PDA

View Full Version : Discrimination against fat girls



Pages : 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8 9

cruisin
08-22-2010, 09:25 PM
Yep-and every time you pick up a tabloid magazine you see some article about Oprah's fluctuating weight. She's thin! She's fat! She's losing! She's gaining!

Instead of celebrating her success, too often many times her publicity revolves around her weight. Not all the time, but too darn much.

I agree, but part of that is coming from Oprah herself. She has announced her most wonderful, lifetime lasting, weight loss plans a few too many times. She has put herself front and center to celebrate her weight losses and bemoan her gains. She sort of makes herself fair game by bringing so much focus on it.

Speaking of Oprah, I saw her photo on the cover of her magazine. Her hair is really short and she looks fabulous!

genevieve
08-22-2010, 09:25 PM
Actually, I've seen it in this thread, that's why I posted. yes, there is discussion about the upper level of average vs. plus size, but that tends to be compared to the unrealistic (for most) sizes of 0-2.

Rex
08-22-2010, 09:55 PM
^^ Lots of portly men are very successful, so :confused: And there are plenty of overweight women who are successful - can you spell Oprah?

As far as the club's advertising, it wasn't illegal, but it was ignorant and hurtful and reprehensible. It is no more reasonable to treat overweight people badly as it is to treat races or ethnicities badly. The only difference is that it's not taboo. Judging a person because of what they look like based on weight, color, shape of their features, the language they speak is ugly, period.

I know of quite a few full-figured women with high corporate positions...I worked with two of them at ARAMARK.

Holley Calmes
08-22-2010, 10:02 PM
Speaking of Oprah, I saw her photo on the cover of her magazine. Her hair is really short and she looks fabulous!

Yep-and I thought she looked fabulous even when she was a little heavier. She carries it well. Maybe if I had her money I would carry my size 12 flab better, too.....

*Jen*
08-22-2010, 10:06 PM
Actually, I've seen it in this thread, that's why I posted. yes, there is discussion about the upper level of average vs. plus size, but that tends to be compared to the unrealistic (for most) sizes of 0-2.

Well I for one did say that there is a huge difference between a 0 and a 12. I totally agree with you. Before this thread even started, I was talking to my roommate because we were watching a reality program on model scouts, who were trying to find someone for the AVON campaign in England. The finalists were 35 models plus 3 normal girls - one who was too short to model normally, and the others were too big.

One of the girls was plus sized, one was a US 6. They went with the tiny girl.

My roommate and I commented that it was so nice to see the size 6, because she was a real size. Not a plus size, not a tiny size, but the size of most people I know. You don't see that often, if ever, in modeling (except with the girl in the link in the first post, who clearly isn't plus size).

PRlady
08-22-2010, 10:19 PM
My roommate and I commented that it was so nice to see the size 6, because she was a real size. Not a plus size, not a tiny size, but the size of most people I know. You don't see that often, if ever, in modeling (except with the girl in the link in the first post, who clearly isn't plus size).

I think the "average" in the US is now a 14. Meaning we 6-10 women are now on the thin side, at least here.

But to Tinami's point, there's a difference between fit enough to do a demanding job and thin. I found this story in today's Washington Post fascinating http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/08/21/AR2010082102600.html about all the women now leading the American arms control efforts. And the piggy reactions from their Russian male counterparts, too. :lol:

Look at the photo gallery. The women are not young, of course, because it takes a while to rise to the top of a demanding field like this. It's hard to tell from all the photos which tend to be headshots, but certainly they are not size sixes and a couple are definitely on the plump side. So what. For that matter, Mrs. Clinton has taken a lot of guff for her pear-shaped body and she's over sixty now.

This will sound odd, but I'm personally getting tired of being told I don't look my age because I'm a size 8-10. I'm long-limbed which makes me look thinner and I exercise a lot, but when did fiftysomething equal fat? And as the mom of a big girl who will always be curvy at any weight I'm doubly annoyed at the equation of thin with "better." If I stopped smoking and gained twenty pounds, I'd certainly be healthier but then I would get fewer compliments on being attractive. Can't win.

cruisin
08-22-2010, 10:23 PM
Yep-and I thought she looked fabulous even when she was a little heavier. She carries it well. Maybe if I had her money I would carry my size 12 flab better, too.....

I'm going to tell you what I tell my best friend. My best friend is quite overweight, a size 18. She is constantly berating herself for her weight and feeling unattractive. I tell her that I wish she could see herself through my eyes for a little while. Because if she did, she'd see how beautiful she is. So, Miss Holley, stop thinking unattractive about you!



My roommate and I commented that it was so nice to see the size 6, because she was a real size. Not a plus size, not a tiny size, but the size of most people I know. You don't see that often, if ever, in modeling (except with the girl in the link in the first post, who clearly isn't plus size).

A size 6 is still a very small size.

*Jen*
08-22-2010, 10:28 PM
A size 6 is still a very small size.

You keep saying that, but it's not when compared to a model.

oleada
08-22-2010, 10:30 PM
This will sound odd, but I'm personally getting tired of being told I don't look my age because I'm a size 8-10. I'm long-limbed which makes me look thinner and I exercise a lot, but when did fiftysomething equal fat? And as the mom of a big girl who will always be curvy at any weight I'm doubly annoyed at the equation of thin with "better." If I stopped smoking and gained twenty pounds, I'd certainly be healthier but then I would get fewer compliments on being attractive. Can't win.

This bothers my mom as well, so you're not the only one. Age does not equal fat. She doesn't smoke, but she's about a size 4 at age 50. She works out 5 days a week - it's just part of her daily routine. She thinks that a lot of people use motherhood or older age to let themselves go, when it does not have to be that way at all.

cruisin
08-22-2010, 11:10 PM
You keep saying that, but it's not when compared to a model.

But, models are not within the range of normal. And I am not saying that because I am a size 6. I am 5' 10" and wear a 2/4. I am not normal, but I am also obsessed with my weight. Which is not good. I like my weight, I feel good at this weight, I'm not thin for men, but that doesn't mean it's good.


This bothers my mom as well, so you're not the only one. Age does not equal fat. She doesn't smoke, but she's about a size 4 at age 50. She works out 5 days a week - it's just part of her daily routine. She thinks that a lot of people use motherhood or older age to let themselves go, when it does not have to be that way at all.

I'm 57 and I get the same surprised reaction when I tell people my age. I walk 2 miles every day, I work out with weights every day. I eat very carefully. And I know the reaction is because of my weight. So, yes, why do people think age = weight.

Holley Calmes
08-22-2010, 11:40 PM
I'm going to tell you what I tell my best friend. My best friend is quite overweight, a size 18. She is constantly berating herself for her weight and feeling unattractive. I tell her that I wish she could see herself through my eyes for a little while. Because if she did, she'd see how beautiful she is. So, Miss Holley, stop thinking unattractive about you!

A size 6 is still a very small size.

Aw..thanks! Well, let's see....I lived and participated in the ballet world from age 3 to 28. Yes, I was once 105 pounds. Then I married a runner and lived in the just-as-sick aerobic athlete world. I could only run 3 miles at a time and was thus inferior.....and I wore a size 4-6, which was gargantuan.

It's been a long journey, and I'm still looking in the mirror at age 60 and going.....girl, you really need to lose about 20 pounds! Mind...I'm not fat. I'm just not what almost every group I've been around in my life deems desireable.

I'm truly ok, but I do have a lot of empathy for those out there who see themselves in terms of weight. Unhealthy fat is bad. But there's got to be a rational "normal" out there somewhere. Fortunately, my dear runner husband likes a little squishiness. :)

Tinami Amori
08-22-2010, 11:59 PM
^^ Lots of portly men are very successful, so :confused: And there are plenty of overweight women who are successful - can you spell Oprah?

If I work on it very hard, with 5 dictionaries, I will be able to spell “Oprah”, but can you pay a bit more attention to the texts you reply to….. :lol: (quoting myself)


High ranking professional females, who are not fit and trim, are either much older women, or one-hell-of-special-professionals with unique skills and abilities.

Younger career women in corporate environment do tend to be “fit and trim” and attractive women are more likely to be hired, given all other qualifications are the same, and if not the same, the attractive women still get preference. That’s a fact of life. Also, there is a belief that “if you can’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of business”, and if you’re attractive – the clients’ reaction will be more positive.

Again, if one has special skills or big name in the industry the “standards” of any kind are less likely to apply. But when one is young and starting out and not an immediately recognized “genius”, one better “conform” to the current “standards”, which are not only about “weight”. In a corporate environment, if you want to dress like a punk-rocker and stroll into the office at 10 am vs. 8 am…… you better be “one of a kind” in your field….. :D.

By the way – “fit and trim” – does not mean “size 2-4”…… It means FIT AND TRIM, which can mean different sizes and weights depending on one’s height and proportions.


What I find interesting in conversations about weight (esp on the internet, where everything gravitates toward the extremes), is that there never seems to be a middle ground. Women are trying to be thin. Or they are plus/sized/overweight, or on the cusp of. Most of the people I see on a daily basis are neither. They are firmly in the size 6-10 range. Some are toned/fit, others are a bit lumpy in places...but in discussions, it always feels like the groups are the thin vs. everyone else. And that anyone who isn't actively working to be THIN is somehow derelict in their social obligation regardless of how much they weigh.

Right on about the constant comparison of “extreme cases”! The “fat” is really not about the size – it’s about looking “disproportionate” with “extras hanging”. It’s about AESTHETICS, and not a “numerical measure”.


But to Tinami's point, there's a difference between fit enough to do a demanding job and thin. I found this story in today's Washington Post fascinating http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/08/21/AR2010082102600.html about all the women now leading the American arms control efforts. And the piggy reactions from their Russian male counterparts, too. :lol:.

I did not find anything about “weight of these women” in the editorial or as “quotes by the Russians”.

I also did not find “piggy reaction of Russian males”, but a mare comment “Why so many women”.

You think THAT is bad? You should have been in Russia 20 years ago, in a business environment, as a woman…….

Back in the 1990’s in Russia, I used to walk into business offices and bring my driver with me, so he does not stay in the cold with the car. The secretaries and the businessmen would think that I am either a translator or a secretary and that my driver is The One to deal with.

Once I was so amused by a Russian FAA department director’s overtures to my driver, while completely ignoring me, that I let the driver come into the meeting, sit at the negotiation table, while I sat in the corner chair, pretending to take notes…… :D.

Let me tell you the women in Russia are not better than men in their perception of the roles of women in the work place and what, as they put it “appropriate male and female occupations”. Women ARE WORST! They get pissed at a woman if she is a career-woman, if she makes money and not tied down by “family burdens”… Russian women get aggressive and insulting insisting that “Motherhood and being a Good Wife is the primary function in NORMAL woman’s life”.

While Russian men will quickly let go of their prejudices when they start seeing The Money from a woman, many (not all) Russian women are B!TCHES who, now-days more than ever, need constant validation of their choice to be “wife and mother”…… as they see world passing them by, feeling full financial dependence on their men while the later enjoy the company of younger women…. :D.

Russian men are ANGELS compared to some Russian women. Russian men will make a “piggy comment” but you get a wire transfer if you can “deliver the goods”. Russian women (who work as their secretaries) are likely to make sure that they loose your fax-page or not send you an email…. They (Russian women) will do all that is possible to openly disrespect you while showing lots of respect to your male-business associates.

I love Russian men and their piggy-comments…… I could definitely drown lots of Russian secretaries in the Black Sea… :D

Oh, I so wish, my dear PRlady you go and work a bit in Russia…… You will kiss the asphalt of TelAviv afterwards…. :lol:

Lainerb
08-23-2010, 12:32 AM
I was always a touch overweight while growing up(perhaps 15-20lbs) or so and then suddenly with work and school and no time in between I became quite a bit over weight. I lost 60lbs feel great, have good energy, but the problem is people I knew growing up who were used to me being a little on the chubby side now feel as though I am too thin and emaciated. I am by no means under weight, but compared the way I was I am a stick figure now and people seem to not adjust to that weight shift either. Oh well..

cruisin
08-23-2010, 01:16 AM
I was always a touch overweight while growing up(perhaps 15-20lbs) or so and then suddenly with work and school and no time in between I became quite a bit over weight. I lost 60lbs feel great, have good energy, but the problem is people I knew growing up who were used to me being a little on the chubby side now feel as though I am too thin and emaciated. I am by no means under weight, but compared the way I was I am a stick figure now and people seem to not adjust to that weight shift either. Oh well..

People always have something to say.

Anita18
08-23-2010, 01:41 AM
Hope this isn't too off topic. I have a sister-in-law who was always chipmunk-chubby. Then she was in a car accident that kept her in the hospital for over a month. After rehabilitation, she returned to work. A regular customer who had no knowledge of the accident comes to her store and comments about her slimmer figure. "How did you do it?" Mary hesitated at rehashing the event, when a co-worker steps in and says "Oh, she went on this incredible crash diet". Black humor, but good thing for me is that she chuckled while relating this to me.
:cheer: for the co-worker!

I've always been underweight but I lost another 10 lbs from (and then slow recovery from) stomach flu. I've gained most of it back, but when I eat out, I still have trouble finishing my plate, when I didn't usually have trouble before. It occurs to me every so often that it really looks like I have an eating disorder now, but if people want to think that about me, that's really not my problem. :shuffle:

The only person who comments on my weight is my roommate, who says that she's jealous of my lanky, stickly frame from time to time. Most of it is genetic, but if she wanted to lose those last 10 lbs, she was certainly welcome to take my stomach flu from me and only be able to eat an apple a day. :lynch:


What I find interesting in conversations about weight (esp on the internet, where everything gravitates toward the extremes), is that there never seems to be a middle ground. Women are trying to be thin. Or they are plus/sized/overweight, or on the cusp of. Most of the people I see on a daily basis are neither. They are firmly in the size 6-10 range. Some are toned/fit, others are a bit lumpy in places...but in discussions, it always feels like the groups are the thin vs. everyone else. And that anyone who isn't actively working to be THIN is somehow derelict in their social obligation regardless of how much they weigh.
Well since we're only going on textual descriptions here, it's hard to say where people are starting from when they say they have another 30 lbs to lose. Maybe that's reasonable, maybe that's ridiculous. But it's hard to gauge when you aren't seeing the people involved.


This bothers my mom as well, so you're not the only one. Age does not equal fat. She doesn't smoke, but she's about a size 4 at age 50. She works out 5 days a week - it's just part of her daily routine. She thinks that a lot of people use motherhood or older age to let themselves go, when it does not have to be that way at all.
Well, it's also that a lot of people's metabolisms change when they age and in order for their bodies to look as fit, they'd have to work a lot harder to keep it up and many people aren't willing/able to do that.

My mom is naturally super-tiny, doesn't have to work for it at all, and she just welcomes the comments that she must be my sister. :saint:

She would be another case that being skinny doesn't mean being fit. She's only in her mid-50's and already suffering from osteoporosis, a symptom of being so small-framed. And Asian, and female. :P