/shalit.infidelity/index.html?hpt=C2

This article cracked me up...thought I'd share. :)


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Thanks for posting that. TOO funny...

AliasJohnDoe
09-04-2010, 07:55 PM
If there was no such thing as a monogomous long-term relationship....I'd rather stay single my whole life.

I don't think infidelity is "natural"....I think it's chosen. Heck, there are even some animals that mate for life. And won't mate with another if that mate dies. I'd say monogamy is more natural than infidelity.

Rhianna
09-04-2010, 07:57 PM
I would actually consider both to be cheating. It's just a different way of cheating. Option A depends on how deeply involved you are in the relationship though. If I just met someone I would expect option a to exist automatically. We wouldn't be close enough for me to expect that kind of intimacy.

I definitely think they're both cheating, Option A is an emotional affair, Option B is a physical affair. Option A is worse to me. And I've seen Option A lead to Option B quite a number of times.