View Full Version : Halp....A relationship dilemma

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08-19-2010, 07:57 PM
As someone who had done "long distance" relationship for years.... you either trust him or you don't... and if you don't cut your lossses now. I read the OPs statement of how she apologized, but I think that there is still an issue.

08-21-2010, 08:44 PM
Yeah there was, and I broke up with him today. It wasn't just this issue, there were others. I was unhappy, he was unhappy. We're both better off, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now at least.

08-22-2010, 07:04 AM
Sorry to hear that, but it's good that you decided to call it off. Nobody should be unhappy in a relationship.

08-22-2010, 07:15 AM
Now that you guys broke up, I want to say that although I do think you should be able to trust your bf, especially in a long-distance relationship, I didn't like how he didn't respect your position and got him and the girl to tell you how ridiculous your feelings were from what I gathered. It's not as if she was just a close friend of his who happened to be a girl, but she was a person who told him that she had feelings for him and yet he kept himself in a vulnerable position to be tempted (whether she was an online friend or not is besides the point to me). I know he said it was out of his friendship to her, but maybe it was also the attention from her that he liked.

Either way, I'm sorry to hear about your break up, but am happy for you if this really is the best thing for the both of you.

08-22-2010, 01:33 PM
I've said it before, but DH and I have different interests. He knows that I love figureskating and I know that he loves sailing and genology. If we were uncomfortable about the chatting situtations we would express our distress with each other as the OP did with her BF. It sometimes helps for a little perspective which is what she asked us about.

Yeah, but would most guys really be concerned if their significant others chat with other guys about .... figure skating ? I don't think so :lol:.

09-01-2010, 04:13 PM
We've been talking as friends lately, and he actual apologized profusely for how he handled the whole situation of going back and telling her about our argument. He apparently blocked her on his IM after we broke up, because he was sick of her and her weird issues anyhow. He told me last night that as soon as we break up he gets the feeling that he wants to do all the things to make the relationship better, etc.

Very annoying to hear that afterward....that was our biggest issue though, and I basically told him this....that if we really cared as much as we thought,we would have worked past the stubbornness while in our relationship.

I think things get viewed from rose colored glasses when someone realizes they're alone, after a relationship. I'm working very hard to not do that this time. I don't think he is though. I still care about him, but I think if we ever do want to try being together again, we need a very long break from one another(like a year at least) to date other people and see if the qualities we appreciate in one another really are that unique, or if we're just caught up in the drama of it all.

Anyhow, just a little update.

09-01-2010, 04:55 PM
Don't do it. I see a pattern here. He seems to desire you the most and is most willing to make an effort when he doesn't have you. Then you get back together and he's his old self. Guys like him don't change.

09-01-2010, 05:18 PM
Yeah I don't foresee him keeping this tune very long anyhow...he's just in the aftershocks of the break-up.

Thanks :)

03-14-2011, 03:30 AM
Lol I just had to post an update here...

He and the girl who texted...are now together. When I found out I had to :rofl:

Guess it was meant to be :P

03-14-2011, 03:43 AM
Wow. well your instincts were right then.:eek:

03-14-2011, 04:08 AM
I just randomly saw this, and your original hunches in the first post were obviously completely correct. I would have broken up with him right there, and I'm neither jealous nor needy (I let my boyfriends do what they want as long as they are forthcoming.) But I've never tolerated someone who would make a mockery of my feelings or sit on the loyalty fence.

What an icky situation for you. Hope you are feeling better.

03-14-2011, 04:15 AM
Lol I just had to post an update here...

He and the girl who texted...are now together. When I found out I had to :rofl:

Guess it was meant to be :P
Eh, it happens. Soon after my first bf and I broke up, he took up with a girl who I suspected he had feelings for while with me.

She trampled on his heart not long after. :shuffle: But luckily he's found happiness and is married to someone else entirely, I'm very happy with my current bf, and hopefully the other girl has figured out her romantic hangups, so everything works out in the end. :)

03-14-2011, 04:23 PM
Yeah I'm fine, PUNKPRINCESS...we've been broken up for several months and I've moved on. Thanks :)

03-14-2011, 05:38 PM
She's a very needy type that likes attention from guys and goes after the unattainable(this is what my bf has told me).

In retrospect...."needy" my *ss. BWAHAHAHAHA. :rofl:

03-14-2011, 05:55 PM
At least you now know that you weren't crazy and that your instincts were right.