PDA

View Full Version : Only children: not so lonely after all



Pages : 1 [2] 3 4 5 6

IceAlisa
08-17-2010, 06:19 PM
To think we are all so quiet in real life...

I should clarify that in an academic setting you can't shut me up :shuffle: but in a social setting I am much more of an observer. In other words, I am a nerd!

BlueRidge
08-17-2010, 06:22 PM
Okay, so I'm the real quiet one here.

You'd be lucky to get two words out of me in rl.

ilovepaydays
08-17-2010, 06:22 PM
I am an only child too - I wasn't lonely but I also read a lot of books, too! I am noticing a connection here. :)

I tend to get along well with first-borns and maybe there are a lot of similarities.

I think there are advantages and disadvantages with any number of children you have or how the ages are spaced apart.

escaflowne9282
08-17-2010, 06:23 PM
I am an only child, both of my parents wanted more,but it was not meant to be. I have to admit that I hated, and still hate, being an only child. I didn't have any cousins my own age, and didn't grow up in a neighborhood with many other children. I remember being somewhat lonely as a kid. I was a very avid reader and had a very active imagination. I was also very introverted and I didn't really have any close friends until I was in high school.
For me it's a little bit sad that , as I get older, there won't be any extended family during the holidays, or even anyone to just reminisce with over what things were like when I was growing up.

agalisgv
08-17-2010, 06:24 PM
Noisy! Not noisy, just somewhat extroverted :cool:

I like people and get along with just about everyone IRL. I'm pretty easy-going in that respect. I'm not an only child either ;)
You'd be lucky to get two words out of me in rl. Fib!

BlueRidge
08-17-2010, 06:28 PM
Not noisy, just somewhat extroverted :cool:

I like people and get along with just about everyone IRL. I'm pretty easy-going in that respect.

that's a good way to be :)



Fib!

caught! :o okay, it depends on who is trying to get the words out of me. Some folks have more luck than others. ;)

ChelleC
08-17-2010, 06:40 PM
I should clarify that in an academic setting you can't shut me up :shuffle: but in a social setting I am much more of an observer. In other words, I am a nerd!


Wow, I could say those very same words about myself.

PRlady
08-17-2010, 06:59 PM
Wow, I could say those very same words about myself.

And me. :o So argumentative in class, so retiring during recess, story of my life.

I read a study some years back that in families with two or more sisters, the younger(s) tend to be more social, conventional and outgoing than the olders. Which was true in my family, I'm the older, more serious one.

My daughter is my only child but has three much older half-siblings. I'm glad she does even though my opinion of them ranges from :rolleyes: to :cheer2: to :eek: because they will indeed be company for her when her parents are gone. Also, she's close to her nieces, who are closer in age than her siblings, an added bonus.

genegri
08-17-2010, 07:02 PM
Where I grew up most families had only one child. I am an only child myself and don't remember ever being lonely. I loved to read and could entertain myself very well. To this day I don't need to be around people to be happy. But I prefer to travel with DH or friends.

Overall I am introverted, very easy going, very considerate of others, not detail-oriented and not very particular about anything. Generally a very likable person, so I am told, and if I may say so myself. ;) Depending on the surroundings, I can be kind of outgoing or very quiet or anything in between. I am still trying to figure out my own pattern. :P

I plan to have more than one child. Mostly because I worry that an only child could be all by him/herself when DH and I are both gone, in case that child is not married and is not particularly social. Not that having a sibling guarantees a lifetime friend, but it's a head start.

cygnus
08-17-2010, 07:02 PM
I am an only child too - I wasn't lonely but I also read a lot of books, too! I am noticing a connection here. :)

I think there are advantages and disadvantages with any number of children you have or how the ages are spaced apart.

I'm 4 of 5 (spread out over 15 years). We ALL read a lot, as did my parents. mr c was an only who also read a lot. I have 2 kids who read a lot. I think that there are reading families and not reading families- if the books are there, and the parents read, (and the kids are read to from a very young age), then the kids will read. In most circumstances. There are always exceptions.

deltask8er
08-17-2010, 07:15 PM
I'm going to send this news to a friend who has frequently told me if he has children, it has got to be more than one. Being an only child is just cruel, according to him. And he grew up with 3 siblings, one he refuses to talk to these days, and an ugly separation between parents before most of them were teens. oooooookay :confused:

And I assume that most people who spend a lot of time online recreationally are introverts. They can express themselves much better by typing out their thoughts, allowing some time to process their thoughts, than in real-life conversations. I would also assume that this type of communication would feel torturous to an extrovert, on the other hand.

And for the record, I have a brother, but he is 7 years youngers than me. So we both have felt like an only child growing up (me before he was born, and him when he was in junior high/high school because I was out of town at college).

my little pony
08-17-2010, 07:23 PM
that said, i'd love to have more than one child, only to keep each other company as their parents age. my parents have divorced, and my dad is ill. he is lonely having only one child as a support, and it's a tough burden for an only child to face (aging, sick parents with no familial support).

I was not unhappy being an only child when I was a child. However, as an adult I am overburdened with old people who need a variety of assistance and no one to help me. If I ever had children, I would have more than one if possible for this reason. Although there is no guarantee that a sibling would be willing to help me if I had one.

Lurking Skater
08-17-2010, 07:55 PM
I have 2 close friends who are only children and they wouldn't have it any other way. They are both close with their cousins.

On the other hand, I can talk to my brothers in ways that I can't talk to others and I really appreciate that now.

Family situations and dynamics are so different in families. There are always good and bad with everything.

algonquin
08-17-2010, 08:06 PM
I was not unhappy being an only child when I was a child. However, as an adult I am overburdened with old people who need a variety of assistance and no one to help me. If I ever had children, I would have more than one if possible for this reason. Although there is no guarantee that a sibling would be willing to help me if I had one.That is the crux of the matter, there is no guarantee that siblings will work together to assist aging parents. Having said that, this situation weighs on my mind as well. If I do end up with only one child, I will plan for those twilight years so it will be less of a burden on my son. You can't plan for every scenario, but those years can be made smoother was some planning.

oleada
08-17-2010, 08:18 PM
I read a study some years back that in families with two or more sisters, the younger(s) tend to be more social, conventional and outgoing than the olders. Which was true in my family, I'm the older, more serious one.


This is the situation our family. I have a hard time being social when I first meet people, but my younger sister is the epitome of a social butterfly. She knows everyone, everything and has more of an active social life than I've ever had. She is very, very social and extroverted. Just looking at her schedule exhausts me.

We're a family of three children, with me being the eldest. My parents are big readers. My brother and I enjoy reading, but my sister does not.