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Aussie Willy
05-30-2010, 12:02 PM
How do you stop dwelling and thinking about those things that bug you?

You know, those stupid little things that niggle at your mind and you would really just forget them and move on. Because they are not worth losing sleep over. But you continue to go over them again and again in your mind.

Are there any methods that people have figured out for dealing with them?

I ask because with myself it happens quite often and I get annoyed with myself that I can't let things go. However I assume it happens to quite a few of us and we all go through it at certain points of time.

MOIJTO
05-30-2010, 01:41 PM
If its something that really causes you upset with your daily life than I suggest some counseling.

Some self help books can be useful too, I cannot remember the authors name but the title is--Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, he has other books too.

I have found that life is way to short to allow yourself to be bothered by little things. I have found that really putting priorities in order (important things not wants) helps.

Bright Blessings!

Garden Kitty
05-30-2010, 02:14 PM
I've found the best way to avoid thinking about negative things is to stay as busy as I can with something positive. Usually I'm so tired when I go to bed that I couldn't stay awake thinking about things even if I tried.

Karina1974
05-30-2010, 02:20 PM
I've found the best way to avoid thinking about negative things is to stay as busy as I can with something positive. Usually I'm so tired when I go to bed that I couldn't stay awake thinking about things even if I tried.

Distraction. This tends to work for me too.

michiruwater
05-30-2010, 03:16 PM
If I am about to go to bed and there is some thing that's been bugging me all day and I can't stop thinking about it and I know I won't sleep, I have a little journal on my dresser in which I write down all those kinds of thoughts and work through them in order to get them out of my head and on paper and acknowledge them for what they are. Normally, they no longer bother me and I am able to sleep.

BigB08822
05-30-2010, 03:46 PM
I have this problem, BIG TIME! If something gets to me, it gets to me big time. I either don't care at all or can't seem to quit thinking about it. It gets so bad that I will have anxiety issues and high blood pressure. The only thing that works a little for me is to go to a quiet place and basically meditate. I just sit somewhere and take big deep breaths and try to think about nothing. It calms me down a bit but usually I go back to thinking about whatever it is that was bothering me, anyway. This is not always the answer but sometimes the only thing that will work is to take something like xanax, especially if it is at night and I can't sleep.

mila19
05-30-2010, 04:31 PM
Solution 1. :nopryde:
Solution 2. watch a movie, better if a big drama. It makes me look at things in the "There can always be worse than my situation" :P
Solution 3. Talk to a friend, but avoid the negative nelly type. Even if you don't want to go into details, sometimes having somebody saying it will pass or give you some idea helps. People who dwell most of the times lack the ability to judge objectively or be constructive.

PrincessLeppard
05-30-2010, 04:39 PM
I go for a run. This, obviously, only works during the day, though. Running through my neighborhood at 3 in the morning would give you more things to dwell upon. ;)

vesperholly
05-30-2010, 05:40 PM
When something's really bothering me, I write down things exactly as I feel them - no justifying, no minimizing - in a private entry on my livejournal. It's like a release.

mmscfdcsu
05-30-2010, 05:49 PM
Using cognitive therapy techniques to modify the inappropriate thoughts. Examples:

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/BB-5-Unhelpful%20Thinking%20Styles.pdf

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/BB-3-The%20Thinking-Feeling%20Connection.pdf

The Centre for Clinical Interventions has lots of great resources for modifying thoughts.

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=47

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=40

altai_rose
05-30-2010, 06:12 PM
I tend to freak out and dwell on just about everything.:lol: Being busy really helps against it. I also find thought suppression to be helpful. I tell myself, "Okay, I'm going to worry about this for 10 minutes only." And then I let myself really worry and dwell on the subject for 10 minutes. Then I tell myself, "Okay. I've finished worrying about it."

Norlite
05-30-2010, 06:21 PM
I tend to freak out and dwell on just about everything.:lol: Being busy really helps against it. I also find thought suppression to be helpful. I tell myself, "Okay, I'm going to worry about this for 10 minutes only." And then I let myself really worry and dwell on the subject for 10 minutes. Then I tell myself, "Okay. I've finished worrying about it."



I used to be really bad too. And both work great for me now.

1. keep incredibly busy.
2. decide I'm done thinking about it now. (very hard to do. learned how after years and years)

And a third. Ask myself what I can do to "fix" this. If anything, get to it and fix it best I can. If the answer is nothing, then just decide worrying or dwelling on it is useless and go on from there

As I said, it took years to get to where I am now, but it seemed to work for me. I'm now relatively stress free after being so bad in my past live I'd make myself sick.

Anita18
05-30-2010, 08:39 PM
I've found the best way to avoid thinking about negative things is to stay as busy as I can with something positive. Usually I'm so tired when I go to bed that I couldn't stay awake thinking about things even if I tried.
Yup. Keeping busy with other things leaves no energy to think about the stuff you can't help.


And a third. Ask myself what I can do to "fix" this. If anything, get to it and fix it best I can. If the answer is nothing, then just decide worrying or dwelling on it is useless and go on from there.
This is probably what I do most. If I decide that I can do something about it, I only think about it long enough to decide what I'm going to do. I then immediately do it, so it doesn't bug me anymore. And then it's done. No need to think about it anymore, because you've already done something about it.

It also helps if you're really lazy, like I am. When I was younger, my mom used to tell me that my laziness would be the end of me, but I think it's the main reason why I'm so relaxed and happy as an adult. :lol: I only have so much energy to do or think about things, and I'd rather not spend that precious energy wallowing on things that make me anxious. It's basically an issue of prioritizing.

Dr.Siouxs
05-30-2010, 09:54 PM
try a form of active meditation. Do one thing at a time and put your whole heart/attention/focus into whatever it is that is being done--just be fully present in the moment.

casken
05-30-2010, 10:17 PM
I've been like this since I was a very young kid (like 5/6) and the above suggestions (general therapy, cognitive therapy, medication, meditation, keeping myself busy/distracted, talking with friends, etc) never worked for me. I would always just return to dwelling on the same things.

Once I hit my thirties I think I started to accept that this is just probably the way my brain is wired, and tried try adapt over the past couple of years the best I could.