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algonquin
08-17-2010, 03:55 PM
Only children: not so lonely after all (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/family-and-relationships/only-children-not-so-lonely-after-all/article1675517/)

This is the opposite of the Duggar's thread.

My husband is an only child and it looks like we will only have one child, due to some complicated circumstances more than a conscious choice.

Thoughts?

Cheylana
08-17-2010, 04:24 PM
If anything, being an only child might actually be better - you are more motivated to get out there and make friends, rather than relying on companionship from your siblings. Plus you get more of your parents' attention and no hand-me-downs :D

One potential downside is fewer opportunities to learn how to share limited resources while growing up. Have there been any studies on this issue?

Hannahclear
08-17-2010, 05:01 PM
I was an only and was lonely as hell as a child. It couldn't be helped, as my dad had children from an earlier marriage who he had to care for, but it sucked.

I think I'm relatively normal socially, though I'm more of a "small-circle" person. I'm much like my husband in this regard, and he had two brothers, so I think that's more a temperment thing.

We just had our first baby, and while I don't love the sleep deprivation thing, I'm still planning another, as long as everything goes right biologically.

Bottom line, if you can only have one, then that's the way it is. No need to feel guilty about it and I'm sure the kid will be just fine.

IceAlisa
08-17-2010, 05:05 PM
Only children were the rule rather then the exception when I was growing up (no diapers, anyone?) so it wasn't a big deal.

I learned to read when I was 5 and don't remember being lonely as long as I had a good book with me. My first cousin who is of comparable age is like a sister to me without the competition for parental attention. It's all good!

I think either way is fine.

floskate
08-17-2010, 05:18 PM
I'm an only child and can't say I've ever been at a disadvantage socially. Like you IceAlisa I was reading very early and that is still one of my favourite pastimes. My Mum was always a big reader and trying to get her attention while she was stuck in a good book was a lost cause so I guess I thought if you can't beat 'em..... I don't ever remember being lonely and even today, I enjoy my own company as and when the occasion arises. My partner on the other hand, who is from a large family of siblings, hates being alone. The one thing I am bad at as a result of being an only child is sharing. :lol: I can get very propriatorial over things even with my partner and have to check myself sometimes because it's completely irrational behaviour and of course I know where it stems from, but sometimes I just can't stop myself!! :shuffle:

ChelleC
08-17-2010, 05:19 PM
I'm also an only child. So is my mom, and my biological father has one sister, but she's around 12 years younger than my father. So I never really had cousins while I was growing up.

I don't remember, really ever being lonely. Like Ice Alisa said, give me a book, and I'm a very happy person.

purple skates
08-17-2010, 05:20 PM
I'm an only, and so is my son. I never had any problems gorwing up - I had plenty of friends to hang with when I wanted them, and my books when I didn't. I think my son struggles with being an only a bit more than I did, because he doesn't like to read and there's only so much video games/tv you can do before getting bored. He plays a lot of athletics, which helps, but it's the downtime at home that gets tedious for him at times - especially in the summer.

fan
08-17-2010, 05:36 PM
I'm also an only child. So is my mom, and my biological father has one sister, but she's around 12 years younger than my father. So I never really had cousins while I was growing up.

I don't remember, really ever being lonely. Like Ice Alisa said, give me a book, and I'm a very happy person.

me too. i'm happiest with a good book.

that said, i'd love to have more than one child, only to keep each other company as their parents age. my parents have divorced, and my dad is ill. he is lonely having only one child as a support, and it's a tough burden for an only child to face (aging, sick parents with no familial support).

BlueRidge
08-17-2010, 05:41 PM
I wonder if an only child is similiar to the first child in temparament and the like, if most only children are outgoing and assertive as that is how first children tend to be?

(speaking as a second child...)

IceAlisa
08-17-2010, 06:03 PM
I wonder if an only child is similiar to the first child in temparament and the like, if most only children are outgoing and assertive as that is how first children tend to be?

(speaking as a second child...)

I may have heard something along these lines that as a psych major in college. Although I wouldn't really describe myself as outgoing. I am very introverted.

BlueRidge
08-17-2010, 06:12 PM
I may have heard something along these lines that as a psych major in college. Although I wouldn't really describe myself as outgoing. I am very introverted.

I would not have pegged you for introverted at all. Online is so deceptive...

IceAlisa
08-17-2010, 06:13 PM
I would not have pegged you for introverted at all. Online is so deceptive...

Sure is. ;)

BlueRidge
08-17-2010, 06:14 PM
To think we are all so quiet in real life...

agalisgv
08-17-2010, 06:15 PM
I'm not :)




:P

BlueRidge
08-17-2010, 06:19 PM
I'm not :)




:P

Noisy!