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mashenka82
07-26-2010, 09:13 PM
I've considered trying online dating, but it seems like a lot of work. I'm introverted too and while it would be nice to occasionally have someone there (especially going on vacations and things), I do need my space. I don't even have a facebook account because I don't want a bunch of people I barely know contacting me and showing off their random pictures. With the safety issues about online dating and stories of creepy emails and random strangers PO'd if you don't reply, I'll need to set up a special email account for this and then find some pictures to post and put together a profile. How much work do you put into your profile?


I did the online dating thing very briefly as it wasn't the right time for me. But I didn't encounter too many weirdos, and those that I did encounter, I nixed very quickly online.

As for how much effort this takes? Quite a bit. Your profile is very important, so I would put a lot of thought into it because this is what people will see and use to decide if you are a match and if they should contact you and explore further. It also takes time and effort to go through other people's profiles and decide if they are a match for you. When I joined, I didn't quite realize the effort this would require because you have to sort through people, chat with them online, chat on teh phone, meet up for coffee, etc., all the while working or going to school and hanging out with your friends. So it's a time consuming process, which I didn't realize and which is why it wasn't the right time for me.

PrincessLeppard
07-26-2010, 09:22 PM
What mash said. I did set up a separate email account for it--didn't want all that stuff coming into my regular email.

It does take some work, because a lot of guys write to all new women, without even reading the profile. You will get lots of copied and pasted emails--they are easy enough to figure out because usually you will realize you have zero in common with them. My profile says don't even bother to write if you aren't going to mention something in what I've said, but that still assumes the person has bothered to read what I wrote.

I've been told by a straight guy that my profile was too long and too picky. But trust, it wasn't stopping the flow of emails that were coming in... :scream:

I did go on two nice dates that led to nothing, but then school started and it just got to be too much work.

There are nice guys on there, but it's work to find them. But I suppose if the right one pops up, then it's worth it. :)

Kruss
07-26-2010, 11:18 PM
I think I'm starting to spot the cut and paste ones already. I didn't realize a lot of guys blindly email new women on the site but that would explain a few responses I already got. :/

Anita18
07-27-2010, 12:06 AM
I think I'm starting to spot the cut and paste ones already. I didn't realize a lot of guys blindly email new women on the site but that would explain a few responses I already got. :/
:lol: They're usually the first ones to respond, since I think there's a "new members" link on most sites.

Meh, it wasn't all that much work for me. Although I made the dreadful mistake of posting a relatively witty personal ad on Craigslist (yeah, I know) and got 400 emails in 24 hours. :rofl: Fishing through THAT was exhausting. :yikes:

And after all that, I only went on about 5 dates and went nowhere. :lol: When I finally met the guy who would become my bf, I was only checking Plentyoffish once every two weeks when I had some time. It worked out for us because we contact each other intermittently anyway. Only a crazy stalker guy would expect a response within a day, I think.

Ziggy
07-27-2010, 12:44 AM
I can't do Internet dating. Apparently, I don't behave very well on dates at this point in my life so I'm liable to give some guy who doesn't know me the wrong first impression. I was on a date once at a restaurant and one of the Grand Prix events was on the television in the bar and I kept looking over my date's shoulder as he was talking to watch the skating. :shuffle:

He said he would get his revenge during a hockey game, but we never actually made it that far.

Oh my god, you arranged a date during a GP event... BURN THE INFIDEL! :lynch:

Kruss - I also don't reply if I'm not interested. As you've written on that community board, letting people know "I'm not interested" just rubs it up in their face. They already get the point, if they just don't hear back from you. ;)

made_in_canada
07-27-2010, 12:47 AM
That's when you tell him what you need. :) When I was sick (this was for months since I was slow in recovering from stomach flu) my bf asked specifically what he could do to help.

And it isn't like introvert bfs don't care. They do. They just doesn't know what to do, so you have to tell them. :)



Oh, I told him, first subtly then not-so-subtly. I realize that it's not easy for the caregivers either when someone is sick but he still refused to do any cleaning around the house, do things like install a ceiling fan (I had to do it which wiped me out for two days) and whined about having to clean the litter box (I wasn't allowed). His best friend told him that he was treating me like crap, his response was basically meh. He cared and was worried about me but had no idea how to practically show it. I have never felt so alone in my life, he wouldn't even come to chemo with me because there's needles there :wall:

Anita18
07-27-2010, 01:29 AM
Oh, I told him, first subtly then not-so-subtly. I realize that it's not easy for the caregivers either when someone is sick but he still refused to do any cleaning around the house, do things like install a ceiling fan (I had to do it which wiped me out for two days) and whined about having to clean the litter box (I wasn't allowed). His best friend told him that he was treating me like crap, his response was basically meh. He cared and was worried about me but had no idea how to practically show it. I have never felt so alone in my life, he wouldn't even come to chemo with me because there's needles there :wall:
Yeah, that sounds lame. :lynch: My dad and sister hate needles as well, but at least they would show up in person and look away when the IV went in.

I certainly would have pointed out how installing a ceiling fan isn't helping my healing process. :P My bf admitted he missed going out to restaurants when I was sick and unable to eat anything aside from apples and ginger tea, but he didn't mention it when I was actually feeling ill.

That doesn't just sound introverted, that sounds (maybe inadvertently, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt) selfish, completely clueless, and clearly not ready for the responsibility of being with another person.

Kruss
07-27-2010, 03:36 AM
Okay, now I KNOW they don't all read the profiles. I just got 'winked' at by someone who clearly didn't pay attention.

He wants: 18-45 years old (I'm 46), he wants slender (I clearly state I'm BBW), he "definitely" wants kids, I clearly state I don't.

Buh-bye

:lol:

Bailey_
07-27-2010, 05:49 PM
Oh yeah, there are lots of guys who don't read the profiles and it is very obvious when they send their "fishing" email - "I read your profile I want to talk with you." Seriously, if you read my profile mention something that we have in common to start some conversation (not done because that would take more than 10 seconds) and don't email me if you don't live in my province or we have nothing in common. Seriously, I used to laugh at the guys who would contact me from the states - the farthest person who ever contacted me was from Italy. Now, I'd love to meet someone and move to Italy but it's a little hard to meet for a date if I live in Canada and he lives in Italy. Duh!

My favorite thing to do was to go to the "intimate encounters" section and see which men who had contacted me were also on that list. Scary...

Kruss
07-28-2010, 05:06 PM
This is turning into a rather amusing experience; I've been providing my friends with daily funny stories of online dating sites.

Today I read a profile from a guy who described his musical tastes by saying he's "not into wrap". I bet the Hallmark people will be upset to know that. :lol:

made_in_canada
07-28-2010, 08:35 PM
Misspelling and grammatical errors like that would be a complete turn off for me. I don't think I could date a poor speller.

zaphyre14
07-28-2010, 11:58 PM
I'm dipping a tentative toe into plentyoffish, more out of curiosity than anything else. So far the results have been underwhelming.

Lates response is from a guy half my age looking to be "mentored and nurtured." I don't think so, bud.

Norlite
07-29-2010, 12:01 AM
Lates response is from a guy half my age looking to be "mentored and nurtured." I don't think so, bud.



"Are you my Mother?"

Anita18
07-29-2010, 12:10 AM
I'm dipping a tentative toe into plentyoffish, more out of curiosity than anything else. So far the results have been underwhelming.
You do have to somewhat lower your standards, but that depends on what your standards are. ;)

When I first met my bf, it was more like, "meh" but I didn't have anything better to do with my time so I figured I might as well go out with this guy. He seemed nice enough, and not outwardly insane. :rofl:

One of my professors in college met her husband through speed dating. She kept on saying no to prospectives during the session but finally decided to stop being so picky (like, he didn't reeeaaally have to like the same kind of music she did) and the next guy she said yes to, she eventually married. :lol:

zaphyre14
07-29-2010, 12:16 AM
You do have to somewhat lower your standards, but that depends on what your standards are. ;)

My standards aren't that high - employed, breathing and wifeless about covers it. Hair is a plus. :)

In the first two weeks, I can't seem to get two out of three. Mr. Looking for Mom was the best of the lot.