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oleada
08-18-2010, 02:26 AM
My brother and I are 15 months apart(:yikes:), and we've always gotten along really well. We fought, obviously, but never too bad. We played together all the time as little kids, and planned stuff out together when we were older. My sister is 4 years younger, and as kids we fought all the time. I don't think I really liked her until she hit age 10 or so, and I didn't enjoy her until she was about 13. We get along well now, though, and I am closer to my sister than I am to my brother.

IceAlisa
08-18-2010, 02:30 AM
It's interesting to me that so many onlies say they were never lonely because they read a lot. I did and do that, too, but I'm not convinced that being entertained or engaged is the same thing as not being lonely.

Alright. When my parents asked me (and this happened many times) if I wanted a brother or a sister, I consistently replied with an emphatic "No!" :D I may have tried to negotiate for a cat instead a few times.

I don't ever remember feeling that I wished there was a sibling with whom to play or feeling deprived in any way. I was thrilled when I got a change to play with my cousins who were only one year younger than me but I never as a child wished for a sibling.

The first time I felt extremely lonely was when I was stuck on the East Coast years ago over Thanksgiving while my family was on the West Coast. From then on I always have Thanksgiving dinner at my house.

Another time (this was when I was already married and Mini Ice was very little) hubby took Mini Ice to see his folks on the East Coast. I couldn't come because of grad school. But when the weekend rolled around and their absence became too much that I used my points to hop on a plane to follow them.

Neither of these episodes of acute loneliness involve having or not having a sibling.

pat c
08-18-2010, 04:19 AM
It might be good for the kids, but I think most parents would be less thrilled at the prospect :lol:.

It's interesting to me that so many onlies say they were never lonely because they read a lot. I did and do that, too, but I'm not convinced that being entertained or engaged is the same thing as not being lonely.

I also lived where I could ride my own horse any time, had a lot of pets, and had peer interaction on an hour's bus ride each way to school It depends on where you lived I guess. ;)

numbers123
08-18-2010, 04:40 AM
Spouse is an only child of sorts. He had a half-brother who lived with his dad. He had a step sister who lived with his dad and stepmom. So he was an only child with siblings ;)

My extended family is quite large. I have 23 first cousins on my mom's side and she has 6 siblings - at the largest when everyone was married and some had kids, there would be Christmas dinners with ~50 people. That overwhelmed him big time. On my dad's side, I have 7 first cousins, but he is estranged (sp) from one sister and her kids.


My brother and I are 15 months apart(:yikes:), and we've always gotten along really well. We fought, obviously, but never too bad. We played together all the time as little kids, and planned stuff out together when we were older. My sister is 4 years younger, and as kids we fought all the time. I don't think I really liked her until she hit age 10 or so, and I didn't enjoy her until she was about 13. We get along well now, though, and I am closer to my sister than I am to my brother.

My brother and I are 15 months apart too. My other brother is 4 years younger and my sister is 7 years younger. I don't think I would say that I was particularly close to any of them. My younger brother and I really didn't even like each other. Even today, we are civil, but not much more.

I grew up taking care of the siblings and being the responsible one. Maybe I would have liked being an only child?

judiz
08-18-2010, 04:57 AM
Due to circumstances during and following his birth, my son is my only. He's never asked for a sibling, he has plenty of friends and I do not think he has suffered from being an only child. My only regret is that when he is grown, if something happens to me or my husband, my son will have to deal with it on his own and not have a sibling to share the responsibility and expense of caring for an aged or dependent parent. Hopefully if he choses to marry, his partner will be helpful and understanding.

Japanfan
08-18-2010, 12:01 PM
And I assume that most people who spend a lot of time online recreationally are introverts. They can express themselves much better by typing out their thoughts, allowing some time to process their thoughts, than in real-life conversations. I would also assume that this type of communication would feel torturous to an extrovert, on the other hand.

I'm not quite sure that's true. We should do a poll. :)

I'm an introvert but have had certainly more extroverted periods. The Internet - and this forum in particular - and the fact that I work alone at home have led me to favour an introverted lifestyle.

Hannahclear
08-18-2010, 12:59 PM
It's interesting to me that so many onlies say they were never lonely because they read a lot. I did and do that, too, but I'm not convinced that being entertained or engaged is the same thing as not being lonely.

I agree. I read a ton as a kid and do now as well, but as a child, it was often as a substitute for someone to talk to, especially when I was old enough to stay at home while my parents worked.

skategal
08-18-2010, 01:53 PM
It's interesting to me that so many onlies say they were never lonely because they read a lot. I did and do that, too, but I'm not convinced that being entertained or engaged is the same thing as not being lonely.

Where we lived there was always a house or two nearby with girls living there the same age as me so I always had friends to play with. We would go back and forth between houses all day long.

Also, my mom's younger sister lived with us when I was between the ages of 4 - 10. She is 11 years younger than my mom (and coincidentally 11 years older than me.) In some ways, she was like a 3rd parent and in other ways, more like a much older sibling.

My parents enrolled me in social activities a couple of times a week as well, plus the time I was in school I was surrounded by friends....so I really didn't feel lonely at all.

I recognize that others did feel lonely as an only. But for me, it wasn't an issue.

Evilynn
08-18-2010, 03:35 PM
I've read that if there is more than five years difference between siblings, the conventional wisdom regarding oldest/youngest "resets." Personally, I like the age difference. My younger brother and I are much closer than we are to the older ones, and despite the closeness in age, closer to each other than the older ones are for each other. If you're going to have multiple children, five years is a good spread. The oldest one gets plenty of parent time/attention on his own before going off to kindergarten, and again, just personal experience, there's less jealousy. Also, you're not at school at the same time except elementary school, and possibly college (grad school where my brother was an undergrad).

My sister is 6 years older than me, and my parents planned it this way, because my dad'd constantly fight with his sister (3 years older than him), but got along fine with his older brothers (6+ years between them). My sister and I didn't really have much interaction until I was in my teens, but have been close ever since.

BlueRidge
08-18-2010, 03:40 PM
My sister and I are 11 months apart. :encore: In my experience, this has been excellent.

agalisgv
08-18-2010, 04:28 PM
OT, but I've never understood how babies can be born so close together. I guess you would have to not nurse. Or maybe the second is premature. But two full-term babies? How does a woman's body recover that quickly to conceive again?

BlueRidge
08-18-2010, 04:32 PM
OT, but I've never understood how babies can be born so close together. I guess you would have to not nurse. Or maybe the second is premature. But two full-term babies? How does a woman's body recover that quickly to conceive again?

I don't know, but my mother and her sister were 11 months apart too.

Now my sister was born premature, but I don't know what effect that had, mostly because I'm sort of clueless about this stuff. Maybe I'll ask my mother. :)

allezfred
08-18-2010, 04:37 PM
I'm an only child and can't say I've ever been at a disadvantage socially. Like you IceAlisa I was reading very early and that is still one of my favourite pastimes. My Mum was always a big reader and trying to get her attention while she was stuck in a good book was a lost cause so I guess I thought if you can't beat 'em..... I don't ever remember being lonely and even today, I enjoy my own company as and when the occasion arises. My partner on the other hand, who is from a large family of siblings, hates being alone.

That's the exact opposite of Mr. allezfred and me. I'm the third of four and Mr. allezfred is an only child. I'm happy enough doing things on my own whereas he is not.

pat c
08-18-2010, 04:50 PM
OT, but I've never understood how babies can be born so close together. I guess you would have to not nurse. Or maybe the second is premature. But two full-term babies? How does a woman's body recover that quickly to conceive again?

My husbands siblings are all a year or so apart, except for the last who is 12 years younger.

1st one - 1 year and 1/2 older
2nd - 11 months older
my husband
4th - exactly one year younger
5th - 13 months younger

;)
My mil was a busy woman.

ioana
08-18-2010, 04:50 PM
I'm an only child and for the most part didn't have too much trouble making friends and adjusting to things like living with roommates.

The one time I did wish I had a brother or sister to talk to was when my family moved to the US and I didn't really know anyone at my high school, nor did I speak enough English slang to be able to fit in as quickly as I would have liked. I think in the end you learn for those types of experiences, too.